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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832228">Chasing My Sun (Larry Stylinson)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemisanalisa/pseuds/artemisanalisa'>artemisanalisa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Larry - Fandom, One Direction (Band), harrystyles - Fandom, larrystylinson - Fandom, louistomlinson - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Closeted Character, M/M, The X Factor Era</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:54:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>54,433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832228</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemisanalisa/pseuds/artemisanalisa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was always them wasn’t it? </p><p>A realistic and romantic writing surrounding the real time events of Larry from twenty ten to present day!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue/AN</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hi luvs! </p><p>If some of you have read my first fiction, thank you for returning. </p><p>If you haven't, it's great to meet you! (or kinda meet you) </p><p>My name is Artemisia, and I am a twenty-three year old writer. I have been waiting for a comprehensive timeline to do a story like this and thankfully I have finally gotten one together after referencing many different sources. I have been a Larry since I joined the fandom in twenty-eleven and so I am so excited to finally write this book. This has been uploaded to AO3 at request but I originally write on wattpad where gifs, photos, and text use is included! I know some people like it here, but since i’m still figuring out ao3, if you want the full story immediately it’s on wattpad under the same name:) </p><p>This story is going to be detailed. </p><p>It will be romantic. </p><p>It will follow our timeline of events. </p><p>(and don't worry theres smut too) </p><p>It will hopefully fulfill all your realistic Larry needs. </p><p>Now, I do write Mature Content because I believe that it's personally important to a love story, BUT I respect those who don't enjoy reading this content for their reasons. I will always give warnings and promise to be clear where it begins and ends so you can still enjoy this story but not have to feel uncomfortable. I hope this works for us all :) </p><p>I have been preparing this story for months, and I've already written one similar (which i ultimately decided to unpublished so I could focus on Chasing My Sun, but thank you so much for your support there.)! You guys are amazing, I adore you.</p><p>I have also created a playlist that goes along with this story chronologically for those who REALLY want to immerse themselves in the experience as the story goes on. I will always leave the song name at the beginning of the chapter when necessary, but I sadly won't be sharing my streaming profile for privacy reasons :) I would encourage you to listen to the song before or after if you'd like! </p><p>I hope you guys will like this story. I will try to update very often, as I love to write. This story will be lengthy, but it will be full of Larry love. My hopes is it will fulfill the timeline well and give us our TRUE and honest Larry Story. </p><p>Of course I do disclaim we obviously don't know the EXACT story, so although this is based on the timeline, the details in between are my own filler for the purpose of writing a dynamic story full of sweet moments. Its tightly based on the timeline, but its of course still a Fan FICTION and some opinions are my own based on master posts and being a larry for so long :) </p><p>Thanks for taking time to read this and support me 💚💙 </p><p>Oh! And if you want to see the trailers i've made you can follow me at @larrystylinsun on tik tok! :) </p><p>On we go!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Battle of the Bands</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Harry's Pov*</p><p>"Baby get up!" Harry heard his mom calling from the other side of the house. His alarm was going off repeatedly to the tune of an Elvis instrumental that changed daily. He sat up to turn it off with his thumb and felt his face warm from the grogginess of sleep.</p><p>"You don't want to be late, do you?" she said, coming and peaking her head inside his doorframe. Harry giggled to himself as she crinkled her nose at him, gesturing him to stand up with one hand.</p><p>"Fine, Fine. Getting up!" He said as she disappeared into the hall once again.  He pulled his legs over to the side and stood against the chilly wooden floor. It sent a shiver up his spine as he walked across it with his bare feet, and he entered his white tiled bathroom to get himself prepared for the day.</p><p>As he walked in, he stared at himself in the mirror and tried to wash the sleepiness out of his face with cold water. He brushed his teeth while humming against his toothbrush, and tried to breathe deeply in another attempt to start the day off on the right foot. He needed to start with as much positive energy as he could today.</p><p> </p><p>He smelt the scent of vanilla coming from the kitchen in hand with the clanking of loud pans crashing against each other sporadically. He felt like his mom was just as nervous as he was about this trip and competition, but he was trying to simply take things as they came rather than getting overworked.</p><p>He tuned his favorite station to play through his personal radio his sister had bought him for Christmas, and danced around like a manic to whatever came on. He had to make sure he was away from any shy tendencies, and that meant starting this practice in private from the very beginning and getting his jitters out.</p><p>"Almost ready, Harry?" His mom called through the halls of the home. Her voice bounced off the wooden walls and settled into the white carpet that laid beneath Harry's bare feet. He felt a bit sick to his stomach as he stopped dancing around and began walking out of the room, realizing the real portion of his day had now begun. Now that his routine was done, everything felt so real so suddenly.</p><p>He stared at his feet as he walked down the hallway, letting his curls fall into his face and watching an untied shoelace drag behind his trainers. He was quite out of breath the entire time.</p><p>
  <em>Probably from all your stupid dancing. He thought.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or maybe from the nerves.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Either way, get it together.</em>
</p><p>He came into their kitchen soon after catching his breath to see his mom slouched over the white and wooden counter, spinning around what looked like pancake batter in a glass bowl. The smell of the kitchen made him feel at ease, it was always nice to feel like someone was taking care of you and whenever his mom did that he felt it immensely.</p><p>"Can you go on and put them on the grill? Use that little green cup over there!" His mom said, gesturing to the open pantry drawer with measuring cups. "Make a couple for you and me for before I take you down to the station."</p><p>Harry put a hop into his step and went on to join his mom in cooking. It tended to always help him calm down to cook for himself or others, and he felt like his mom knew that. He sensed that that was why they were doing this. It would've been much simpler to just pick up something on their way, but this was her underlying way of helping, and Harry was thankful.</p><p>Cooking was a very simple task to him. All he had to do was follow orders and he produced something others enjoyed, and it made him feel good. He thought it was a great way to feel himself grounded once again, and if it was for someone else it had an intimacy to it that he clung onto. His mom always cooked for them as a way to say "I love you.", and Harry liked that idea. Actions spoke louder than words anyway.</p><p> </p><p>He went on to butter the grill and make pancakes for himself and mother, messily placing them so they were somewhat equal in size. They both hummed along to Harry's radio he had brought into the kitchen.</p><p>He felt like making some pancakes was the least he could do, due to the last couple of months. Harry had been a bit nervous about this competition with his band and when he was nervous he tended to be unlike himself. He was<br/>
scatterbrained, reacting too quickly to things, and just generally not being as good on his toes as usual. In addition to that, he had been practicing during much of his free time which wasn't the softest activity.</p><p>His mom was a saint.</p><p>"Are you excited?" She asked him in a sing-songish tone as she brought over a plate of eggs and potatoes in one hand and her coffee in the other. She set it down at the white table and Harry pulled out her wooden chair in once setting down her breakfast. An instrumental version of Here Comes The Sun played over the radio as the strong scent of her sweet coffee hit Harry's senses.</p><p>"I think...more nervous than excited if I'm being completely honest." Harry responded, shoving a large forkful of pancakes that he covered in syrup into his mouth. It was one of his favorite comfort foods, sweet and easy.</p><p>"Try not to be too nervous. You will pull it off, youve always been good at that. Magic man of pulling it off!" His mom replied shaking her fork at him. Harry almost believed her, but the way she looked down after and was fiddling with her potatoes let him know she was just as worried as he was.</p><p>"I just feel I've put a lot of things in the next couple of months together, so I just need to focus on getting this knots out of my stomach. First this and then the X Factor audition...I'm worried I'm in over my head." Harry mumbled, still trying to really force himself to eat. He knew it would be better for him in the long run.</p><p>"You've always been so mature, Harry. Don't think you're doing anything you couldn't do, it's all here! It's yours to take! So take IT BABY!" She said, and grabbed one of his shoulders in her free hand and tapped it lovingly again.</p><p>"Cmon let's go. Before your curly head gets into more overthinking." His mum said through a laugh as she stood up but still continued eating off her plate. She set the white dishes into the sink and put all the pans she used to soak as Harry laughed at her way of always doing things right in the moment. It always felt like they both had to do three things all at once.</p><p>After moving the kitchen into a somewhat presentable state, Harry grabbed his things and sat himself in his moms front seat as she turned the engine on. It was turning over into spring, but it was still quite cold as he was only wearing a white button down, and grey trousers. He paired it with his favorite bandana to keep his hair up from his face, and black shoes.</p><p>"Just do your best today, okay? That's all the matters. Just give it your all." His mom said to him, grabbing his thigh and tapping it lovingly. His mom was never great with her words, but the actions that she did showered his family with love every single time.</p><p>He placed his hand on top of hers and felt great comfort knowing she was there. It meant a lot to him that she was always his cheerleader, even when he was tending to want to do things quickly and uniquely. She always tried to understand, even his dumbest ideas.</p><p>"I'm going to try. I'm just glad that we get to perform, and I'm hoping to meet some really cool musicians too."</p><p>"Well, you're also a really cool musician. Remember THEY want to meet people like you, baby. Let it take the nerves away knowing people want to see you do your best. And it's suppose to be fun!" she shook Harry's leg and then gave it two heavy taps.</p><p>"You're right. I can't keep getting to worked up, it's suppose to fun. I'll have fun." Harry said in a serious tone. He still was focused on just wanting people to enjoy what he did and worrying they wouldn't. He really wanted to do be enjoyed.</p><p>"Oh gosh, you said "I'll have fun" in the saddest little tone i've ever heard! C'mon, let's go. Happy attitude!"</p><p>Harry laughed as the car came to a halt at the drop off section of their small station in St. Holmes. He had to go into Manchester for the competition, and so it was about fifty minute ride until they were going to be there. He truly was so excited, and even though he didn't have too much experiencing singing he was glad that this competition was before his audition so he could gain some confidence.</p><p>His mom gave him a hug and a kiss on top of his head as she squeezed him tightly. He whined at her overactive affection, but still snuggled into her shoulder feeling the comfort.</p><p>"I'll be there later today to see you! Good luck, but you don't even need it!" She called as he walked further away, Harry laughed and shook his head side to side rolling his eyes.</p><p>He walked through the small station, to get to his platform and hand his ticket in. "The Summer of 69" was blaring in his ears, as he was hoping to channel the glorious energy of Bryan Adams for his own performance of the song today.</p><p>As he waited on the side of the platform for his train, he heard a pair of running feet coming toward him and turned quickly to be tackled in a hug.</p><p>"You ready!!??" the boy yelled. He let his chestnut brown hair fall into his eyes as he pulled back from the impact against Harry. He had a quick jump in his step, like he was so excited he couldn't keep both feet on the floor. He took his fingers tips and played them along Harry's chest funnily.</p><p>"We're going to kill it!" He yelled and threw his head back to yell to statement. Harry giggled at his bandmates ability to be so violently himself, not even worrying about any of the people in the station (who were all giving them annoyed looks to say the least.)</p><p>"Say it with me man! Cmon!" Will said, grabbing Harry's arm and gesturing him to yell along. Harry felt the blush in his face become apparent as he felt all the eyes of the station on them. They probably thought they were the two most annoying boys they ever did see.</p><p>"Don't be chicken! C'mon you will never see these people again!" Will said still shaking Harry's arm. Harry rolled his eyes once again and laughed as they both threw their heads back and screamed.</p><p>"WE'RE GONNA KILL IT!"</p><p>Harry tilted his head back up in laughter and noticed all the people looking them, probably wondering if the two boys had drank four shots of espresso to be this enthusiast this early in the morning. Harry felt embarrassed for a moment, but soon they all looked away, and left Harry and Will in their fits of laughter as they teased one another. It reminded him that Will was right, it was only temporary.</p><p>The other members of their band had  decided to go to Manchester and stay the night, since they weren't as early risers as Harry and Will were. They had a fear that they'd be late, and thought it would simply be easier to stay closer to their venue, which Harry was thankful for.</p><p>"How's your morning been?" Harry asked Will as they stepped onto the train and took their seats. He shrugged his shoulders as he sat down and settled.</p><p>"Alright. Been feeling so excited, and that yell was exactly what I needed. People looking at me, and me already decided I don't care what I look like as long as i'm having fun!" He said laughing. Harry admired that Will was so free in his actions so much, in fact it was one of his favorite things about him.</p><p>"What about you mate? How you doing?" He asked as he was shoving a granola bar into his mouth and washing it down with water. Harry wondered if he had eaten something proper, and found himself wishing he had brought him some of their breakfast.</p><p>"Hey? Don't worry about it mum. I already ate okay? This is only a snack." Will said, sitting back in his chair once again and smirking back at him. Harry smiled in embarrassment and found himself annoyed that he was so easily read by his friend.</p><p>They drove over to Manchester chatting about whatever they could think of. Harry knew they were a newer band, and so his expectations for the competition wasn't too high but he was glad he was at least able to spend time on stage and with his friends at the end of day.</p><p>"I'm just worried about people not liking it." Harry admitted as they played finger soccer with a sweets wrapper rolled up.</p><p>"Who cares if they don't like it, all the matters is WE like it." Will said, trying to score into the fake goals they had made with folded up paper.</p><p>"You're much more sure of yourself than I am brother." Harry muttered, and he flicked the wrapper into the goal and cheered, leaving Will with a grimace on his face.</p><p>The train pulled to a stop after a drive filled with snacks, laughter, and even some quiet time where Harry wrote about his morning in his journal and listened to his music while Will knocked out (snoring of course). He always liked to keep himself checked in, and if he had too many thoughts running around his brain he was less likely to concentrate, meaning journaling was an important part of his balancing act.</p><p> </p><p>As people began to stand up and stretch out for their arrival Harry went and hit Will on his head to wake him. Will opened his eyes and sat up with a start, then glaring daggers at Harry. He hit him back on his arm harshly after he got his bearings and it made him wince, but laugh nonetheless.</p><p>Will stood up and gathered his back pack, which had his drumsticks settled in where a water bottle should've been. He grabbed the remains of his second breakfast and shoved it in his mouth, shaking the crumbs off his hands as well as they walked off the cart.</p><p>"Let's do this!" He yelled, and Harry followed his quick pace to run across the station to their cab. He was always taken aback at how energetic Will was with everything.</p><p>As he ran through trying to keep up, Harry remembered how much he loved Manchester. It was busy, but not too much to overwhelm him. It made even the weather feel more beautiful as they ran through the open section and he felt the cold dewy air fall onto his face. He couldn't take his grin away as he followed Wills footsteps all the way to cab.</p><p>"Manchester School of Rock please." Will said to the cab driver, and he nodded in agreement and pulled away from the pick up line. Harry immediately took out his phone and texted his family that he was safe there.</p><p>"Feet on Manchester grounds! Ready to go." He typed trying to sound more confident than he actually felt. Will took it upon himself to text their group chat and made sure they were all going to arrive at the same time, which luckily they were.</p><p>Harry felt his phone buzz at the messages from Will and also being accompanied by the good luck wishes from mom, Gemma, and Robin. They were all going to come and see him as well, but they wanted to let Harry have the privacy of the train ride without his family down his neck.</p><p>"We've got to take a picture before we perform okay? Don't let me forget." Will said as he clicked away on his sliding phone. Harry nodded and made a mental note as he felt them pulling onto a school ground.</p><p>There were so many people there already, all bunched up in groups. Instruments were everywhere, and Harry felt his entire mood shift into pure excitement. His body suddenly felt like there were little stars running through his veins. These were people just like him, and there was no reason to fear any of them. He was here to do what he liked to do, and focusing on the fun would make this much better.</p><p>"Let's find the boys and get this show on the road!" Will said, and Harry followed behind him taking in the scene. The energy was infectious, and he was so happy in this moment.</p><p>After bits of calling, moving around, and just a bit of frustration, Harry and Will finally saw their band mates in the crowd with the phone to their ears trying to find them as well. They joined together it hugs and Harry felt their Bassist hands shaking as he embraced him.</p><p>He took a quick access of the scene to see what his mates needed him to say. He actually prided himself in his ability to balance out situations he was in, and so he took Christians hand and held it until it stopped shaking in nerves.</p><p>"We got this. Just think of it as another rehearsals. Just mates having a good time yeah?" He said with a smile, Christian nodded at him reassuringly and licked his lips before taking a deep breath.</p><p>"Let's go watch some performances! I don't want to miss anyone good!" Will urged, and Harry turned to him nodding and they went on their way to the show area.</p><p>He couldn't help but look at all of the people that he passed on his way there and felt a bit insecure about the way he had chosen to dress. His shirt hung off him a little too loosely, and his trousers hugging him a bit too tight. He felt himself feeling so plain compared to some of these wonderful people that surrounded him.</p><p><em>Fearless</em>. He thought.</p><p>There was a group of girls that were dressed in black tennis skirts, chains, fishnet stockings and white blouses. They looked over at Harry and smiled, making him blush at his obvious staring issue. They then passed a group of guys that had come in complete tux, and Harry thought about how uncomfortable they must've been as he passed by and heard their complaints.</p><p>"Hurry up! I hear someone starting!" Daniel, their guitarist, yelled. Harry stopped his observing and quickened his step to a jog as he noticed he was falling behind. He began hearing the music surely, like as if he was turning it up on the radio slowly.</p><p>They approached the stage and Harry saw a group of boys performing and people cheering them on from the floor. It was five of them, all dressed similar to how Harry imagined himself looking with dark trousers and baggy button down dress shirts.</p><p>They were quite good for Harry's standards. He thought that they were performing really well, and the crowd seemed to enjoy it too. They all had a bit of edge about them that Harry couldn't put his finger on, but he set it down to pure confidence.</p><p>As we watched them, he couldn't help himself but notice the singer the most. He was in a beige button down shirt, and black jeans with a chestnut brown messy hair look. Harry furrowed his brows and rolled his lips in as he observed his actions. They were kinda like his own? He found it peculiar.</p><p>The singer was inching forward into the microphone with a bit of a hunched back, and he cupped it with both his hands like he was singing very intimately. His eyes were shut, only to open when he would pull away from the microphone for more difficult to reach notes.</p><p>Harry recognized the mannerisms, almost strangely. He had never seen or met this boy in his entire life, but there was something about him that seemed for familiar. If he wouldn't have been getting pinched by people within the crowd accidentally, he honestly would've thought he was imagining the whole thing.</p><p>The way that he stood and sang made Harry feel like he was watching a movie he had already memorized. It was an odd feeling to see someone, never having spoken, and feel like you knew them. He couldn't take his focus away from him and he tilted his head in observation, until the boy opened his eyes and locked his own with Harry's.</p><p>It was a quick moment, and the boy's eyes shifted up and down from Harry's head to his toes ending with him rolling his lips in and raising his eyebrows at Harry before continuing singing. He felt all the blood rush to his face, and dropped his gaze suddenly to try and compose himself. He felt his stomach go into his throat, and shoved it back down in annoyance by clearing it.</p><p>"What's up with you?" Will said as he noticed Harry's body language changing. Harry hated how he was so obvious.</p><p>"Nothing, nothing." Harry said quickly and brought his hand up to his neck sheepishly. He felt uneasy at the feeling he had just gotten, but blamed it on nerves.</p><p>"Who are these guys? They're good." Daniel asked, and it reminded Harry that he hadn't even looked at the name of the band or the members. He took it upon himself to go closer to the stage and read it, but his friends followed closely behind until they could read the sign.</p><p>"The Rouge." It read. Harry continued to read all the way down the list until his eyes landed on the name he had been looking for.</p><p>"Louis Tomlinson : Vocals."</p><p><em>Huh</em>. He had never heard that name before, so he assumed they had come from outside of Manchester because he knew most of the bands from there. He turned away from the sign, making a mental note of the name and began listening to the show again.</p><p>He didn't want to look up in fear that the boy would still be staring at him, but the other part of him wanted to meet his eyes again. He didn't recognize this effect that someone had on him, let alone someone he didn't know. It felt foreign and all too familiar at once in that moment.</p><p>He tried to contain his staring issue by looking at the other members of the band as he inched closer to the stage. They all looked so similar to Harry and his mates, and he was surprised that had not met them before by how good they seemed to be. He trailed along looking at the drummer, then the guitarist, then the bassist, only to look back up and still see Louis staring back at him.</p><p>Harry forced himself to keep the gaze longer this time, giving a shy smile and a bit of a wave. The corners of the boys mouth turned up in a smile as he averted his own eyes this time and stared at the floor.</p><p>They didn't meet eyes again after that, both of them avoiding the looks. Harry was both sad and happy at that fact as they watched the rest of their set in intimidation at how good they were. He went to his phone and tweeted an update before turning to his friends and walking to go prepare himself for their own performance.</p><p> </p><p><em>What a strange feeling.</em>..it left him unsettled to say the least. He searched his mind of what reasons his emotions had become some captivated with the boy, and so quickly. It had felt like he was watching someone he had known for years, yet it wasn't at all. Was this how nervous he was? That his mind jumbled his thoughts like this so terribly?</p><p>He pushed it away, deciding it was not like he was really ever going to see the boy again and blamed it on nerves. He thought maybe it was just a strange coincidence in the universe that he had been there at this time, and decided not to look too much further into it.</p><p>"Hey! Let's take a picture before we go and get ready for our set." Harry said, remembering what Will had asked him to remind him of. They all excitedly agreed and tried to find a space that was clear enough.</p><p>As the walked around trying to get the perfect photo opt, the boys they had just seen came walking down the stage with huge grins and happy eyes. Harry couldn't stop himself from smiling as he got a closer look at their singer.</p><p>"Hey! Can one of you guys take a picture of us?" Will yelled in their direction. Harry was internally screaming at the thought, and felt suddenly embarrassed at the looks him and the boy had shared.</p><p>"Oh sure!" One of the guys said, coming towards them. The rest of the band stayed back, and Harry took all of his power to not bring his eyes up.</p><p>"That's mate. And you guys were awesome by the way." Daniel said, and the boy who had come over shrugged his shoulders and shook his head shyly.</p><p>"Thanks. When do you all go on?"</p><p>"In about twenty. White Eskimo, on the program."</p><p>"We'll come back for you all. Thanks for the encouragement." The boy said, and then referenced then to all smash together to take a picture on the small camera.</p><p>"Smile!" He said as he clicked it their photo and smiled along.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Harry kept his arms wrapped around his chest as the boy handed the camera back to Daniel. He turned over and avoided the eyes he felt burning into the back of his head.</p><p>"Thanks guys! Good luck to you." Will said and shook the boys hand. He nodded and saluted them as he walked away with his band mates.</p><p>Harry took a breath in attempt to recover from how nervous he had become at the entire encounter. It was strange that someone was able to cause this kind of reaction in him...and he hoped he had only felt this way because he had so many butterflies in his stomach to perform.</p><p>Still</p><p>
  <em>What a feeling it was...</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N:</p><p>I know some people think they met here and others not until the X Factor, but I think it was here!</p><p>Like, the chances were just too high.</p><p>(I sound crazy)</p><p> </p><p>See you alll soon!</p><p>Hugs xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Boot Camp One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Louis POV*</p><p>"Okay, okay mom I got it love." Louis said giggling as he pulled away from his moms pepper kisses. He saw her eyes gloss over with a fond smile, and somehow it felt like she was the only one there in the station full of people.</p><p>"I'm just so proud of you!" She said, blubbering once again and pulling him in for a tight hug. Louis hugged her and rubbed her back gently as she let out a sniffle.</p><p>"I will be back before you will even notice i'm gone Mum. Those girls will keep you busy!" He said in her ear as he tapped her back lovingly. She laughed into his shoulder at the comment and pulled away, swallowing hard as if you compose herself.</p><p>"Good luck. Be smart like you always are." She said, intially pointing a finger at him but then reaching out to grab his hand and squeeze it.</p><p>"Always been too quick on your feet for my own good. I can never seem to outsmart you, boy."</p><p>"Not true. I'm no improviser, just tend to remember the right things to say is all." He said and squeezed his moms hand back scrunching his nose at her.</p><p>"Alright. Got everything? Gosh, I wouldn't even know what to ask you to have...But i'm sure you do. You always do." she said, rummaging in her purse while Louis did a checklist of all his belongings.</p><p>
  <em>One suitcase, his favorite tea, clothes for the next couple of months, glasses, contacts, journal, chargers, phone, wallet, ticket.</em>
</p><p>All accounted for in his mind while he watched his mom continue to scratch into her huge bag. He always told her that the bigger the bag you got the more likely it was that you would leave it a mess, and even though she agreed there she was with a bag as big as Louis' head.</p><p>"Got it!" She said happily, and handed Louis a small handful of money. He furrowed his eyebrows and stuck his hand out to refuse it.</p><p>"You know you don't have to do that. They provide what we need there-"</p><p>"Oh just take it! Do something fun while you're there. Make some friends. I don't want you getting lonely."</p><p>"And you think money will help me not be lonely? It'll just get me drunk!" He said, and his mom raised her eyebrows in shock.</p><p> </p><p>"I kid! I kid." Louis said laughing, and his mom shoved his shoulder playfully before linking her hands together and looking down at the floor.</p><p>"I'm going to miss you Boo-Bear. You always keep my head on the right way." She said softly, and Louis pulled her into a hug and wrapped his arm tightly around her. He pulled away after a second and saw her smiling face.</p><p>"Turn around." Louis said, and made a circle with his fingers.</p><p>"What? Why?" She said, turning abruptly and then Louis gently brought his two fingers tips to the back of her neck and twisted them as if pretending to hold and twist a key into a lock.</p><p>"There! Should stay on straight until I get back!" Louis said as his mom turned back around laughing and he kissed the imaginary key and stuck it in his jean pocket.</p><p>"Gonna miss you, Mum. Take care of yourself okay? It'll be nice and quick. I'll be back before you can blink."</p><p>"Don't worry about me sweetheart. You do too much of that. Go! Do you best and tell me all about it so you can buy me fancy cars and jewelry one day." She teased.</p><p>"There you go! I'll just do it so we can both have a life full of fancy jewelry. You know i've always thought i'd look GREAT in pearls?" Louis kidded, and she laughed along with him grabbing his hand gently to kiss it and release it.</p><p>He looked at his watch to see he had a half hour before his train, but his mom thought he was leaving in the next couple of minutes. He always had to lie to her about time to make sure she wasn't late, but he never really minded. Today she was actually on time, which gave Louis extra moments with her before saying goodbyes which he was glad for.</p><p>"Alright, see you soon my baby. Good luck to you!" she said, and hugged him for what felt like the thirty-fifth time squeezing him so hard he felt it in his ribs.</p><p>"Good luck to you too Mum!"</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"I don't know? Just it all!" Louis said as he grabbed his suitcase and began stepping away from her. He turned to see her wiping at her eyes, and smiling.</p><p>"For the fancy jewelry!" Louis yelled, and pumped his fist in the air like he was about to go lead a revolution. His mom raised hers too and yelled.</p><p>"For the pearls!"</p><p>Louis laughed and turned his head away, this time in seriousness. He knew his mom was going to be okay, but he was so used to taking care of things at this point he worried about her ability to adjust without him. He always feared her feeling like he was leaving her for other things.</p><p>He had kinda, always been used to taking care of his mom since he could remember. It wasn't in the way where he cooked, or cleaned, or things of those lines, but he knew he took care of his mom emotionally more than the average kid. He observed the way she enjoyed to have things done, and simply did them and made sure they were right. She was on his mind a lot of time, and all he wanted was her to feel loved and safe with him, because he had seen her feel the exact opposite. It was hazy since he was so young, but it was there.</p><p>His mom had had him barely graduating from highschool, and they were best friends from the moment Louis recognized memories. His dead-beat dad had left, good riddance, and so sometimes Louis noticed his moms tendencies to hold onto him more than "normal" would be considered. But, he never minded. She raised him solo, and so it tended to just be the two of them for A LOT of their time, and he could never think of blaming her for being afraid to lose him.</p><p>Louis remembered sleeping with her, eating, going to school, talking, shopping, studying, everything. His mom was always there, and Louis never felt like he missed out on anything by not having a dad. With that, also came a lot of him feeling like he wanted to keep her safe and keep them being so close for as long as he could. He never wanted to make her feel like she had missed out of anything herself for choosing to raise him alone. He would be the man with his head on his shoulders. He would be the consistent love, and the help, and the sensitive son who always protected his mom, and the best friend.</p><p>His mom was everything to him and always had been, and that made leaving her that much harder. She had always supported his silly dreams, and even was on his team when he did stupid things and got suspended or fired... Or when he had ditched school to practice football all day... Or when he left his clothes everywhere around the house... That was her best friend, and she had never made him feel like he had to fear much of anything.</p><p>So as Louis sat at the train station breakfast corner, he couldn't help but think about how his mom was going to handle all of this. He was glad that Mark would be there, it took a great boulder off his shoulders when they got together and even now. But still, he really did hope she wouldn't be too sad about things and would know that Louis was coming back. But he knew that was hard for her to remember.</p><p>He bit into his blueberry muffin as he sat, and wrote in his journal about his worries involving his mom hoping it will help him organize the thoughts better. His emotions tended to run wild if he let them, and writing them down seemed to help.</p><p>He hoped she'd be okay, he knew she would, but he hoped she would really be...because honestly?</p><p>He was beyond excited.</p><p>And he knew she'd want him to be excited and would hit him on the back of his head for worrying about her so much.</p><p>He had made it through the auditions for the X Factor, and was still almost unable to wrap his mind around it. Everything the last two weeks had felt like a dream he was trying to wake up from, only to actually live it daily.</p><p>So, he ate his muffin and threw the wrapper in the trash as he went to his platform and tried to compose himself. He had never even been to London for more than a day, and now he was going to be staying there long term as an X Factor Contestant ? It didn't feel real even as he heard his train boarding.</p><p>Stepping onto the train and found a seat by himself, and noticed that it was cold inside. He pulled his arms into a sweatshirt and felt the fleece run against his elbows as he looked into the station and felt a bit of tug at his hometown. He knew he would be able to come back, but something about this felt all too final and he didn't quite know if he was ready to leave Doncaster yet. But, as it always seems to happen, the decision was made for him as the doors closed and he let out a large exhale.</p><p><em>Change is good</em>. He thought to himself, watching as they pulled away. He felt himself almost immediately collapse his chest as his confidence shrunk leaving this Doncaster station. It always took him a while to open up, especially now in this brand new territory. He needed time to feel safe in new spaces. He blamed it on his bit of anxiety and shyness...</p><p>But nonetheless, he held onto his journal and remembered his plans. Holding onto something concrete made him feel better. It was something about knowing he was in control of the plans that helped him prepare his feelings for each day and in turn helped him relax.</p><p>He opened it up and saw all his scribbling and terrible handwriting. His journal was a place where nothing had to be just right, and that made it feel free for him. He took his pencil from his small bag hanging off his chair and tipped it to the paper.</p><p>
  <strong>"• Get there around 2:00pm.</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>• Unpack</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>• Talk to Two new people</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>• Call Mum and Sisters</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>• Journal worries down</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>• Sleep by 10"</strong>
</p><p>He continued to work on the list, dividing it into different sections and subcategories until he felt like he had a good plan for his arrival. He did not want to be one of those people that walked around looking like a lost puppy, especially since he wasn't familiar with anyone there. Having a plan made him feel more confident, and gave him the ability to breathe a bit easier knowing where his emotions could potentially be today, even if he didn't end up following it. If things went differently at least the intentions were there, right? That calmed him enough to put his headphones in and fall asleep for the three hour ride.</p><p>**</p><p>"All for London?" The intercom said above him. He had been in and out of sleep for a while, but he was feeling groggier than before as he opened his eyes. He sat up and took a swig of water as he blinked and tried to get rid of the sleepiness in them.</p><p>He watched everyone get up. Everyone going one by one, and so dreadfully slow it made his eyes roll. After longer than he expected he began following the crowd through the place. He wasn't too familiar with this train station, and so he thought it best to follow people that at least seemed like they knew what they were doing. They had arranged a car to pick him up from the X Factor team, so his only job was to get to that place and then enjoy the ride.</p><p>He was feeling a bit more anxious than before as he walked through the crowds. He hadn't expected to feel it so much, but it was slowly hitting him that he was truly away from home. He was on his own, able to do what he pleased but also with no one to lean on and no expectations...it was bitter sweet at best.</p><p>He felt his neck ache a bit as he turned it around to search for a location of cab pickups. He must've slept wrong in the train, he knew he had a tendency to move too much when sleeping anyway and that ride wasn't short.</p><p>He was never the best sleeper.</p><p>He followed along the signs and directions, feeling like his black luggage was getting heavier each step, until he reached the edge of the station where cars were lined up in rows. Outside of one he saw his name plastered on a sign, and a man standing with his back against the car cooley.</p><p> </p><p>"Louis Tomlinson?" The man said, raising his eyebrows and giving him a small smile. Louis nodded and so did his driver stepped out and opened to door of the small black car for Louis to step in.</p><p>His driver pulled his luggage into the trunk of their car and slammed it down, then circling towards the front of the drivers seat. Louis secretly hoped he didn't pack too much, he really didn't want to embarrass himself immediately with a too large suitcase.</p><p>He settled into his seat, and the driver turned on the soft engine which caused a whir that made Louis want to fall back asleep. He fought the feeling, and sat straight up in attempt to avoid it.</p><p>"So! The X Factor! Are you excited?" His driver asked with a smile and look in his rear view mirror.</p><p>"Uhm—I'm excited yeah." Louis said with his legs crossing in front of him shyly, and biting his nails in a bit of a habit.</p><p>
  <em>Do you think he notices how nervous I am? He thought.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What if he's picked up other contestants and they were all happy and go lucky?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What if this was the first test? To be charismatic to the cab driver?</em>
</p><p>He felt his stomach churn lightly as he continued to bite his nails. He felt his chest come into him as he sank further into the chair. He wondered what the cab driver had thought about him, and he wanted to speak up but was worried about mumbling his words.</p><p>"You don't have to be so nervous lad. Trust me, I'm no one you need to impress!" The driver said having a small laugh. Louis rolled his lips into his mouth, trying to convince himself that the driver was only laughing with him and not at him. He let out a light chuckle himself.</p><p>"Have you been picking up lots of contestants?" Louis asked, feeling himself a bit more comfortable now that the driver had said that.</p><p>"Oh yeah! I'm in charge of most of the boys from the beginning age up to twenty-two. Then the other guy does the upper half and the older category, it keeps us both busy."</p><p>"Have you seen some really good people?" Louis asked hesitantly. He didn't know how much he wanted the answer, but he wasn't opposed to it either. The nerves in his stomach seemed to be fluttering down back to an only slightly jelly state.</p><p>"Well, met some charming ones. Didn't really hear anyone sing, but most of them were just as nervous as i'm guessing you're feeling."</p><p>Louis looked out to see all the busy streets ahead, filled with people shopping and eating. He kinda liked how busy it was...It made him feel like there was less chance of people looking at him too closely.</p><p>"M'nervous yeah. Some of them weren't?" Louis asked.</p><p>"Mostly yes. I guess everyone just shows it in different ways. There was one lad, he was so young, and so talkative. I didn't even think he was remotely anxious until I shook his hand at the end and felt it clammed up! People are so good at hiding huh?"</p><p>Louis nodded his head and silently wished he was as good at hiding his nerves as the boy he was talking about.</p><p>They continued to chatter, mostly about London, throughout the ride there. The traffic was keeping them longer than Louis had anticipated, but he didn't mind. He thought about how this was going to be his only long-term alone time for months, so he tried to savor the silent moments.</p><p>Soon they pulled up to a large white house, with warm tones on the steps up to it and Louis couldn't help but think it looked...bland to what he expected. Although huge, it didn't necessarily look like a house made for television contestants, and honestly? He liked it that way.</p><p>"Here we are kid. How you feeling?"</p><p>"Good. And I'm not a kid." Louis said with a giggle in his tone. He got out of the car and immediately heard music being played from inside the house and people talking outside.</p><p>"Everyone that made it is in there?" Louis asked feeling his stomach starting to flutter again thinking of meeting all these people after a three hour train ride.</p><p>"Not everyone." The driver said as he pulled the luggage out and handed it to Louis. "Everyone moves into the big house after the first week. I think this is just the boys for the next couple of days."</p><p>Louis nodded and then reached out to shake the mans hand and take his suitcase from him.</p><p>"What's your name?" Louis asked the driver after pulling away.</p><p>"George. But you don't need to remember it, good luck!"</p><p>"Thank you, George." Louis said and smiled before turning around and facing the steps.</p><p>
  <em>Here we go.</em>
</p><p>He walked in a watched as people passed him by, while others gave him small smiles. He tried to keep his eyes down before at least getting to his room to change, and he pulled out his phone to see the photo of the letter saying he was in room thirty-two. He really didn't want to talk to anyone before unpacking and changing to freshen up, and luckily he reached his room quickly and turned the key into it's lock.</p><p>There was a simplicity to it all that he really liked about his space for the next couple of days. His bed was completely white, and there was a dresser with a couple of drawers for his belongings, along with a lamp and desk in the corner.</p><p>He put his bag down on the bed and turned over to find a note laying on his desk along with some candy he put into his mouth while reading it.</p><p>
  <strong>Louis Tomlinson,</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Welcome to the X Factor! Today you have the day to get settled in. You will have this room to yourself, and as our competition continues we will adjust the living arrangements. You are housing today with all boys 16-21 that auditioned for us this quarter, and we encourage you to have a good (but safe) time.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Dinner will be provided for you, and if you have any allergies feel free to let us know. Today dinner begins at six, but depending on your time of arrival you may go and get it any time from six-nine.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>We also encourage you to get a good nights rest for tomorrow's rehearsal. The cars will be leaving the front at eight am to the London Arena.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Don't be late, and have a good time.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Oh, and Congratulations.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>X Factor Team xoxo</strong>
</p><p>Louis closed the letter and swallowed his last bit of sweet candy happily. He had the agenda printed out in his bag, but it was helpful to also see it verified by the judges, and getting congratulated made him feel like there were fireworks around the room.</p><p>Louis unpacked slowly, savoring the time he had been given for the task. He stuck his headphones in his ears and smiled as his bands set list playlist rang through them. He still couldn't imagine he was here, and he hoped he wouldn't come to terms with it just to be eliminated tomorrow.</p><p>He checked the things off of his list and unpacked, called his family, and after showering he actually laid himself down for a nap. He was not too eager to go outside just yet, and decided that the better rested he was the better he would look anyway.</p><p>His alarm went off after an hour and a half, and he quickly got up and changed. He put on a pair of beige trousers, with a blue t shirt and pair of his favorite shoes. He moved his hair across his forehead and put on his glasses, finally feeling a bit more ready to meet other people than before.</p><p>As soon as his foot hit the hallway he heard people laughing along to the music playing in the kitchen and decided to release his nerves and walk quickly over. He almost jogged down the hall and turned the corner to see a group of guys, around his age sitting and chatting.</p><p>"Hey! Come on over and sit." One of them beckoned, and Louis did as he was told with a smile on his face and sat within the group. There were three bigger couches and then tons of bean bag chairs for them to find, but Louis sat himself on the soft carpet next to another boy and crossed his legs.</p><p>And that's when he saw him.</p><p>And he thought, he must've been dreaming or something.</p><p>
  <em>But this couldn't be right, could it? There's no way that fate would play this card of that boy being sat in front of him at the X Factor audition house.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What are the odds of that happening?</em>
</p><p>But he knew that he recognized those eyes that locked with his that day of his performance as they scanned the crowd. He recognized the curls that fell to the front of his forehead. He recognized the smile that the boy gave to the friend next to him as he continued to not notice Louis' looking at him.</p><p>Most importantly, he recognized how the butterflies in his stomach seemed to triple in size almost making it uncomfortable to sit still.</p><p>
  <em>This was..going to be fun.</em>
</p><p>A/N<br/>The odds of them meeting is on some REAL SOUL MATE SHIT.</p><p>Ugh I can't wait to write their first meeting.</p><p>or to develop them as characters</p><p>Or just EVERYTHING FOR THIS BOOK!!</p><p>I'm excited, can you tell?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Oops + Hi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Harrys POV*</p><p>The Elvis song rang loudly, and Harry quickly rolled over in bed and turned it off. He had already been lying in bed staring at his ceiling for a while out of pure excitement for the day ahead.</p><p>After turning to see the clock reading seven in the morning, he stretched out and he sat up in the white sheets of the bed. His warm pajama pants clung to his legs as they wrapped around the blankets in his restless sleep. He silently wished he would've taken the sleeping pills his mom had suggested he bring now that he was running on less than five hours of rest.</p><p>He put in his headphones and began listening to his favorite playlist, one that his friend had made, and took some steady breaths in his bed. His sister and mom always told him how important it was to take a few seconds for himself at the beginning of the day, and though he sometimes found it to be a bit cheesy, as he did today he also tried to imagine all the things to come going perfectly right.</p><p>Yesterday had been a blast, and he had made some pretty good friends for the night although knew he still had people to meet. He was really consumed by a group of guys who were a bit younger like him, and they ended up leaving the main group to talk in his bedroom anyway. Harry enjoyed it, but as he heard the bigger group laughing in the living room he wished he could've been too places at once.</p><p>"Up! Up!" Someone said, tapping in his door twice along with their rhythmic wake up call. He assumed it to be one of the chaperones, and so he did as he was told and changed quickly into his outfit. He chose a white polo shirt with jeans and a pair of black trainers, throwing his red cardigan into his bag just in case he became cold. He quickly threw his hair to the side with some hairspray, and then walked out to find some people already loading cars.</p><p>"Hey!" One of the boys he met yesterday said, running up to him excitedly. "Some of us are leaving now to get breakfast on the way, come with?"</p><p>Harry smiled and nodded at his new found friends, and followed them quickly into the car. He wished he had more time to meet everyone else, but he figured if it was meant to be he'd had tons of time to bound with everyone there as the competition progressed.</p><p>"Harry!" Another one of the mates said, tapping his seat next to him as they piled into the car. Harry climbed in and sat against the leather seat to see his driver from the day before behind the wheel.</p><p>"Morning, George!" Harry said as he lifted himself up off the seat and stuck his hand out to shake his. The driver chucked at him.</p><p>"Hi boy. Arent you a gentlemen!" He said with a bit of praise in his tone. Harry sat back and crossed his legs cooly in the middle of his two friends.</p><p>"Mama just raised me good is all!" He said putting his hands comically behind his head. They laughed with him and then his mates and him went on to talking about everything they were to expect. Harry felt himself shifting into the conversation, and tried to only add when it seemed necessary. He didn't like to over talk, and he was definitely careful not to say anything too out of character. He liked his group and didn't want to do anything to lose them, and that meant keeping his guard up and adapting.</p><p>"What are you most excited about, Harry?" His friend Andrew asked. Harry took in the situation quickly, and said the same as the rest of them had as he continued to shift into their patterns.</p><p>"To perform! I can't wait to go up and sing." He said, knowing that it was partially the truth, but mostly he was playing it safe. His real excitement was coming from the connections that he was making so early on. It made him feel good that these people already felt so attached to him, enough to want to ride in their own specific car together and not invite other contestants. Harry liked to feel special, and he was holding onto it.</p><p>As they drove through London, Harry let his gaze widen to take in the people he would see throughout the windows and on the streets. He kept himself engaged enough for his friends not to fall suspicious to his inattentiveness, but also fell into daydreaming about his adventures he hopes to have here in London.</p><p> </p><p>They pulled up to the arena through a back entrance that Harry would've never guessed to take. It seemed huge, and it made him feel annoyingly insignificant as they got out of the car and stared at its height. Harry wished he was not so prone to feel unimportant once he saw the big things of the world.</p><p>His friends ran in, practically clipping each other's heels at how tightly they stayed together and Harry was tempted to follow them. He was about to spring his step out, when he remembered his manners practically hearing his mother in his ear.</p><p>"Thank you for the drive." Harry said turning back around and shaking the drivers hand.</p><p>"You know, you're the second lad of this bunch to be so thankful. I appreciate your politeness." George said as he took Harry's hand in his own.</p><p>"And you're not clammy today! That's a good sign, Styles."</p><p>Harry let out a laugh that echoed into the large space. George smiled at him and then released him, additionally shooing him off and gesturing him to catch up with his friends.</p><p>Harry picked his heels up off the ground in excitement and ran towards the front entrance of the arena. As soon as he stepped in he was engulfed in a sea of ocean blue, and saw everyone gathering upon the stage. It reminded him sorta like a concert, and he didn't hesitate as he ran up to the stage to meet his mates.</p><p>"Where did you run off to?" Andrew asked him as Harry ran into his shoulder playfully. Harry shrugged feeling a bit embarrassed at his want to stop and thank their driver, feeling like his friends wouldn't find it very cool.</p><p>"Just went to the restroom is all." Harry said, and his friend let it go as they saw everyone start to form into groups at the sound of one of their coaches suggestions.</p><p>"Get organized for me, and quickly. We don't have too much time to waste today, so let's make it quick."</p><p>Harry replied instantly and found himself an organized spot within a window of the group. The director scanned over them quickly, and then separated them into smaller pairs to go and get vocally placed.</p><p>Harry had already gone through one audition, but it didn't mean that this one was any less terrifying. He felt a big more confidence in him knowing that he had friends by his side, but it still felt strange as he sang in front of people he'd only every dreamed about meeting and couldn't help but smile wildly.</p><p> </p><p>As he sang he felt his hands beginning to shake, and his palms get sweaty. He hated how nervous he tended to be, and honestly hated how heightened his general emotions were consistently. He felt like he was almost cursed with this intense way of processing absolutely everything within his own mind, and so as his hands shook and he tried to relax and take breaths into his rib cage.</p><p>"Good job Styles."</p><p>"We gotta work on the confidence."</p><p>"Good voice for so young. Let's work with it."</p><p>They told him, and Harry nodded. He had a few more days to prove to them that he was ready for what they were offering, and he was prepared to sacrifice whatever he had to for that. He gestured himself off the stage with a smile on his face to meet his friends.</p><p>"How was it?!" They both asked crowding him. He sorta wished they would back away, but he only sucked in a breath and dealt with it. He tended to like his own space when he was feeling nervous.</p><p>"I think it was okay." He said, continually pulling himself away from their bubble, but they only followed and continued to invade his. He let out a sigh as he thought of all the things he needed to improve on, and his friends looked at him with furrowed brows.</p><p>"You guys should go prepare for yours! Don't worry about me." Harry said happily, trying to pick up their moods. He didn't want them to feel so affected by his emotions, and honestly it sorta annoyed him that they were...He didn't want to be that person for them. He didn't feel like being responsible for anyone's emotions, he had enough of that back home.</p><p>"I think I'm going to to the toilets and get my head on straighter." Harry said, ruffling his curls and swooping them to the side. They both gave him large grins and nodded enthusiastically, and as Harry turned he was glad to have the alone time.</p><p>He walked through the arena, his ears being filled with people singing and warming up as well as chatter and gossip. There were groups of girls and boys, as well as some only paired up and some loners too. People were walking up and down constantly, so the clap of everyone's shoes echoed in his ear drums as well. Harry walked through feeling a bit self conscious as he was alone in a sea of people, but then reminded himself of how his friends had briefly annoyed him and found joy in it.</p><p>
  <em>There's tons of people here, you'll find friends you like in no time. He thought to himself as he pulled open the door of the loo.</em>
</p><p>He walked over and looked at himself in the mirror, leaning over the sink. His face was a bit rosy from the overwhelming feelings his friends had given him, and his eyes looked tired as he actually stared. He ran his fingers through his fringe like he tended to do when he wasn't feeling like himself, and leaned over to splash water onto his face.</p><p>"Cmon. You gotta be better than this." he said, as he felt his ribs taking in a shaky breath. He wasn't expecting to feel so much release from being alone finally, but he guessed it would be best for him to know he was in need for some quite time. Adjusting himself to fit people all the time was a challenge, but he couldn't seem to break the habit easily.</p><p>He turned over to face the silver stalls and decided to take a quick piss before returning to the audition. Just as he had pulled his zipper down, he heard the door open behind him.</p><p><em>Fuck. This is why I always pee in a stall...</em>He thought as the person stood at the only other urinal next to him. Without thinking he turned his head to familiarize himself with the other boy in the room, and his breathing stopped.</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It...there was no way.</em>
</p><p>And before he knew it, his mind had finally caught up to the situation and he noticed that he had turned ever so gently in his surprise towards the boy.</p><p>And in doing so.</p><p>He had completely and utterly embarrassed himself as a bit of his pee could now be seen collected next to the boys shoe.</p><p>
  <em>No. NO.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>ON THE BOYS SHOE?!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh God, Harry. This has to be nightmare.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pinch yourself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No you idiot! Turn around!</em>
</p><p>"Oops—Holy shit I am so sorry. So sorry sorry." He stammered out and composed himself to go and run and get paper towels awkwardly. His lengthy legs tripped over each other as his mind couldn't catch up with his movements.</p><p>He gathered paper towels from the side and then leaned over to clean the floor and the boys shoe all in a quick motion. The boy hadn't really done much of anything other than pull his zipper up and stand there with a slightly agape mouth and raised eyebrows.</p><p>
  <em>Great, you shocked him to death you idiot. He literally DIED OF SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT.</em>
</p><p>"Goddamit youve paralyzed him." Harry muttered to himself, still trying to clean everything up as quickly as he possibly could. Suddenly, just before he began considering flushing himself down the freaking toilet the boy let out a laugh.</p><p>Harry jolted up, and almost wished that he would've stayed silent. He didn't like the idea of this person laughing at him, let alone after he was feeling so terrible he wanted to rip his own hair out.</p><p>"Why are you laughing?!? I'm so embarrassed here! God I am so sorry."</p><p>The boy continued to laugh, with the sides of his eyes coming up and crinkling gently before he ended up closing them completely. His smile kinda looked like something Harry imagined in a artist gallery, it was so pretty and authentic. Harry had never really seen a smile like that.</p><p>The boy rolled his eyes in tease as he finally lowered himself down to a chuckle, looking at Harry through thick eyelashes and sticking his hand out.</p><p>"Hi."</p><p>
  <em>HOLY SHIT THIS WAS THE BOY. Harry had almost forgotten. YOU PEED ON THE BOY THAT ALSO CAUGHT YOU STARING AT HIM AT BATTLE OF THE BANDS.</em>
</p><p><em>Jesus christ universe, what are the odds?</em> Harry thought, furrowing his brows.</p><p>"Umm.. hello? Earth to curly head." The boy said waving his hand in front of Harry's face and smiling once again. A smile that Harry thought should ONLY belong in art or stories, because it had no place being that pretty in a restroom after being peed on.</p><p>"Holy shit sorry. I'm so sorry. God, I swear I know more vocabulary than just sorry." He rambled, throwing the paper towels he collected into the garbage and then facing the boy.</p><p>
  <em>Goddammit. That stupid look makes my heart beat fast.</em>
</p><p>"I promise I'm not always this painfully awkward. I'm actually quite charismatic so Ive been told-"</p><p>"Oh are you now?" The boy interrupted with tease in the question, and Harry physically palmed himself in the face.</p><p>"Not like that. I mean...kinda like that but it's not what it sounds like! I didn't mean for it to-"</p><p>And the boy began laughing again, only this time he brought his hand to his face to cover his grin and laughed behind it. Harry looked it him and his brows furrowed then turning into a smile as he shook his head.</p><p>"Why are you laughing! Shouldn't you be upset? I peed on your shoes!"</p><p>"Yeah, but you're kinda right. You're a little bit charming."</p><p>Harry lowered his eyes just like he remembered doing during the performance after they had seen each other. He doubted that this boy remembered him anyway, but he found himself drawn to him immediately.</p><p>"Uhm..Thanks." He managed to get out. "You're pretty nice for someone I basically just marked my territory on."</p><p>
  <em>Marked your territory?! Jesus Christ Harry. He thought, but the boy only laughed once again.</em>
</p><p>"Hey, itll happen to the best of us I guess. And your punishment has already been long enough since you seen standing there with your fly open this whole time."</p><p>Harry looked down to see his underwear peaking through his jeans, and honestly wished he would've just stayed in bed this morning. Or! Better yet, to have NEVER HAVE BEEN BORN.</p><p>"Fuck! Sorry." He said, as he turned around and pulled up this zipper with a small jump. The nice laughter echoed behind him, and he turned around and met the boys crinkled eyes.</p><p>And everything...kinda went quiet.</p><p>For one second, Harry could've sworn that there was no rustling outside the door. There was so singing. There was no chatter. There was no whirring of the air, or static from the intercom.</p><p>For one second, it was quiet. And Harry saw it in his eyes that the boy noticed it too.</p><p>"What's your name?" Harry asked, breaking the silence. It made him feel uncomfortable, even for the only small second it happened.</p><p>"Uhm-Louis. Louis Tomlinson." The boy said, and Harry immediately felt his shift in mannerisms from cheeky to being shy. He wondered if the strange silence had caused him to pull back.</p><p>"Im Harry. Harry Styles." He said, and he extended his hand, only to pull it back quickly feeling his face grow hot and his stomach churn.</p><p>"Sorry, let me wash them before." Harry said, and Louis only chuckled in agreement as they both turned to the sink and the only sound was the running of the water.</p><p>"Harry Styles huh? That sounds like a name made for stage." Louis said as they both dried their hands off. Harry blushed and smiled shyly.</p><p>"Hopefully. That's the plan."</p><p>"I heard your audition actually...watched—uhm—watched from the crowd. I think you're going to be amazing." Louis said, and Harry could've sworn his blood was cold till the moment he had heard those words come out of Louis' mouth.</p><p>"Thanks..Hopefully it'll work out well for both of us huh?" Harry replied, and he felt Louis' intention as he shifted toward the door and turned more boldly so Louis didn't feel like he had to make the decision to leave the space.</p><p>"Yeah. I just did mine, but I was nervous. My hands couldn't stop shaking." Louis said, as he looked to the ground.</p><p>"Oh my god, mine either!"</p><p>
  <em>Oh my god?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What Harry, are you a twelve year old girl?</em>
</p><p>"Haha, guess we're more alike than we think." Louis said, and smiled up in Harry's direction. The sound did the same thing as it disappeared with their eye contact, and Harry quickly pulled it away.</p><p>"I'm sure you were wonderful." Harry said, playing with his fingers as his hands intertwined, and he heard Louis exhale loudly.</p><p>"Well I know you were." Louis said, continuing to walk through the arena with Harry standing close to his side. He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket but ignored his friends as he looked at the boys side profile while he spoke.</p><p>"In fact, I took a picture with another boy earlier today because I was so sure they were going to make it...I have to same feeling about you." Louis said.</p><p>
  <em>God, okay just take my heart and crush it!!!!! Harry thought, feeling so much fondness in his chest it almost ached.</em>
</p><p>"Well, I have a feeling about you too if that makes you feel better." Harry blurted out.</p><p>Louis laughed, throwing his head back with it. "Yeah, it does, that yeah."</p><p>They continued walking and Harry could see his group gathered on the stage with some of the other contestants. Andrew was staring at his phone, no doubt waiting for a text back from Harry.</p><p>"Well, you might as well get back to your friends yeah?" Louis said smiling, and Harry turned to him abruptly.</p><p>"No, No! I mean...I don't have to go anywhere. Or you can come if you want, I mean only if you want of course you don't HAVE to it's just an offer but I don't wanna pressure you-"</p><p>"Do you ramble when your nervous?" He asked interrupting him.</p><p>"Sometimes." Harry admitted while he simultaneously bit his tongue to not ramble any longer.</p><p>"You don't have to be nervous, at least not right now. In fact! I have an idea."</p><p>Harry looked at him as he dug into his bag and took out a disposable camera.</p><p>"Take a photo with me." Louis stated, and Harry pulled his brows together in confusion.</p><p>"Uhm-sure alright." He said as Louis asked one of the girls close by to take their picture. Harry came closer to him and snaked his arm around his waist, then getting an idea.</p><p>He turned to face him, and he fought his excitement as they were closer than they had ever really been.</p><p>"I'll take the picture if you hang out with me tonight." Harry said, feeling a new found confidence from somewhere. Whatever it was coming from, he silently thanked.</p><p>"That's a pretty easy deal." Louis said smiling, agreeing to Harry's request. Harry smiled at him and then turned back around to have the photo taken.</p><p>"See you tonight?" Harry asked as he turned back to face him.</p><p>"Yeah absolutely. And now, when you're famous I can say I knew the one and only Harry Styles!" Louis said laughing, and Harry grinned widely at the comment.</p><p>"Great-I'm in room.."</p><p>"HARRY!"</p><p>He took a deep breath as he heard his name being called, and turned to see his friends beckoning for him to come over to them.</p><p>"Sorry I-"</p><p>"Don't worry. See you tonight?"</p><p>"Definitely!" Harry said as he waved and the jogged off to meet his friends on stage.</p><p>"How'd the auditions go?" He asked, and everyone spoke their grievances and goals as they rewinded the commentary in their heads.</p><p>"So, thinking we can having a truth or dare night. Everyone in?" Andrew asked with big wide eyes to the group, and they all agreed in glee except for Harry.</p><p>"Actually I can't.. I actually already have plans."</p><p>"What?! With who?! It's literally our second day here!" His friend asked, and Harry couldn't help but laugh and shake his head.</p><p>"I'll make sure to catch up with you guys later tonight, don't worry."</p><p>He was sure his time with Louis wouldn't be long anyway.</p><p>I mean, they barely knew each other, what would there be to do?</p><p>A/N<br/>My babies ❤️❤️</p><p>I spent all day character developing each of them and i couldn't be more happy.</p><p>hope everyone had a great day!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. X Factor Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Louis’ POV* </p><p>Louis was practically singing a song like a princess in his head as he watched Harry trot away towards his group. </p><p>Did he even recognize me from the shows? Louis thought to himself. He could've picked Harry out in any crowd after Battle of the Bands, but he looked pretty shocked to see him in the toilets. </p><p>He probably doesn't remember you silly. He probably looks at everyone like that, don't think too much into it. </p><p>He straightened himself out, and went off to sit and wait for the cars to begin their journey back to the living area. He had talked to some people last night, but he assumed them all to be auditioning, because he was mostly surrounded by girls who seemed a bit older than him. </p><p>He put his back against the wall and slid against it to sit, pulling out his phone and listening to music as he closed his eyes. He hadn't gotten the best sleep yesterday, partially because of the nerves but also because him and the other boys stayed up talking longer than he had realized. </p><p>Almost immediately after he had seen Harry sitting across from him yesterday night, Harry had gotten up and went off with two other boys into his room. Louis followed him with his eyes, but Harry didn't seem to pay any particular attention to him or anyone else. His eyes had been locked on his friends all night, and from the sound of it they also had a great time laughing about whatever they did. </p><p>Which was another reason why Louis was surprised at his offer to hang out tonight, he thought Harry would have all the friends he wanted by now...</p><p>Louis sat against the wall with one headphone in just in case he fell asleep and there was an important announcement. He would just die of embarrassment if someone had to wake him up, or worse if he missed the cars back. He decided to pull out his journal in attempt to stay alert, but as he did he turned his head up and found himself watching as Harry threw his head back in laughter on stage. </p><p>He was sweet. And he was completely correct when he had said he was charming. The way he was so frantic and shy made Louis feel comfortable around him, almost like they were more alike than either of them thought yet. Louis almost had felt confident talking him, even though that wasn't an emotion he typically felt himself. </p><p>He'd never really considered himself to be shy, but seeing some of these people and how easy it seemed for them to make friends and talk to others made him realize that maybe he was. He just found himself nervous to say the wrong thing and get ridiculed. He dealt enough with that from his schooling, and either way something really ached in him when he was ridiculed. He couldn't shake it off like most people, it tended to linger like a bad taste in his mouth. He caught himself sometimes refraining from saying too much because of it. </p><p>But, with Harry it had been different for some reason. </p><p>He furrowed his brows as he began writing in his journal. </p><p>07/21</p><p>Hey Lou. It's you again. We gotta go over something.. </p><p>The boy from the battle of bands, you've finally learned his name. It's Harry. Also, he peed on your shoe which was kinda terrible but also kinda hilarious. He is really charming, almost more than we'd previously imagined him to be. </p><p>Also something kinda strange happened too.. I mean other than the fact that he's literally here at the Xfactor the same time as you like seriously who is playing the board game of my life? </p><p>Anyway. </p><p>As you were talking to him, he looked at you and I SWEAR the world went dead for 0.2 seconds. I cant put a finger on what happened, or maybe I just lost my fucking hearing for a moment but man it was WEEIRRRD. I'm trying not to think about it too much. </p><p>Also, he invited you to hang out after auditions today, and this is just a reminder at how funny fate it. You never know where the tide will take you! </p><p>Also also, your auditions went okay. Your hands kept sweating, but they assured you that you sounded fine. You gotta let go of these nerves my boy! Cmon. This is your one shot. </p><p>Soon, he saw people beginning to go over all in one direction like a school of fish, and took it as a hint that the day was about finished and everyone was choosing their cars. He sighed to himself as he closed his journal and put his pen behind his ear, sorta wishing he had a car to go in but also liking the independence enough for it not to crush him completely like it may have used to. </p><p>He turned back to grab his bag from the floor, then suddenly twisting his hips back around to see Harry running towards him. </p><p>"You coming?" He asked with a huge grin covering his face, obviously also trying to catch his breath and lowering his face so Louis didn't catch him gasping for the air. </p><p> </p><p>"Coming where?" Louis asked confused. </p><p>Shouldn't he be with his friends? Also, why did he care if I came with him or not.. </p><p>"In my car with me silly! Come in the car with us..uhm if you want to of course. No pressure! If you're already going with..." Harry said, the last sentence coming out flushed and awkward with a tinge of shyness behind the previous confident exclamation. </p><p>"No, No! I'm not going with anyone. Also....you're rambling again. You don't have to be nervous with me, mate." Louis said smiling at him, and Harry once again averted his eyes. Louis had been seeing him so confident, especially with his friends, and so seeing his shy side was interesting to him. He wondered if he was actually truly shy on the inside.</p><p>"Sorry. Anyway, ride back with us? It'll be fun?" Harry asked, and Louis could tell by the muscles on the right side of his cheek that he was biting his tongue to prevent him from over talking. </p><p>"Alright. Race you there." Louis said, and got a pick up in his step as a head start with Harry following behind his heels laughing. Just as they were about to reach the door to leave the arena he felt his shirt pulled back and saw Harry rush past him.</p><p>"Hey! Cheater!" Louis yelled, then catching up to reach out for Harry's sweater and grabbing a handful of the red fabric and pulled him back while simultaneously launching himself into the door. He hit the metal with his palms and turned to see Harry losing his balance and falling on his butt. </p><p>They both laughed uncontrollably, and Louis leaned himself with his back against the door as he did while Harry stood to his feet and then hit the door with his hand as if it was a finish line. </p><p>"Guess you did win! But a cheeky one at that." He said as he continued to laugh. Louis noticed his lack of breath and smiled at the realization. </p><p>"Hold on! Right now when you went to get me...Did you run around to find me to make sure I was in your car?!" Louis asked adding a head tilt to his questioning stance while smiling. </p><p>"Uhm—" Harry said, putting his palm behind his neck and staring at his shoes again. "Yeah kinda. I wanted you to come with us, and I remembered seeing you sitting there anyway." </p><p>"Wow, stalker much?" Louis said with a grin, and Harry laughed and then put his hand out to lightly punch Louis in the arm. </p><p>Only...it accidentally opened the hinge of the door he was leaning on and Louis felt himself fall backwards, bracing himself for hitting against the pavement. </p><p>Some of the contestants that we're still waiting looked over to him quickly, but he jumped himself up and laughed along with Harry enough that they all turned around again. </p><p>"Guess it was payback for my pulling you the ground huh?" Louis said, dusting himself off, and Harry only shook his head in agreement before his comment was interrupted by a yell from one of the boys Louis recognized from his friend group. </p><p>"Let's go Harry!" He called, and Harry tilted his head over to the car gesturing for Louis to follow him. </p><p>"Guys this is Louis, Louis Tomlinson!" Harry said as he introduced him with his bubbly attitude that Louis had only seen a bit of. He had definitely seen it from afar, but the couple of times they had talked Harry had shown those shy tendencies Louis found to be so peculiar. </p><p>"Nice to meet you!" They both said excitedly, and shook his hand in theirs. Louis only smiled and averted his eyes. </p><p>His friends. Not yours Lou, and that's okay. Maybe they could be? Just try. </p><p>"Nice to meet you all too!" Louis said seconds later, then pulling in the car finding his seat next to Harry. </p><p>"So how'd your auditions go today?" Louis asked, and he felt Harry shift in the seat next to him to be comfortable. He seemed so cool as he did it, putting his elbows and his knees and moving his fringe over. Louis had to stop himself from staring at this sixteen year old who seemed to change his mood dependent on the person he was with...was he really that observant? So young? </p><p>They went on to talk about their auditions one by one, and Louis listened attentively only making a few jokes in between some of the conversation to lighten it. He tried to concentrate, but he found himself mostly observing Harry and his changes in body language each time someone spoke. During his friend Andrew, Harry had leaned back and let his shoulders drop while pushing his tongue against his front teeth in his mouth, which Louis found to make him look almost uninterested? Or maybe even upset...but that was a stretch. </p><p>Then as his other friend spoke, Louis noticed the same mannerisms. He began playing with his fingers slightly in his lap, and his jaw kept shifting back and forth showing he was thinking of something else. </p><p>It wasn't until Louis began talking that he immediately noticed the shift in Harry's body language. He sat up to face Louis, and even turned his head to listen to him attentively talk about his nerves and commentary. Louis noticed his eyes darting across his face in true active listening, and he almost felt himself shy at the attention he was receiving from him. </p><p>They pulled up to the house just as Louis finished talking about his experience, and Harry smiled at him as they piled out. </p><p>"Your face...it uhm.. it gets pink when youre nervous. Even when you're just story telling...like you can still feel the moment you were in." Harry said as he waited for Louis to hop out of the car and for his friends to go ahead of him. </p><p>"Yeah, well your body language was a dead giveaway you didn't give two shits about anyone's story in there but mine, mate." Louis said playfully, and he saw Harry crinkle his nose almost like an attempt to give him and extra second of thought as he scanned around Louis' face. </p><p>"I'm just saying about your story telling because that's how I am too. Almost like I can relive the emotions right then and there... Not sure why I told you that. Sorry I uhm-"</p><p>"Deep for a sixteen year old, aren't you?" </p><p>"Mum always said I was an old soul." Harry said smirking once again, and Louis laughed back. </p><p>"Jesus, well c'mon you old soul I want some dinner." </p><p>They walked up the warm tone steps and into the house to hear the immediate loudness of all the excitement. The energy in the room was high, and Louis found himself excited as he saw some of the boys he talked to last night for the first time all day.</p><p>"Come with me." Louis said, picking his step up as he jogged over to his friend. </p><p> </p><p>"Louis! What's up man? How's your day been?" Liam asked him, his serious face turning into a smile and extending his hand out for a fist bump to then pull him into a hug. </p><p>"Great great! But I've already talked loads about it. I wanna hear about yours! What's the verdict?" </p><p>Liam explained to him how he felt confident in his audition, and he was happy with the outcome. Louis smiled and his stomach tensed as he was both happy and nervous simultaneously at Liams answer. </p><p>"I saw your audition too man. Great job!" Liam said, gesturing to Harry who was standing next to him. Louis turned to face Harry as once again noticed that his attitude had changed ever so slightly. He was standing taller with his chest a bit more open, and his usual dorky smile was being replaced with a smirk that alternated between a grin and rolling his lips into his mouth. </p><p>"Thank you! I saw you on here before I was able to audition last year. You were great then, and I'm sure now you're going to be even greater." Harry replied nodding his head as well as smiling. Liam smiled wildly and shifted his body weight as he got more comfortable after the compliment. </p><p>"That's kind of you. Thanks. We're all gonna watch a movie today after dinner and you're welcome to join if you're not with the group playing the truth or dare or whatever is happening there."</p><p>"Yeah, we'll let you know." Louis said with a smile and then they waved bye to Liam as he went off to talk to another taller guy Louis remembered from last night too. </p><p>"What kinda food do you like?" Harry asked him. They started making their way through the crowd of people to get to the kitchen, getting stopped every so often to be asked about how their day was before Louis could even answer Harry's question about food. </p><p>Louis began to notice not only how charming Harry was, but also just how polite. Everyone that pulled him in had to be introduced and reference Louis before Harry would really start focusing on the conversation. If someone didn't, Louis noticed how Harry's eyes would run over his face until the person realized the distraction and asked who Louis was. </p><p>He really wants people to talk to me. That's interesting. Me? </p><p>Louis was feeling himself a bit insecure at all the attention from new people. Harry would carry most of the conversation from there which was nice, and Louis found himself letting him take the lead rather than potentially embarrassing himself in front of all these people. </p><p>"Well it was great to talk to you mate. See you later tonight." The boy told Harry, Louis didn't catch his name. </p><p>"Sure, maybe!" Harry replied as they walked away. Harry put his arm around Louis as they walked away. </p><p>"Keep your head down!" He said in an over exaggerated whisper. "Maybe we'll get something to eat today if we hide!" </p><p>Louis laughed as Harry released his arm from him and they finally made it into the kitchen. </p><p>"Hey! You never answered me, what kinda food do you like?" Harry asked him again, turning to face him. </p><p>"I'm kinda picky honestly.. I really like cereal? Does that count as a food?" Louis said, laughing through it. He had never really been into food, and annoyingly enough he considered himself picky since his mom would usually not make him eat anything too adventurous. </p><p>"Sure not a very nutritious one, but a food for sure!" Harry said agreeing. They both walked up the the buffet style food assortment and picked up sandwiches and chips. </p><p>"What about you? What's your favorite?" </p><p>"Uhm—I really like tacos. There's a place in my town that makes good ones. Oh! And I love bread. I work in a bakery back home." </p><p>As Harry said that, Louis noticed himself become smug and smile. He lifted his back to be a bit straighter, and grinned at the memory. </p><p>They got their food and then scanned a place to sit down. Louis saw Harry looking around quickly, his eyes landed on his friends. </p><p>"Mind if we eat in your room?" Harry said. </p><p>Is he embarrassed of me or what?  Louis thought. </p><p>"Uhm, mines a bit of a mess. You'll have to let me clean it before we go in." </p><p>Harry laughed and just shook his head as he gestured for Louis to follow him quickly down the hall.</p><p>"We'll just go into mine then." He said, and balanced his plate against his forearm as he turned the knob and opened the room. Other than the bed being unmade it was quite tidy, and Louis was shocked at how although Harry was younger than him, he seemed so mature. So...grounded? </p><p>"So tell me more about this bakery of yours you seem to be so proud of." Louis said as he sat cross legged on the floor and put a chip in his mouth. He was admiring the fact that he could hear the chip crunch, because it meant he finally felt some silence after the long day. </p><p>Harry smiled down at him for a moment, before putting his own food down and sitting cross legged in front of him. </p><p> </p><p>"You know there's a desk over there." Louis said, his mouth full of chips as he tilted his head back to gesture it. "You don't have to sit on the floor just because I am." </p><p>"You think i'm going to let my guest sit on the floor and I'm gonna stare down at you from a chair? C'mon! Who do you think I am?" Harry said laughing. </p><p>"Technically i'm not a guest, as this is my house as much as yours." Louis said smirking. "And also, I have no idea who I think you are! We just met!" </p><p>"You're right you're right. Okay so what about me...well-" </p><p>"No, I want to hear about the bakery!" Louis interrupted. He remembered how excited Harry had gotten after talking about it, and he knew it'd be a good place to start when he saw Harry turn to him and his eyes light up.</p><p>"So, I work in this bakery in my home town-" </p><p>"Which is?" </p><p>"Oh right! I live in St Holmes Chapel. Right outside of Manchester." </p><p>"Oh cool!" Louis responded. </p><p>"Not so much...it's kinda boring other than my few friends. And of course my bakery job, which I now circle back to." </p><p>"Ooh, circling back. Good technique." </p><p>"Thanks, I'm a great story telling, I know." Harry said narrowing his eyes and grinning. "ANYWAY, so I work there and my boss is pretty awesome. He is so nice to me, and always says I'm the most polite employee he has but I think he's lying..." </p><p>Wow, he talks really slow. Louis thought. I wonder if that's how you talk if you're confident in what you're saying..He always tended to speak too fast, mostly in an attempt to get over what he was talking about for the fear people would be uninterested. Harry didn't seem to have that problem, and obviously there was no reason he should. Louis liked it. </p><p>"...and then the day ends and sometimes if I'm lucky I get to take bread home! I feel kinda funny bringing it to my mum, and she'll laugh at me. But it's the best to eat with peanut butter." Harry said finishing his story, and the last bite of his sandwich. </p><p>"Sounds wonderful. We'll have to put your baking skills to the test one day." </p><p>"Do you like to cook, or bake or like..I guess what do you do for fun is what I'm asking?" Harry said, leaning back to put his weight on the palm of his hands now that he was done eating. </p><p>"I'm not much of cook no, in fact I'd probably burn most of what i'd try to cook. I really enjoy to sing with my band, and play a bit of piano every once and while. I guess I also like to journ-" </p><p>Louis stopped himself before he finished the sentence but he knew it was too late. Usually he didn't share that with people, since it was more private but he went with it. </p><p>"Like to journal." He finished, and Harry smiled and then abruptly got up. He scrambled to his backpack on the side of the room he threw it onto and then pulled out his own. It was brown leather, and it had scruff marks on it, Louis could tell it was well used. </p><p>Harry didn't say a work as he put his journal back in his bag, and Louis liked that they had kinda just exchanged a secret without having to say much of anything. Harry came and sat again next to Louis, watching him intently. </p><p>"Tell me more about yourself." Harry said, and Louis laughed at the confidence of the statement. </p><p>"Uhm—okay well. My middle name is William, bit of trivia for you! I live with my mom, step dad, and younger sisters and my hometown is Doncaster which I love... I went to school there and was kinda always getting in some sort of trouble for making too many jokes or being too disorganized.. Mum has had to bail me out more than a couple of times. I really like my school, and my friends are nice but sometimes I-" </p><p>You're rambling you idiot! Louis thought as he stopped talking and looked at Harry who had previously been smiling, but now had lightly scrunched his face up in confusion. </p><p>"Sometimes you....?" Harry asked questioningly, but Louis already felt like he'd taken too much of his time. </p><p>"What about you! Tell me about your school, you only talked about the bakery." </p><p>"Oh! Um sure. I went to school in St Holmes, and I would say i'm a pretty good student I guess? My mum was always really on top of me to be one...and my both my dad and stepdad really liked that I did well in school. I wanted to play bass, but ended up singing because my friends needed a singer for their band." </p><p>"Do you play any sports?" Louis asked, he couldn't imagine him not being good at basically everything. </p><p>"Not really. Some football, but nothing serious. I'm okay at it. What about you?" </p><p>"Yeah..I'm a pretty decent football player actually. Not to brag or anything." Louis said, flipping imaginary hair over his shoulder and earning a laugh from Harry. </p><p>They continued to talk about their friends, schools, and home towns. They also talked about their original auditions, and Louis was surprised that Harry had been so insanely nervous. Although he did read him as being a more gentle character, the nerves didn't click so much with him since Harry was so charismatic. </p><p>Turns out they had both come mostly with the help of their moms, and Louis realized how alike their family life actually was as they continued talking about the details. He noticed that although they shared, neither of them were too keen on talking about how their lives made them actually feel, which Louis was okay with. He didn't find it too easy to open up, so he was glad Harry didn't push it. </p><p>As they moved on to talk about their favorite bands, they heard the laughing outside for all the boys doing whatever they were. Louis had heard Harry's phone going off, but every time it did he had seemed to be annoyed with it so Louis decided not to push it too heavily. </p><p>Louis noticed the windows growing dimmer as him and Harry continued talking. He was worried all this time together would lead Harry to become uninterested in him, but it only seemed to get him more excited as he asked Louis endless amounts of questions. They shared their favorite funny videos as they laid on the floor, and laughed at footballers being overly dramatic at injuries. </p><p>They were just in the middle of exchanging stories about times they had pretended to be ill or hurt to get out of something through laughter when two knocks came on their door along with a "keep it down, curfew lads!" </p><p>Curfew? </p><p>Louis grabbed his phone to see two missed calls from his mom as eleven pm shined across the screen. </p><p>"Holy crap, we've been messing around for like four hours!" Louis said in shock. He immediately dialed his mom back, hoping she'd be awake. </p><p>"Thanks for tonight. See you tomorrow, yeah?" Louis said, still pressing the phone to his ear as it rang and giving Harry a quick distracted hug. </p><p>"Sure!" Harry answered as Louis closed the door behind him and heard his mom answer. </p><p>"Hi baby! Why so late? Are you alright?" </p><p>"Yeah! Sorry, I was with a friend and honestly just lost track of time." </p><p>"Ohhhh! A friend! Good, Boo! What's his name?" </p><p>"Harry." Louis replied, and he felt his body warm as he said it like the happiness of having a friend went all through his body. </p><p>A/N: </p><p>I had so much trouble finding good pictures of young liam to use, but that one ties it together for me haha! </p><p>Hope you guys are liking this so far. If you can leave a comment or a vote that would be amazing ❤️ </p><p>Either way, thank you!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. One Direction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Harry's Pov*</p><p>"Hurry up, let's get up now!" Harry heard coming from his closed door. He checked the clock to see it was already seven...how had it become that so quickly?</p><p>Him and Louis had stayed up talking last night, just like they had the previous one too. Harry really liked to be with him, and so they had been doing exactly that the whole time.</p><p>~ "You know, you're really observant. I've been noticing how you like to adjust just a little every time we're around someone new." Louis told him as they were laying down on the floor of Harry's room. They were sharing a soda that laid in between them, and the tip of Harry's shoe was touching Louis'.</p><p>"Yeah..I guess I've always been that way. Good at reading people I guess. It makes everything a lot easier to just adapt to what they kinda wanna hear."</p><p>"What if they wanna hear the real you?" Louis asked.</p><p>"Well, I guess they'll have to wait cause I don't think I even know what that is yet."</p><p>"I don't think anyone does.."</p><p>"I think you do."</p><p>"Oh god!" Louis exclaimed, sitting up and facing Harry. "You have no idea."</p><p>"You're right, but I wanna find out." Harry replied, and he saw Louis blush and then lay back down next to him placing his shoe to touch Harry's again.</p><p>"Harry?"</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"What can you read about me?" Louis asked.</p><p>And for a second, Harry hadn't really known how to answer. There was a lot he assumed, but every time he thought he got something Louis would only prove him incorrect.</p><p>"You're really very bright." Harry ended up saying confidently. "Like...I cant get anything past you. You noticed my adjustments to other people? It usually takes me having to tell someone I do that for them to notice. You're so smart."</p><p>"Smart? Not so much. But, I'm pretty observant too, I will agree. Maybe you've met your match!" Louis said laughing.</p><p>"Yeah..maybe." Harry answered looking up at the ceiling and feeling his shoe lightly trace Louis'. ~</p><p>Harry had become almost completely enamored with Louis just in the past forty-eight hours. As he did anything he thought about him, searched for him, and clung to him like flies to honey. They clicked so wonderfully, and Harry wondered if maybe the universe had been keeping his best friend from him this whole time. He had never clicked with anyone like this before.</p><p>In true fashion of the past two days, after he got ready Harry strolled down the hallway and knocked on Louis' door. He heard shuffling on the other side before he opened it looking a bit disheveled.</p><p>"Morning!" Harry said, walking in but only for Louis to put his hands up his chest to stop him.</p><p>"It's too messy in there. Let's just sit out here." Louis said, and Harry laughed.</p><p>"It's only been two days and you've already made a hurricane of your room?" He asked him.</p><p>"Hey! It takes a lot of hurricane to look this good." Louis said, gesturing to his outfit of a red beanie and neutral tone trousers and shirt.</p><p>"Well at least it worth it!" Harry replied, elbowing Louis gently as they both went and sat at a table in the dining room. Their friends surrounded them, but as he had basically disappeared for the past day and half they only nodded in reference to Harry.</p><p>"C'mon. Let's go get your cereal." Harry said, Louis walking behind him trying to take off the heels of his trainers by stepping on them until Harry turned in frustration.</p><p>"Quit it, you!" He yelled, jabbing Louis in the side and then bending over to slip his trainers back on. Louis laughed loudly as they got into the line.</p><p>Harry decided on eating some eggs on toast with baked beans, while Louis went straight for the cereal that basically tasted like dessert to Harry. He couldn't imagine eating that so early, and he rolled his eyes as he watched his friend sit down and eat almost like a little kid with his breakfast.</p><p>"Hold on you literally look like you're five, I have to take a video. Gimme a thumbs up or something!" Harry pleaded as he took out his phone and began recording. Louis looked up and him and did exactly that.</p><p> </p><p>"My Mums going to love this, i've been telling her how much you freakin' love cereal." Harry said laughing and clicking his keyboard excitedly to send it to her.</p><p>
  <strong>"Hey Mum!</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>This is my friend i've been telling you about. Told you he loved his cereal.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Miss you loads. Hopefully i'll text you tonight with good news.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Hugs."</strong>
</p><p>Just then the reality of the situation today kinda sunk into Harry, and he felt his chest and shoulders tighten up and tried to swallow down the bite of egg he just took.</p><p>"What's wrong? You okay?" Louis said, wiping his mouth with his napkin and looking at Harry with concerned eyes.</p><p>"Just suddenly got nervous." Harry said, then shaking his head quickly to follow by wiggling his toes and fingers. "Just gotta shake it off, I can't go in feeling like this anyway so best for me to let it go now."</p><p>"I mean..it's okay to feel things? You don't have to worry about like annoying me or anything with your feelings."</p><p>How the fuck would he know that Harry was worried about being a nuisance with his emotions? Harry had sometimes worried about bothering people with them but he was barely figuring that out himself...let alone ready for it to be perceived by someone else.</p><p>"M'not nervous about annoying you. I know I wouldn't, and that's not my style anyway. To be nervous about anything." Harry replied, pushing aside his feelings of being shocked at Louis' observant nature. He didn't like that he had gotten under his skin so quickly and saw his personality, and so he denied it trying to cover up his obvious fences that he built up.</p><p>"You're being defensive, I can tell by the way you clenched your chest in. It's okay to not want to share, but whether you notice it or not mate..don't worry. You really wouldn't annoy me." Louis said as he smirked, and Harry narrowed his eyes at him playfully.</p><p>"Can you quit it? Stop trying to read me. You'll have enough time later!" Harry said laughing and throwing a piece of toast in Louis' direction for it to land in his cereal and splash milk on the table. Harry covered his open mouth with his palm and Louis just sat there with playfully narrowed eyes and his own jaw hanging down.</p><p>"Oh you are so lucky we'd risk getting thrown out right now! Food fights are my middle name. Got suspended twice for them." Louis said, then grabbing a piece of dry cereal and chucking it lightly into Harry's hair.</p><p>"I'll get you another don't get your panties in a twist." Harry said and got up to go fill another bowl with the chocolate cereal Louis liked as Louis got a paper towel and soaked up the mess.</p><p>"Morning, Harry." He heard as the cereal collected in the bowl. He turned to see Liam standing there grinning. Harry had to admit that Liam honestly intimidated the crap out of him, and as he got the cereal he consciously tried to stand up a bit straighter to not look so meek.</p><p>"Morning! Excited for the day?" Harry asked as he poured the milk over Louis' cereal for him. It smelled sweet as he did so.</p><p>"For sure. Good luck man! Hopefully we both get to move to the new house tonight." Liam said crossing his fingers and giving Harry a smile. Harry nodded agreeing and went off back to Louis with cereal in hand.</p><p>"Now hurry up, we have cars to catch for today." Harry said, and Louis nodded and slurped up his breakfast in, what looked like to Harry, maybe four gulps. Harry leaned over and got both their plates and threw them away, turning to see Louis smiling at him.</p><p>"What a gentleman." Louis said.</p><p>"Mama raised me good, huh?"</p><p>They walked over to the doors, with not too many people around now. Harry checked his watch and saw that it was already eight o' three, and so technically they were late, but there was still one car waiting and they piled in with two other boys they didn't know.</p><p>"Can you believe tonight might be our last day? I mean....If we're not lucky." Louis asked Harry, turning over to face him.</p><p>"Don't think like that. It definitely won't be our last day, and for sure not yours." Harry replied.</p><p>"Nice of you, but let's be honest here you've definitely got it more than I do." Louis said, and Harry grimaced at him annoyed.</p><p>"Don't say shit like that again. I don't wanna hear it, especially coming from you. You're very talented, quit selling it short."</p><p>
  <em>He doesn't even know how smart he is. Does he seriously not see it? He literally thinks of everything. Harry thought.</em>
</p><p>"Thanks. If I make it back today, I'll buy you a drink or something." Louis said to Harry then turning abruptly. "Wait no! That's totally illegally. Never mind, sorry forgot you're basically still in diapers."</p><p>"No you can take that back!" Harry said raising his eyebrows and his finger to Louis' face.</p><p>"Sure I can." He replied matter-of-factly.</p><p>"No you can't." Harry said poking Louis side, and he laughed squirming away.</p><p>"Quit it, we're going to annoy the other passengers." Louis said, and Harry turned to see the two boys looking at them with raised eyebrows and tight lips.</p><p>"Sorry sorry." Harry said, feeling shy again.</p><p>They rode in silence for the rest of it, only waiting to start laughing loudly at the awkward moment in the car once they got off. Harry grabbed Louis by the hand and pulled him up and into the arena quickly, all the while Louis begging for his release.</p><p>"Oh C'mon! Embarrassed of me or something?" Harry said, still holding onto Louis' hand. It felt nice in his, mostly because it reminded him he had a friend here.</p><p>"No! That's you, not me." Louis said, again trying to pull his hand away from Harry's over dramatically.</p><p>"Don't you ever say that! I'm not embarrassed of you! What do I have to be embarrassed about? Other than your obsession with Toms of course." Harry said laughing, and Louis got loose and punched Harry in the stomach playfully before running off to the stage with Harry at his heels.</p><p>"Alright boys! Separate into two groups, last name A-G first and the G-Z next. You're going to learn some choreography and then we're gonna see how you do quickly after so make sure to pick it up. Hurry up now!" Their coach yelled, and Harry scrambled behind Louis to get into the second group.</p><p>The day went by in a gust as they auditioned and they each went off to meet with specific coaches. Harry was separated from Louis for most of the day after the initial dance rehearsal, and it made him feel odd. It had only been a day and a half, but he almost had already gotten used to him there.</p><p>He hadn't seemed to be able to find him throughout the afternoon, but they kept him busy enough to his relief. They all auditioned with their dancing, and then moved into the singing round quickly, which Harry thought he did well in.</p><p>After his own audition Harry found himself really wanting to find Louis, and getting frustrated at the fact that he couldn't seem to. He scanned around and searched for him but to no success, so he began walking around the arena until he saw him in his red beanie from a distance talking to a taller girl. He was so excited that he ended up jogging over and completely running into him, almost toppling Louis over with the impact of his hug.</p><p>"Jesus! What's that for?" Louis said, regaining his balance. The girl lifted her arm in a polite goodbye as she saw Louis completely turn his attention to Harry.</p><p>"I had my audition! I think it actually went okay. What do you think about yours?? How did it go?" Harry asked feeling like an excited puppy after not seeing Louis for the whole day. They were still embracing through the conversation so far.</p><p>Louis put his hand on Harry's back and tapped it gently as he wrapped his arms around him again.</p><p>"It was good. I think I did okay. I...uhm...I kinda missed you all day. I looked for you! But I couldn't find you, and I asked around but people hadn't seemed to see you either and so-" Louis said, then pulling away with his sudden stop in conversation and facing Harry for a moment before averting his eyes. Harry put his finger under Louis' chin so he looked up at him again.</p><p>"Hey, don't be weird about it. I missed you too. You don't have to get nervous. To quote you: "Not with me."" Harry said, putting quotation marks up with his hands. Louis smiled and Harry jumped into his arms again happily. He smelled like drugstore shampoo and cologne, and Harry couldn't help but breathe it in.</p><p>"You smell good." Harry blurted out.</p><p>
  <em>WHAT THE FUCK YOU IDIOT?! Are you kidding?! He was just starting to open up to you and now he was going to think you're a freak who smells him!</em>
</p><p>As Harry felt like he wished he was climbing into a hole never to come out again trying to pull away, Louis held onto him tighter and laughed.</p><p>"You too." He said, and Harry could've sworn his stomach did backflips but tried to ignore it.</p><p>
  <em>Just nerves. Don't think about it.</em>
</p><p>"Do you wanna come sit with me? we can wait for results together if you want!" Louis asked him, finally letting go of their hug.</p><p>
  <em>Of course you idiot. Harry thought.</em>
</p><p>"Yeah, i'd love to."</p><p>Harry followed him down to some tables that were set up outside with snacks. It was about one, and they both quickly realized how hungry they were and grabbed some things before sitting down.</p><p>"So, how did it go for you?" Louis asked him. He opened the small container of nuts that they had and started popping them into his mouth.</p><p>"Fine. I feel frustrated because I keep getting so nervous, and I'm not too used to the feeling."</p><p>"Oh God, join the club hot stuff."</p><p>"Oh you think i'm hot?" Harry replied, wiggling his eyes at Louis.</p><p>"Only when you do that little thing with your eyes."</p><p>"What?? What little thing?" Harry asked leaning into Louis to stare and him intently, opening his eyes huge to tease him.</p><p>"The stupid thing you do whenever you think Im not looking!" Louis said laughing and leaning back.</p><p>What? What little thing..</p><p>"You're going to have to give me some more detail here Tomlinson.  Don't make me throw this granola bar at you." he said twirling it in between his fingers.</p><p>"You do this thing sometimes..FUCK! I shouldn't have brought it up I'm embarrassed!" Louis exclaimed and threw his head down into his hands on the table. Harry leaned over it and lifted his chin up for the second time today.</p><p> </p><p>"Tell me!!!" He whined, and Louis once again backed away and scrunched his nose in embarrassment. Harry felt his face was hot even from the small touch under his chin.</p><p>"Sometimes, when you think i'm not looking at you you'll turn to me and you kinda...you kinda exhale and your eyes drop a bit on the sides. You're always so alert, I'm assuming since you're observant, but sometimes you'll let them fall slightly at least with me. It makes me feel like youre comfortable with me..." Louis said, then turning away to face away from Harry.</p><p>"Quit turning your face around! I'm tired of grabbing it." Harry said smirking but also seriously, and Louis looked up at him.</p><p>
  <em>Wow, he has such pretty eyes. Why had I never noticed that before?</em>
</p><p>"I shouldn't have said anything, sorry. Forget it." Louis said, trying to laugh it off but Harry laughed with him only to deny the request.</p><p>"No no no no. You're right Louis, I am comfortable with you...and even though I kinda hate that you already seem to know me so well I also kinda like it too."</p><p>"Well I kinda like it too..too." Louis said, and him and Harry looked at each other for a moment until Harry felt his own cheeks getting pink and turned away.</p><p>"So, how was your audition?" Harry asked changing the subject, and Louis went on to talk.</p><p>After what seemed like only moments with Louis but hours of waiting anxiously, they announced that they needed all male contestants to the stage and Harry felt himself shaking in the knees.</p><p>They went back into the arena, Louis following Harry closely and they walked on stage for it to begin immediately.</p><p> </p><p>Name, after name, after name. None of them Harry's. He shut his eyes in hope it would affect the results somehow.</p><p>
  <em>Oh C'mon. Please.</em>
</p><p>"John Wilding...Nicolo Festa... and lastly.. Paige Richardson."</p><p>Harry turned to look at the last contestant called, who just happened to be standing next to Louis. He felt his heart crush, and seeing Louis standing there with his chest collapsing into himself and his hands intertwined so tightly his knuckles were white, made it that much worse.</p><p>"Thank you to all of you. You can exit now if your name has not been called. If you've moved on please stay on stage." One of the judges called, and Harry turned his foot to exit solemnly.</p><p>Tears began filling the room. Harry couldn't help but think of all the ways he could've done things better, but he tried not to let it show it was eating him alive as he stepped off.</p><p>People began their goodbye interviews, Harry included. He wasn't in the mood for it and couldn't get through much of it anyway as tears began filling his eyes but he wanted to try his best to have one last moment on the show.</p><p>His heart ached so much he felt his breathing hitch, and his throat burned as he tried to swallow his tears.</p><p>Few more years experience, is what I need. I knew I was too young for this, God how could I be so stupid to think I would make it through? Harry thought to himself as he tried to swallow the burn in this throat only to feel it move to his chest.</p><p>He wanted to find Louis. He wanted to feel better.</p><p>He found himself searching for him the crowded room anxiously. All of a sudden he found it impossible to relax knowing that Louis was away from him while they were both so upset.</p><p>He dragged himself around, finally seeing the red beanie walking to turn into a hallway, head hanging low, and hands balled up beside him as he held onto the fabric of his sweater. Almost like he was trying to hide himself.</p><p>"Lou!" He yelled, but he didn't turn around. Harry ran up behind him and grabbed his wrist to turn him.</p><p>Louis turned to looked at him, and it felt like time was a bit still for just a moment just like that day in the bathroom. Harry knitted his brows together and tilted his head as he saw how dreadfully sad Louis looked. His pretty eyes that Harry had just began to notice filled with tears, and suddenly his felt Louis' head against his shoulder in a hug.</p><p>There wasn't much to say, and so all Harry did was lightly hug him back. They weren't desperately grasping onto each other like Harry had imagined they would when he was trying to find Louis, but they were holding each other gently as if scared the other one was going to break.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Louis said into Harry's shoulder, and Harry breathed out a sigh.</p><p>"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything." He asked.</p><p>"I guess I'm just sorry it didn't work out. I've never had the best luck so I almost expected it, but I thought at least you'd go on....sorry I guess this isn't making anything much better." Louis said.</p><p>"It's okay. It is kinda, but don't say you expected me to go and not you. You're just wonderful, I think I was meant to meet you in a way.."</p><p>
  <em>Oh God, was that too much?</em>
</p><p>"Sorry. Was that overbearing?" Harry said as he continued to hold Louis, and based on his still place in Harry's arm Harry assumed it was fine.</p><p>"Not really. It would be if I didn't feel the same." Louis said giving a small laugh and then peeled himself away from Harry, looking at him with puffy eyes and a small smile.</p><p>"Boys! Are either of your Harry Styles or Louis Tomlinson?" A woman dressed in black said frantically.</p><p>"Uhm—I'm Louis and he's Harry." Louis asked looking confused, Harry was standing there in shock trying not to get his hopes up too high.</p><p>"They need you back on stage immediately. Hurry now!" She said, and Harry and Louis both ran outside and back to the side of the stage they had just left from.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe there had been a mistake? But what we're the odds of it being both you and Louis? But then again...the universe has been weird lately about you two. Maybe these are the odds.</em>
</p><p>They walked back on stage to meet three other boys who were standing there. One was one of them that had had difficult dancing today...</p><p>Zayn. Harry thought.</p><p>The other was a blonde boy Harry only recognized from the house. He hadn't seen much him around, and he wasn't familiar with his name either but gave him a light smile anyway.</p><p>The last was Liam?! Harry couldn't believe it. He had been so intimated by Liam this entire time, that standing next to him on stage had to mean a good thing. Harry walked over the end of the stage and stood next to the blonde boy, giving himself the furthest edge while Louis huddled into the middle of them all. A group of girls also huddled on his right, and he tried to avoid his assumptions as to not get his hopes up.</p><p>"Hello boys and girls." The woman judge began to say, and Harry felt his heart beat into his throat as he lightly pressed his nails into his palms.</p><p>"Judging by some of your faces I know this is hard, and we thought long and hard about you all as individuals and we just feel like you're too talented to let go of."</p><p>
  <em>Oh god, please get on with it I feel like I'm about to pass out. Harry thought.</em>
</p><p>"We think it would be a great idea." she continued. "To have two separate groups."</p><p>"We decided to put you both through the judges house." Simon said interrupting, and Harry's ears were suddenly overpowered by the squeaking from the girls next to him but he didn't care. He dropped down to his knees in emotion, becoming overwhelmed with happiness.</p><p>
  <em>You did it! You really did! They're going to give you a chance, Holy crap. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my GOD.</em>
</p><p>Then his brain went off like an alarm.</p><p><em>Holy shit! Louis! He thought,</em> and turned over quickly to see him with tears coming down his face. Harry ran up to him with full energy and Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck tightly.</p><p>"Holy fuck!" Harry said as they hugged and he lifted Louis off the floor. He felt Louis' weight come forward and couldn't help himself. He released one of his arms from Louis' torso to hike his legs up to his hips and Louis jumped into his arms.</p><p> </p><p>Harry soon realized what he had done and released Louis onto the floor smiling at him.</p><p>"Holy shit!" Louis said with a huge grin, grasping onto Harry's neck again. Harry inhaled the scent of his clean hair, and slowly moved them to the center of the stage, to meet the other boys in a group hug.</p><p> </p><p>"Boys, Girls. This is your life line." Simon said through all the excitement. "You're going to have to work ten, twelve, fourteen hours every single day and take this opportunity. You got a real shot here guys."</p><p>Harry couldn't help but feel elated as he stood there listening. He didn't care how much work it took, all that mattered was him standing there moving on through the X Factor.</p><p>
  <em>In a boy band?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You lucky ass boy. You better thank God tonight. He thought.</em>
</p><p>And as he looked to the side of him, and saw these four boys close to his age and looking just as excited as he was, he couldn't help but thank whatever energies in the universe blessed him in that very moment too.</p><p>It was a new start, and Harry hoped to the heavens it was a permanent one.</p><p>A/N</p><p>Yes!! Our boys are together. So excited. Rewatching that Larry clip always makes me sniffle.</p><p> </p><p>I have literally no plans this weekend so expect lots of updates! lol!</p><p>Thanks for your support :)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Friends first, Bandmates second</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>* Anything in italics is Louis' thoughts just incase that's not clear. *</p><p> </p><p>*Louis' POV*</p><p> </p><p>Louis couldn't wrap his mind around what had just happened. His head began to cloud up in absolute joy as he moved off the stage with his new bandmates?</p><p> </p><p><em>Holy. Fucking. Crap</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Mum!" Louis squealed into the phone as soon as he was able to get it out and dial the number.</p><p> </p><p>"You sound happy, that means good news! Tell me, what happened? How'd it go? What are you singing next week? God, we miss you so much. Absolutely so much Lou but I'm so happy you're going to judges houses. Tell me! What happened!" His mom said in his ear and Louis laughed as he tried to get a word in between the questions. The truth was, he missed her too but right now he was too excited to feel anything but that.</p><p> </p><p>"Mum I'm in a boy band! Like NSYNC from the states or like the Backstreet Boys! I can't even believe it. ME! They picked me!"</p><p> </p><p>"Louis that's amazing! And don't sound so surprised, you deserve this. Do you know any of the boys in the band or everyone's new to you?" She asked.</p><p> </p><p>"I know some of them. Liam? The boy I told you about that made it to judges house last year? Yeah he's there!"</p><p> </p><p>"That's awesome Boo!"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, and Harry. He's—uhm—He's a guy Ive met here. He's really great actually. We've been spending all night talking and-"</p><p> </p><p>"You? Staying up all night? That doesn't sound like my Lou....He must really be wonderful!"</p><p> </p><p>Louis smiled and then he turned and saw Harry also speaking loudly into his phone with a huge grin on his face. One of his hands was running through his hair, and he was talking excitedly barely able to keep still in one place.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. He is Mum. It's all wonderful!"</p><p> </p><p>They talked for a while longer, his Mum catching him up on the girls and then repeating everything he'd already known about staying safe and being polite. He only listened to her attentively, pretending he had thought of none of it, because he knew it would make her feel good.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll keep you updated on everything going on okay? I think I get to come home for a week or two before preparation so i'll see you soon anyway."</p><p> </p><p>"I hope so Boo. But! Have as much fun as you can okay?"</p><p> </p><p>"Deal. Love you Mum."</p><p> </p><p>"Love you more honey."</p><p> </p><p>"Love you MOST!"</p><p> </p><p>"Love you MORE THAN TOAST!" she said, and Louis could tell she was giggling on the other side of the phone as he hung up. He saw all of the boys, he was now meant to be with, either texting or talking still and so he walked towards Harry to be there as he finished.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Holy crap. You're in a band now. A band going on X Factor, to the judges house. What?!? You haven't even graduated high school and you're doing this. What. The. Fuck. It can't be real. Louis thought just in the span of walking over to Harry. His mind was going a million miles a second as he tried to come to terms that his life might be changed forever. With people like Harry and Liam in his band, he sorta felt like maybe this could be it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He got to standing in front of Harry and met his eyes as they lit up seeing him. Louis quickly walked forward and wrapped his arms around Harrys torso as his continued on the phone. Louis could feel his own fingertips touch each other as the resting against the small of Harry's back, and Harry laughed into the conversation and nuzzled himself into his chest.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah Gemma, that's right. Well, I think i'll get to see you before then anyway since I get to come home</p><p>for a week before we start rehearsals. Don't worry about me! I'm going fine. I've made friends." Harry said, and he tapped on Louis' chest as he said the word "friends", making Louis feel like there was heat generating from the specific spot.</p><p> </p><p>Louis heard mumbled talking on the other like that he couldn't quite make out.</p><p> </p><p>"Louis." Harry answered. "Yeah, we've been together a lot.—No don't worry!—Oh God gimme a break Gem.—I gotta go but I love you and Mum okay?—Okay. See you soon. Hugs." Harry hung up the phone and then wrapped himself around Louis, throwing his arms over his neck.</p><p> </p><p>"Can you believe it!!" Harry said, and Louis lifted him up a bit off his feet as they both grinned so wide it hurt their cheeks a bit.</p><p> </p><p>"No I honestly can't." Louis said into Harry's hair engulfing himself in the smell of oranges and cinnamon. Louis secretly wondered what cologne and shampoos he's used.</p><p> </p><p>"Boys!" They heard themselves get called through the muffling of their hair and shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh gosh, always killing the moment, arent they?" Harry said rolling his eyes and sighing loudly. He had pulled away but still left his arms on Louis' neck so they were inches from each other's face. Louis smiled widely letting his breaths escape from in between his teeth, and they both stayed there unconsciously for longer than expected until finally Louis' face grew hot and he released Harry.</p><p> </p><p>"Let's go see what they want." Louis said, and he couldn't help himself but brush his fingertips against Harry's as they began walking, sending shivers up his spine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"If you want to grab my hand, you can just ask!" Harry said playfully, and so Louis reached out and intertwined their fingers holding onto Harry comically tight.</p><p> </p><p>"You sure you want me to keep my hand in yours like this?" Louis teased, but he was also feeling his body become warm at the interlocking fingers.</p><p> </p><p>The way Harry's knuckles fit right in between his fingers, and his palm felt like a glove fitting into the crevices of Louis'. The way his thumb carried Louis', and held them tight together.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh God, you sound so cheesy. It's just a hand hold.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Just a funny hand hold.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I would. But Maybe loosen your grip a bit."</p><p>Harry said winking and sticking his tongue out at Louis. Louis dropped his jaw and then released his hand abruptly as he tried to pitch him in the side for his crude comment.</p><p> </p><p>"Lads! Come here, will you?" Liam called, and Harry realized they were all already gathered in front of one of the X Factor Team members except for Harry and Louis.</p><p> </p><p>They rushed over and took their places in the group, Louis wrapping his arm around Harry and Harry leaning his head on his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi boys. First, congratulations on the new band. Pretty awesome opportunity you have here, and you should take advantage of it." The lady began. Louis tried to listen but he was hyper focused on Harry's head nuzzled into the side of his arm that he was having a bit of trouble concentrated.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jesus Lou. That touched deprived? It's been a couple of weeks and you're losing your shit over a friend leaning his head on you?</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>"-But we think it would be best if you all decided on a place you could stay together, in hopes of becoming closer friends before performance. We really need that click from a band, and since you're all.." She looked over at Louis and Harry and paused for a second. "Well-mostly all are basically strangers-we think it would be great of you to stay together for the entire week or even two before rehearsal practice."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm down for it. I don't really mind!" Liam said, and he looked extremely excited over the whole thing.</p><p> </p><p>"Me neither. If I don't have to go all the way back to Ireland i'll be glad, I hate trains anyway." Niall agreed.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm cool too." Zayn said.</p><p> </p><p>Louis thought for a moment before answering. He had just told his mom how excited he was to see her and his family, and now he was going to spend the week with four guys he didn't even know?</p><p> </p><p>Well..more like three.</p><p> </p><p>Three guys he didn't know</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>If you say yes you'll get to spend the entire week with new friends, and you'll be able to spend time with Harry too.. Louis thought.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I'm in. My parents will be fine with it, I'm sure of it." Louis answered confidently even though he wasn't so much so.</p><p> </p><p>"If he's in then so am I!" Harry spoke up. "We can use my stepdads bungalow. He never uses it anyway, I'm sure he'd say yes."</p><p> </p><p>Harry then released himself from Louis' grasp and stood up straightly to pull his phone out.</p><p> </p><p>"In fact, I'll just call him right now. My mum said he was just at work, it's fine." Harry said, and the boys all nodded watching him attentively as he spoke on the phone, concluding with the confirmation of the bungalows vacancy.</p><p> </p><p>"Great, then that will work as long as all your families agree. Let us know as soon as possible if this works for you all, and we'll help convince them if needed. This is your real shot boys, don't risk anything." She said, before dismissing them and then going to talk to the girls who had also been formed today.</p><p> </p><p>"Uhm, maybe I should've asked this before but where is your dads bungalow?" Niall (was that his name?) asked Harry as they walked away and loaded into a remaining car.</p><p> </p><p>"It's in Cheshire. It's really nice too, super cozy. And I think it's only a three hour ride."</p><p> </p><p>"Which beats your nine hour one i'm sure." Liam said to Niall, and he agreed sighing loudly.</p><p> </p><p>"That train was hell. Two changing of carts. It took forever." Niall said annoyed, he then put his fingers making quotation marks. ""Safe, and fun traveling with Munich train system." Yeah right! I had as much fun as a drunk in a bar without Guinness."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh god, that is so Irish of you man." Zayn said laughing along with the comment.</p><p> </p><p>"You will all come to know that Ireland is the best country in the world. And produces the best people." Niall continued opening his arms and gesturing to himself.</p><p> </p><p>"You wish! Doncaster has you beat, no doubt in my mind." Louis said speaking up.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm gonna have to agree with Louis here. I've never met nice Irish people in my lifetime." Harry said, then putting his hand on Louis thigh and tapping it lightly to get his attention. Louis looked up at him to see his raised eyebrows and smirk as if to say "watch this."</p><p> </p><p>"And! You guys are literally no fun." Harry said, and all the boys laughed at Niall's quick head turn and immediate rant about how Irish people basically invented fun in every way and everyone else was simply jealous.</p><p> </p><p>They arrived at their house soon after, and walked in to see some boys crying as the packed their things and some rejoicing in their ability to go home. Louis kinda wished he was in the second category, but he thought it was a small price to pay for not being part of the first one.</p><p> </p><p>"What's your dads bungalow like?" Louis asked as him and Harry walked down the hall into Harry's room. Louis didn't get invited in, but he figured at this point it didn't really matter the invitation.</p><p> </p><p>"Stepdad." Harry said correcting him gently. "And it's pretty relaxed. Just like any other. It's one story, and really cozy inside. Usually we go for Christmas or little holidays when we want to feel special. It also has a pool! Which is honestly the best part."</p><p> </p><p>"Sounds awesome."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. So what's your home like?" Harry asked as he packed his things away. They had all spoken to their parents and decided it would just be better for them all to leave first thing in the morning.</p><p> </p><p>"Doncaster is great-"</p><p> </p><p>"Not your home town. Your hooome." Harry said, drawing out the last word and looking at him in the way Louis had stupidly blurt out he did this morning.</p><p> </p><p>"What, like my house?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. What's it like?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's just like any house..."</p><p> </p><p>"But like...what do you mean?"</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know..How does someone describe their house other that just rooms and kitchen."</p><p> </p><p>"What does it smell like in the morning?" Harry asked.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Huh. Interesting question. Honestly Harry it smells like my moms tea and hairspray...but you don't have to know that yet.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Oh God, Shakespeare much? Louis said speaking out. "What are you gonna write poems about how my house smelled?" Louis teased, and Harry blushed as he smiled.</p><p> </p><p>"You never know." Harry picked up the remainder of his clothes and closed his suitcase before sitting on the bed and facing Louis again. Louis knew it was going to take him much longer than Harry to pack.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, how about we save all the little details about my life for the bungalow?" Louis said, wanting to avoid the question. He felt uneasy over the fact that Harry wanted to know something so very specific. Was there a reason behind what his house smelled like in the mornings?</p><p> </p><p>"There's enough details for me to ask all night, but if you want to leave you definitely can. I don't want to pressure you or anything." Harry said, grinning in Louis' direction.</p><p> </p><p>"What did yours smell like?" Louis asked.</p><p> </p><p>Harry shook his head and hummed as if to say "no, no,no." before telling Louis he wasn't going to share anything person if Louis didn't.</p><p> </p><p>"Fine. What's impersonal then?" Louis asked, throwing himself on the bed next to Harry who was still sitting up.</p><p> </p><p>"What's the most played song on your playlist right now?" Harry asked, and Louis reached into his pocket to take out his phone before feeling his eyes covered and Harry's breath right on top of his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Without thinking or looking!" He exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I literally cannot think with you this close.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wait...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why can't I think when he's this close?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>God, put it away Louis. Answer the question</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay okay! Probably uhm...Probably Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers."</p><p> </p><p>Harry moved back to his original sitting position, taking his hands away from Louis' eyes and sitting again facing away from him with his feet on the ground.</p><p> </p><p>"What's yours?" Louis asked, and Harry smirked before turning forward and attempting to pull out his phone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is he just doing this so I have to lunge at him?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>No way. Get over yourself Louis</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Louis sat up in bed and threw his hands over Harry's eyes so he was sitting behind him with Harry leaning into his chest at the pull.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay...Uhm...it has to be Free Falling by John Mayer. Or Isn't She Lovely." He spoke, and Louis released his hands but instead of springing back up quickly, Harry stayed still leaning back onto Louis' chest.</p><p> </p><p>It was only then that Louis realized Harry was leaning on him in. And in between his legs.</p><p> </p><p><em>Why does it matter? It doesn't Louis. Get your head on straight</em>.</p><p> </p><p><em>Literally</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Harry stayed leaning into him for a while, and even began playing with Louis' fingers in his own. Louis stayed with his arms lightly wrapped around him, trying to control his heart rate from rising too quickly at the affection. He was seeming to lose track of time and Harry intertwined their fingers.</p><p> </p><p>If someone walked in right now they would talk about this shit for days. I can see it now! X Factor boys become friends but have the weirdest bromance ever! Louis thought.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you—uhm—are you always this affectionate with all your friends?" Louis asked him, feeling nervous as Harry rubbed his thumb up and down in their hand hold.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why the fuck can't I breathe right now? Relax Louis. It's fine. Everything's fine, what's wrong with you?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Oh..uhm yeah! I love physical affection. Is this, like, is this okay? Sorry I can get up." Harry answered, scooting himself off of Louis and back to his own side of the bed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It's totally okay but actually it's not because you make me nervous and I don't know why. Is that okay? For it not to be okay?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"It's not that, I honestly just need to pack that's why." Louis said trying to ignore his thoughts. He threw his legs to the side of the bed and stood up quickly.</p><p> </p><p><em>You gotta get outta here. He's too good at reading people for you to be in here right now</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay, well-uhm-do you need help packing?" Harry asked him following him to the door as Louis opened it to leave.</p><p> </p><p>"I should be good. I'll see you tomorrow." Louis said, and then quickly closed the door in hopes that Harry didn't see his heart basically beating out of his chest at a million miles an hour.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>If he's going to have this affect on you, you have to be aware of it before it starts. You can't get out of hand like that, he's too observant.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Louis went into his room to see an absolute mess, and began shoving everything into his suitcase quickly just wanting to go to bed. He felt like he had potentially fucked up the entire night by being weird about Harry laying on him, and now he was going to have to deal with himself for two weeks feeling cautious.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It's always your friends isn't it? You knew from the beginning that you thought he was cute, so why did you think being friends with him word work?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He shoved his pajamas into the front pocket of his suitcase.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Friends don't look at each other like how you look at him. You've always known that Lou. They don't bring up the changes in each other's eyes, and they most definitely don't have their friends smell memorized like they can't get out of an orange tree orchard.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He went into the restroom and decided to take a shower to clear his thoughts before putting his things in his suitcases for tomorrow. As he did he couldn't help but think about how he should be excited to spend time with the boys, but instead was feeling nervous.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's your friend. If you think of him like that, and don't read into anything more you'll have a better time. A safer time. Do that.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He washed his hair with a shampoo his mom had gotten him before leaving, and then hoped out of the shower and crossed the hall into his room with his bag of things to pack away.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Just a friend. No expectations Lou. You're going to end up disappointed.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Just as he was almost finishing up, he heard a light knock on the door. His watch clearly said it was after midnight, and so he was pretty shocked to open it and not see a chaperone standing there telling him to go to bed.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey!" Harry said standing there with his knees a bit turned in. He looked nervous.</p><p> </p><p>"Did I...Uhm..Did I scare you off today? I'm sorry if I did." Harry stood there with his hand rubbing the back of his neck and averting Louis' eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"What? Why would you scare me off? What did you even do?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Play dumb Louis. He probably isn't even thinking about the hug at all.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"So why'd you run off then?"</p><p> </p><p>"I told you Harry, I needed to pack."</p><p> </p><p>"So you actually did need to?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes? Why else would I have left?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hopefully you're a better actor than you look. Maybe all those classes paid off eventually.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"N...No reason. I'm just paranoid I guess. Can I come in?" Harry asked, and Louis turned back to see his room completely clean due to the packing so he really had no excuse to say no.</p><p> </p><p>"Sure." He said, opening his door wider for Harry to slide past him. Harry sprawled himself over the bed and Louis laughed taking his seat by the desk next to him.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, make yourself comfortable all you want!" Louis said through his laughter, and Harry only smiled and nodded thanking him.</p><p> </p><p>"So...What bonding stuff do you think we should do at the bungalow?" Harry asked him as he turned up and stared at the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Good, don't look at me it makes it easier.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Definitely movie night. Annddd swimming. We should night swim!" Louis offered, feeling more excited now than nervous as he thought of all the fun they were going to have.</p><p> </p><p>"That would be fun. What kinda movies should we watch?"</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe scary ones? But not too late. Maybe we could one scary and then a comedy." Louis replied.</p><p> </p><p>"That sounds fun. And I can ask my stepdad to buy us some beers, and he'll probably say yes. Not a ton, but he'll definitely get us some—like a couple for fun."</p><p> </p><p>"We should also do like card night, or like board games? That could be very bonding."</p><p> </p><p>"My dad has a ton of those! Charades are my favorite because I always win."</p><p> </p><p>"We'll see about that Styles. I am an actor you know." Louis teased, dusting off his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>"Well that's easy then, we'll just play on the same team." Harry said. "Unless you wanna play for both teams."</p><p> </p><p>Louis rolled his lips into his mouth quickly, trying to ignore the comment and act like it didn't affect him. After all, it didn't affect him. He was straight, there was no reason for it to.</p><p> </p><p>"Nah. I like to win too." Louis said looking over at Harry and winked.</p><p> </p><p>"Let's look up more things to do. We need like two weeks worth." Harry said, and so they both pulled out their phones and soon had multiple sleep over activities for themselves and their friends.</p><p> </p><p>"Holy crap! Louis you have to look at this one. Come over here." Harry said excitedly as he stared at his phone.</p><p> </p><p>"Just toss your phone to me!" Louis said.</p><p> </p><p>"No! Come look at it. There's enough room on this bed for the both of us, just come over here."</p><p> </p><p>Louis' stomach churned at the thought of being so close to Harry, but he ignored it. He was straight. There was no reason for any of his fears because he was.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He walked over and plopped next to Harry, feeling his cotton t-shirt rubbing against his exposed arm from the tank top he was wearing. Harry showed him a buffet of candy, and guessing from the picture it looked like a party of at least ten.</p><p> </p><p>"That would be way to much for us darling." Louis said laughing at the insane amount of sugar on the table. It was even too much for him.</p><p> </p><p>"But we could make it smaller! Oh Cmon. It'll be fun!" Harry said, then grabbing Louis' hand in his as he pleaded. Louis laughed in agreement, putting his hand back down to his side but Harry continued to grasp onto it.</p><p> </p><p>They laid there for a while, both of them breathing a bit more labored then usual as they stared at each other on the same bed.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you like holding my hand?" Harry asked him, and Louis felt himself get hot in his face but tried to play it down.</p><p> </p><p>"I like it as much as you do." He said hoping it avoided the question enough.</p><p> </p><p>"That doesn't tell me much about your own feelings though." Harry replied.</p><p> </p><p>"I thought we agreed on no detail talk until the bungalow?"</p><p> </p><p>"You liking holding my hand isn't a detail. It's a very important topic." Harry replied seriously.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's trying to kill me here. Do you think he's being serious? Or trying to make fun of you? Boost his ego? You have to tell the truth Louis. He'll know if you don't.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Then uhm—yeah. I guess I like holding your hand." Louis replied wishing he could cover his face from how pink it had gotten.</p><p> </p><p>"I like holding yours in mine."</p><p>Harry replied confidently. How was he so relaxed about this? He couldn't have feelings for Louis and say these things so relaxed. There was no way.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Friends, Louis. Just friends.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>"That's nice to know." was all Louis replied before peeling his hand out of Harry's and sitting back up on the bed.</p><p> </p><p>"You're so quick to hide what you're feeling. I think that's why I can't really read you too well." Harry said, and Louis turned to him seeing him laid on the bed on his back looking back at Louis.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. Got some walls you can't just see through huh?" Louis grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at Harry trying to lighten the mood. Harry laughed through his next comment.</p><p> </p><p>"That's okay. Everyone has them."</p><p> </p><p>"Not you."</p><p> </p><p>"You have no idea, Lou."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lou. I like that when he says it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"How are you so confident all the time? I need to learn from you." Louis said blurting it out.</p><p> </p><p>"M'not. In fact i'm practically shaking right now. I can feel it in my ribs."</p><p> </p><p>"What? What's making you nervous?"</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing in particular."</p><p> </p><p><em>Liar</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"You're lying. Tell me the truth." Louis said looking at Harry who began to laugh.</p><p> </p><p>"You first." Harry said through his cheeky smile.</p><p> </p><p>"The truth about what?" Louis asked.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know. Have you lied about anything?"</p><p> </p><p>"I've only told you the truth." Louis rebuttaled.</p><p> </p><p>"I guess avoidance and lying are different things so you're technically not wrong...well that's fine. If you must know, you make me nervous." Harry said.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why in the world would I make Harry Styles nervous? He's the most adaptable and confident person i've ever met.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Why would I make you nervous? If anything you should make me nervous. You have more talent in your finger than I do in my whole body." Louis asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Do not say that about yourself, especially in front of me. I've told you already that you sell yourself short."</p><p> </p><p>"What if everyone sells me too long and I sell myself the perfect amount of short?"</p><p> </p><p>"For someone so bright, you do tend to be so dense love. Let your guard down, you might see things you hadn't before." Harry said.</p><p> </p><p>"What's the suppose to mean?"</p><p> </p><p>"I should get going." Harry replied and began sitting himself up in bed and slipping on his slipper shoes. He swiftly stood up</p><p>getting his things and walked toward the door.</p><p> </p><p>"How are you so smooth? What do you mean i'm dense?" Louis asked as he followed him to it.</p><p> </p><p>Harry began turning the door of the knob and Louis grabbed the top of the door to keep it open as he stepped into the hall.</p><p> </p><p>"See you tomorrow?" Harry asked.</p><p> </p><p>"I guess. But if I die tonight you'll have to live with that the last thing you said to me of any value was so vague it might've been insulting!"</p><p> </p><p>Harry laughed loudly, then brought it down as he realized the time and rolled his eyes at Louis.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll see you tomorrow Lou."</p><p> </p><p>Harry began walking away, and Louis turned in frustration to close the door behind him when he heard footsteps coming back around.</p><p> </p><p>"Louis?" Harry asked, doing the thing with his eyes where they dropped in admiration of him.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p> </p><p>"I just can't imagine you dying and the "last thing I said to you to be so vague it's insulting"" Harry said mocking him and grinning.</p><p> </p><p>"If you've come to only mock me I invite you to go to your room before you annoy me!" Louis whispered in exasperation. Harry laughed and pulled Louis into a hug which he tightly wrapped around him.</p><p> </p><p>"Louis. I know I didn't know you last week...but now that this one is over I can't imagine not knowing you. Do you understand that?"</p><p> </p><p>The words made Louis' chest feel like there bricks laying upon it. He stayed wrapped in Harry's arms as he nodded along to comment. Harry chucked and pulled away so Louis could look at him and smile widely, enough to raise his eyebrows and crinkle his eyes almost shut.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't think we'll have to imagine a week we're not together for a long time if it makes you feel better." Louis replied.</p><p> </p><p>"Works for me!" Harry said, and then released Louis from the hug and walked off quickly into the hallway closing the door of his own room.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A whole two weeks with the boys and a whole two weeks with Harry?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Also. WHAT JUST HAPPENED.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You need to go to bed Louis.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A/N</p><p>I love Louis. He's so dorky and sweet to the whole the thing.</p><p> </p><p>There had to be a reason for Louis to call Harry the flirt right? These are the reasons</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Can I get to Know you?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anything in Italics are Harry's thoughts, just incase that's not clear :)*</p><p> </p><p>*Harrys POV*</p><p> </p><p><em>Jesus Christ.</em> Harry thought to himself as he closed his door behind him and finally let his breathing go.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why can't he just say what he's feeling? God, it literally makes me feel like maybe I'm delusion. Maybe he's never liked me at all? But that comment he made about my eyes...and he didn't get weirded out when I told him he smelled nice. Then again, he did run out when I laid on him...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry leaned his head back against the door and sighed. He saw his clock flash one twenty-three am over it, and he groaned at the thought of waking up at six tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What the hell am I going to do? Keep pushing it? I mean, he seems interested sometimes but others it's like he can't wait to get away from me! What if you ruin the connection you've made because you're too eager Harry? Maybe you don't even like him...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He paused and laughed at himself.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Okay lying to yourself isnt the way out here.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But.. I have to let him make the first move from now on. I've shown him that I'm interested, he would be stupid to think I wasn't, and so now if he's interested in me then he would make the move.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>If only he wasn't so painfully shy about things.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>For now, it's just the waiting game.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He plopped onto his bed, already in his pajamas, and exhaled as he thought about what a whirl wind of a day this truly was. He had been so focused on Louis tonight that he hadn't even thought about the fact that he was literally in a band now; with guys he barely knew AND they were leaving in five hours to spend two weeks together.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn't stop himself from feeling like it all wasn't real enough as he stared into the ceiling. He had always been lucky, but this was more than just luck, he sorta felt like it was destiny.</p><p> </p><p>And maybe Louis was apart of the destiny?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God, go to bed you dumbass.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry curled over to the side pulling his white comforter over so it was nuzzled into his ears, and fell asleep thinking of blankets surrounding the bungalow living room, with his new friends talking into the night.</p><p> </p><p>**</p><p> </p><p>"Time to go!" He heard a familiar accent yell on top of his ear. He winced and shut his eyes tightly before feeling two hands cradle his face.</p><p> </p><p>"It's your fault for staying up! We gotta go Curly!" Louis said, coming closer to his face so his voice was right in his ear. Harry opened one eye slowly and saw him in a striped t-shirt, grey sweats, and a grey beanie that looked a lot like..</p><p> </p><p>"Is that my beanie?" Harry said, knitting his brows together and trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. You left it yesterday, I thought it'd be the least I could get for putting up with your riddle talk." Louis replied smiling.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>His smile is so cute, holy shit. The way his little cheeks float all the way up to crinkle his eyes..</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Focus</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"...And I didn't speak in any riddles! You're just too stubborn to figure them out." Harry replied, sitting up and turning off his real alarm as it rang through the room.</p><p> </p><p>"Telling me I need to figure them out means they were-in fact- riddles."</p><p> </p><p>Harry rolled his eyes fondly at Louis, but tried to hide is smile as best as he could.</p><p> </p><p>"Why do you have so much energy? You're not typically a morning person from what I know." Harry asked as Louis was standing up. Harry was still trying to let go of the exhaustion in his eyes as he looked at him at the edge of his bed.</p><p> </p><p>"Well maybe you don't know me at all! Now get up, I don't want to eat breakfast alone." Louis teased, then shuffled quickly out of the room with his own suitcase in hand. Harry shook his head and smiled as he quickly changed into his traveling outfit and shoved his pajamas in the front pocket of his suitcase.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as he brushed his teeth and washed his face, he went back and grabbed the bag to walked out of his temporary room, closing the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Time for the next thing I guess. That room felt entirely too short lived...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He found his seat at the table that had the chocolate cereal served on it, knowing exactly whose it was. It reminded him of something he needed to do, and he pulled out his phone and texted his stepdad as he waited for Louis to come to the table.</p><p> </p><p>"<strong>Hi,</strong></p><p>
  <strong>Missing you tons. Also, wondering if it's possible if we can get some chocolate cereal for the house for breakfast. We'll get the rest, but if you can leave that on the counter I would really love that and owe you one.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Thanks again for letting us use the bungalow. Train leaves at eight, so we'll be there around eleven thirty. Hope we get to see you guys.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Give Mum a hug for me."</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"You're not gonna eat anything? You really should. What do you want?" He heard as he sent his text to Robin. Louis stood there holding a glass of milk and a bagel spread with peanut butter and jelly.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh I'll get it, it's no big deal." Harry said, and he stood up and went to his usual breakfast of toast and eggs with orange juice. It was simple enough, but really liked the taste of orange juice specifically. It was one of those staples in his breakfast because it reminded him his mom, and he had been drinking it almost daily for as long as he could remember. Some people have a specific way they like their eggs, or coffee because it reminds them of how their mom made it...Harry liked orange juice.</p><p> </p><p>Every single year his mom would beg Harry and Gemma for a homemade orange cake by the two of them. They would run around the grocery store and search for the biggest oranges, and Harry would look up recipes for weeks to try and make it better every year. It always took a while, and looked like two kids made it, but his mom was always nice enough to agree that it was wonderful. Even if there was too much orange zest or frosting, she always liked it more each year.</p><p>They all held these memories close to them, Gemma having an orange on her silver bracelet and mom having one on a necklace she wore most days, and before Harry had left she had even given him an orange smelling oil from her favorite perfume store to remind him of her and Gemma. He loved it, and every morning he put it on behind his ears in hope to feel just a little less far from home. He thought about the moment he'd hopefully be able to buy her an orange cake every year for her birthday, and him and Gemma could stop fighting over how much zest to put on the top. It was a future memory that seemed so simple that he could reach it, and he liked that idea.</p><p> </p><p>As he brought his plate down to the table his phone began to vibrate. He took a large bite of toast and took it out to read the message.</p><p> </p><p>"<strong>Hey Bud, missing you lots too. Your mom more than anyone though, i'll make sure to give her that hug.</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Just chocolate cereal? We're also gonna leave some money in the cabinet on the furthest right side. I know you probably wouldn't want us to give it to you in front of your friends, so it'll be there but i'll make sure to get the cereal too. And your mom said she'll leave some orange juice and pop-tarts.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>We'll be here when you get to the house. Be safe on the trip.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>And Mom's asking for pictures of the boys, except for Louis, and their names so she can greet them politely since she hasn't seen them. (You know how she is.)</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Hugs. See you shortly."</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Who is it?" Louis asked with a mouthful of cereal leaning over trying to see Harry's text screen.</p><p> </p><p>"My stepdad. Just telling me he's happy to get to see us all once we get there."</p><p> </p><p>"You're so lucky to get to see you family even for a little" Louis said, and Harry could even see his spoon drooping sadly into his cereal as he thought of his family.</p><p> </p><p>"Was your mom upset over the extended stay?" Harry asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Not upset..but she's always saying how I'm one of her best friends so I know it's hard for her. She'll be alright though, she's a strong one."</p><p> </p><p>"It doesn't make it easier though."</p><p> </p><p>"That you're right about, it doesn't."</p><p> </p><p>They finished their breakfasts and grabbed their luggage to pile into the car for their way to the train station. Harry snapped pictures of all the boys (except for Louis who was quite flattered over the fact that his Mum already knew of him), and they all prepared for their travel.</p><p> </p><p>"God, I can't wait to sleep on the train. I'm so excited." Niall said, putting his head back to lean against the cushioned head rest.</p><p> </p><p>"Me neither, I don't think I slept a wink last night." Louis spoke up.</p><p> </p><p>"What? Why not?" Harry said with a whisper, turning his head quickly toward Louis. He didn't really notice it at the time, but his concern spilled out of his in the way he asked the question so intimately.</p><p> </p><p>"Uhm-I don't know. Just couldn't." Louis said, averting his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>We're in public. He's not going to tell me his whole night summary in front of people he doesn't know. Hell, i'll be lucky if he even tells me i'm private.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"So, what do we have planned for the two weeks? I have a couple of ideas!" Liam said with excitement in his voice, breaking the attention off Louis. Harry perked up and they all immediately began talking of all the fun things they could do while they were off the competition until they arrived at the station.</p><p> </p><p>Once they pulled in, Harry popped himself out of his seatbelt and rushed to the trunk to get both his and Louis' bag. Once Louis turned and saw him, he furrowed his forehead so it wrinkled up in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>"I can take it! It's not an issue darling." He said, reaching over to try and snatch his bag away from Harry, but he only pulled away.</p><p> </p><p>"It's alright. You can take mine into the bungalow."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Then, just in case we get close my Mum will already think you're incredibly polite and she'll love you for it and let me stay with you if I travel to see you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Am I thinking too far ahead?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Deal." Louis' voice broke through his thoughts, and they all walked through London station. Harry couldn't help but remember how terrified he felt coming here the first time for his audition, and now he almost felt confident walking through the airport with two huge luggage bags in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright, its train twenty-seven so let's find that and I'm sure they'll be boarding already." Liam said, and they followed his directions like baby ducks following their mom, and soon found themselves loading into a cart. It was a a Friday so it was busy enough that there only seemed to be single seats due to the fullness, but Harry didn't like the idea of sitting away from Louis. He quickly scrambled looking for two seats together and gestured Louis to join him when he did, seeing his eyes light up in response.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh thank God, I don't really like sitting alone." Louis said as he sat next to Harry and shoved his backpack in the overhead compartment.</p><p> </p><p>"Really? Why not?"</p><p> </p><p>"No one to sleep on." Louis said laughing, and then leaned his head to hover over Harry's shoulder before looking up at him through his dark eyelashes.</p><p> </p><p>"As long as that's okay?" He asked.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jesus Christ when you look at me like that, you could sit in my lap if you wanted to.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah yeah! That's—uhm—that's fine."</p><p> </p><p>Louis let out a giggle and snuggling into the crook in Harry's neck, followed by putting a headphone in his ear that Harry could hear vaguely through the speaker as he put his hands to his sides awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Would he want me to put my hand on his thigh? The possibility of him pulling away is also high if I move...But I think he would want me too. I'm just gonna do it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wait. No I can't because what if it's weird and then the bands energy is completely off because I ruined it by the train ride? I don't want to be responsible for that.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But then, the tension is too much! There's no way i'm crazy. He has to want this right?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And if he doesn't he'll shuffle away and we'll act like it never happened. Yeah. We'll do that. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry reached out and laid his hand on Louis' thigh reluctantly and Louis followed by snuggling in closer to him and putting his fingers on top of Harry's to hold them there.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh thank god.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Louis slept for a good portion of the ride, and Harry wanted to say that he listened to music and thought all these wonderful and deep thoughts...but he admitted that he mostly just thought himself into another dimension about this boy. He had slowly developed a crush he couldn't deny, and he knew it from when Louis jumped into his arms that day on the show and he couldn't seem to shake it out of him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maybe it's cause you're not meant to? I mean he's holding your hand as you cuddle on a public train...that's telling right? I'll get take it slow.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maybe he's just too nervous to say it out loud? But I guess so am I...But the clues are in the spaces right now and those spaces tend to be pretty loud.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>A little more than halfway through the ride, Louis fluttered his eyes open and peeled his warm cheek away from Harry's shoulder. Harry turned to him and saw a large red blotch on his cheek where he had just been laying, and his eyes were laced with sleep.He had to resist his urge to run his fingertips over his warm face.</p><p> </p><p>"Did you have a good nap?" Harry said laughing and keeping his hands back to himself, Louis rolled his eyes but then looked at him through his thick lashes.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm still tried, but I don't want to sleep too much or else I won't sleep tonight."</p><p> </p><p>Louis sat himself up and paused his music on his phone before turning back and smiling at Harry.</p><p> </p><p>"What is it?" Harry asked.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why is he looking at me like that?? He's so cute.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing. Honestly, you're just kinda pretty."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Gulp. Did he really just say that. Holy moly he really said that, okay okay play it cool.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Only kinda?" Harry said with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>"Fine Fine! Really pretty....And i'm still really tired and have probably said too much already." Louis averted his eyes and pulled away from Harry, all of sudden he felt the coldness of his skin after not having Louis there against him.</p><p> </p><p>"What music were you listening to?" Harry asked changing the subject to try and make Louis more comfortable.</p><p> </p><p>"I actually really like piano music for when I sleep, so I was just listening to that."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh wow, aren't you cultured?"</p><p> </p><p>"Not even in the slightest. Just have trouble sleeping sometimes."</p><p> </p><p>Harry sighed as he looked at him, and took in his tired puffy eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"You always have?" He asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Kinda. Since I was I kid. I always liked to stay up late, and wake up late because I loooove sleep." He said laughing and keeping eye contact with Harry.</p><p> </p><p><em>He doesn't even know how sweet he looks right now just waking up</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Why? Or like why do you think?" Harry asked him.</p><p> </p><p>"Uhm-when I was a kid I had nightmares. Like—uhm—like really bad ones, and they would keep me up. I guess now I just still suffer from it even though I don't get them."</p><p> </p><p>"What we're they about?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, just kid stuff. Dragons. Monsters. You know."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You're lying. But I don't know why... I can't tell you don't want to talk about it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Well i'm glad you don't get them anymore."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh yeah. Me too."</p><p> </p><p>They sat in silence as Harry pulled out his journal and wrote about the last couple of days. Maybe if he was lucky he'd get some good money for it one day in his famous days.</p><p> </p><p>They arrived the Cheshire around eleven, and all got off the train carrying their huge luggage. Harry ran and found them a cart for it all since he knew the station the best, and they all found the larger cab his parents had called for them to be taken over to the bungalow.</p><p> </p><p>"How's was the ride for you all?" Zayn asked them, looking exhausted as he loaded his suitcase into the back of the cabs trunk.</p><p> </p><p>"Louis slept most of the time, and I listened to music and read so I'd say pretty relaxing."</p><p> </p><p>"Niall also slept the whole time with his whole tongue hanging out like a dog! It was hilarious. I'm using those photos as blackmail." Zayn said laughing, and Niall got beet red as he lightly punched Zayn in the arm.</p><p> </p><p>"What about you Liam?" Louis asked and Liam told them how he had called his family members and then napped to new book he was listening to on his phone until he heard the conductor yell they had come into Cheshire.</p><p> </p><p>The cab they got was big enough for all of them, so they rode together for the short drive onto the outskirts of town. Harry was so excited to see his mom and stepdad, but he didn't want to make the other boys feel badly so he kept it to himself.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright. Here's your stop boys." Their driver said, and they all pulled out a few pounds to tip him before Harry shook his hand and they all unloaded their luggage.</p><p> </p><p>Harry stepped out to see Louis grabbing his black suitcase in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>"I was kidding love, you don't have to take my suitcase!" Harry said, trying to grab it from him. When he looked up Louis was flushed in his cheeks, and gave Harry an awkward smile as he clung onto the case.</p><p> </p><p>"No, I want to. And! It'll make me look polite to your Mum, wouldn't want to make a bad first impression." Louis said smirking again, and Harry thought it was funny that they had the same thought without even having to talk about it.</p><p> </p><p>"Fine. But just this once."</p><p> </p><p>The unloaded and began walking their way down the cobblestone sidewalk to the house in front of them.</p><p> </p><p>"Wow. Nice place!" Zayn said. The clouds were rolling in as usual in England, and it made the rustic red of the home look even nicer. Harry hadn't scene the place in a while since he usually only came with them for holidays, and so the front yard looked more amazing than usual with its green grass.</p><p> </p><p>"My Mum and stepdad are already inside, so we don't have to worry about a key." Harry said leading them all through the door.</p><p> </p><p>"Mum! Robin!" Harry called as they stepped into the house.</p><p> </p><p>It was exactly as Harry had described it, extremely cozy. It had tall grey walls and ceilings,and honestly looked like a house you would imagine your grandparents having with its neutral sofas and red cushions in the living room.</p><p> </p><p>"In here baby!" Harry heard his mom call.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God, she couldn't have picked a less embarrassing nick name for me?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>They walked towards her voice and over into the kitchen which was exactly like Harry remembered. It wood that didn't match the living room completely right that drove Robin nuts, and a huge window overlooking the big yard that they had. Harry remembered him and Gemma jumping in the trampoline and looking over to see his mom and Robin washing dishes from their dinner.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi Mum." Harry said, and he quickly dropped his luggage to the floor as she engulfed him into a hug and kissed his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>"Jesus Mum! In front of my friends? C'mon!" Harry said laughing, and then walked over to give Robin a hug as well.</p><p> </p><p>"She's only missed you son." Robin said, then tapping Harry's back lovingly before he pulled away.</p><p> </p><p>"Mom this is-"</p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry. I got this." She said then standing in front of boys who had aligned awkwardly in a straight line waiting for her response.</p><p> </p><p>"You must be Zayn. I see it in the eyes. Such pretty dark eyes!" She said, embracing Zayn in a hug which he returned through a large smile.</p><p> </p><p>“And you are definitely Niall. I would tell an Irish man anywhere!" She said happily, and Niall nodded before she pulled him into a hug and he smiled awkwardly as he was taken off guard.</p><p> </p><p>"And you're Liam. Liam with the side sweep!" She said gesturing to his hair, and Liam smiled as well then opening his arms for her hug too.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh and lastly, but certainly not least. You're the boy MY boy won't shut up about-"</p><p> </p><p>"Mum, can you try not to embarrass me into the next city PLEASE." Harry groaned, putting his face in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh whatever! It's fun anyway. Nice to meet you Louis Tomlinson." She said, pulling him into a tight hug and kissed his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>"It's good to meet you Mrs. Styles." He answered putting his head down to the floor and bringing one of his toes.</p><p> </p><p>"It's Anne. To all of you! And this is my husband, Robin Twist." She gestured toward him, then putting her small arm around his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>"Pleased to meet you all. Pleasure." He said. Harry went and stood next to Louis as they continued their chatting about their travel over, and finally the expectations they had for them staying in the bungalow together.</p><p> </p><p>"Now, we're only about forty minutes away from here so don't hesitate to call if you need anything. In addition to that, Robin's sister lives basically down the road. All the numbers you need will be on the kitchen table, and we'll be driving down here every other day to check on you boys, okay?"</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks Ms. Anne."</p><p>"Thank you so much."</p><p>"We appreciate it."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>They scattered their gratitude towards them.</p><p> </p><p>"Is there anything you need before we leave? Harry knows directions to the stores, and your coaches sent us money for cabs you can all use to get places. And like we said, we're very close by and Harry's aunt and uncle are down the road so there's no need to worry." His mom assured them, and they all shook their heads in comfort for their situation.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright, ask Harry for my number once we head out and let me know if I need to talk to any Mums or Pops. We'll see you all soon."</p><p> </p><p>Harry was sad to see his mom leaving so quickly, but he knew that the point of this trip was not to see her but to get close to his friends, so she was just doing the right thing. He gave her a big hug and kiss goodbye before they pulled out of the driveway and Harry turned to the boys in excitement.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, what should we do first?"</p><p> </p><p>A/N:</p><p>I always think I'm not gonna make these long and then I always do.</p><p> </p><p>Bungalow week will be in the making for the next upload :)</p><p> </p><p>Thank you all &lt;3</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Bungalow (1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Louis POV*</p><p> </p><p>Louis woke up on the couch with a fleece blanket thrown over his shoulders. No alarms, no noise. He only heard the sound of the wind coming from outside, and a clock ticking near the doorway as he reshuffled to be completely under the soft quilt. He turned and grabbed his phone to check the time, seeing it was five in the morning and threw his head back against his pillow in a silent groan.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God. You've never been a good sleeper, Lou.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He moved so he was laid with his back pressed against the seat cushions and his eyes looking up to the ceiling. They had stayed up till one messing around and talking, but Louis wasn't too surprised at his waking so early. He was used to not getting a lot of rest at this point anyway, he had kinda always been.</p><p> </p><p>He stared at the ceiling for a while, listening to the breathing of his friends surrounding him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I wish I was still tired..nobodys going to up for hours.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Well at least you have some time to yourself to think about what you're going do with</em> <em>Harry...</em></p><p> </p><p>He tried to roll back into bed, thinking about his situation with the boy. He felt like he was being more flirty, and had kinda come to terms that his crush wasn't going to just go away. It was all about reading Harry's actions, and so far they had been flirty too.</p><p> </p><p><em>They had been right? Louis, you're intuitive enough. Don't second guess yourself</em>.</p><p> </p><p>He tried to put himself back to sleep, but only stayed in the weird half-asleep state he always ended up hating so much. It always gave him nightmares that were too vivid for a public space, and that was not how he wanted to spend his first morning. Eventually he sat himself up in bed and rubbed his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"What are you doing up?"</p><p> </p><p>Louis gasped at the unexpected voice and laid his hand over his chest in shock. He heard Harry's giggle through his covered mouth as they tried to keep quiet.</p><p> </p><p>Louis gestured for him and Harry to leave the room as not to wake the other boys, and they tip toed out quietly hearing the small creeks below their bare feet of the wooden floors. Each time something creeked loudly Louis winced, hoping he wouldn't disturb the rest of his friends and Harry laughed silently at his overcaution.</p><p> </p><p>They finally got to the back door that was connected to the kitchen and they opened it to a patch of green field, accompanied by a trampoline, hammock and small pool. It was a larger backyard than Louis expected, and he couldn't help but let his mouth drop as he stepped his toes into the soft green grass.</p><p> </p><p>"Your bed head is cute." Harry said, and immediately Louis felt himself blush right down to his toes. He felt Harry bring his fingers up to his hair and fix the spiky parts, lingering there.</p><p> </p><p>"Your hair is soft." Harry said as he continued to run his hands through it, letting his whole palm gather his hair.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The butterflies in my stomach are going to eat right through it if you don't quit that.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah..but I bet yours is too. I'm nothing special."</p><p> </p><p>"Wanna find out?" Harry replied, taking his hand out of Louis' hair and leaning over as if to tell Louis to scratch his head.</p><p> </p><p>"Later, later." Louis replied. "What are you doing up so early?"</p><p> </p><p>He pulled away from Harry so they sat down at the edge of the doorsteps. He probably would've sat in the grass, but he saw the dew collected on it from the light rain that always seemed to plague their little corner of the world and thought it safer to sit on the step.</p><p> </p><p>"Just an earlier riser I guess. Been up for a while." Harry said.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's definitely lying. His voice is still raspy, almost like he had just woken up as well...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Do I need to tell you that I know you're lying?" Louis asked him, and Harry turned his face to smile at Louis after scratching at his nose in embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>"Why do you think I'm lying, Louis Tomlinson?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How does my name sound so different coming out of his mouth? That stupid raspy voice.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Because you have i-just-woke-up voice. It's deeper than usual, and it's also got more hoarseness to it than it usually does. ALSO, I couldn't imagine you just lying in bed waiting for someone else to wake up. You would've already been gone and done something. Too restless."</p><p> </p><p>Harry threw his head back and laughed at the comment, then clearing his throat from the apparent phlegm from his sleep.</p><p> </p><p>"How is it possible you already know me so well?"</p><p> </p><p>"How it possible you don't already know me so well?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh God, don't remind me. It's driving me nuts."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Driving him nuts? Why does he want to get to know you so badly anyway? It's not like you're being closed off...you've even accepted the crush at this point! You're making progress.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Yes. Yes you are Louis.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>"So you're saying I drive you nuts?" Louis teased.</p><p> </p><p>"Only because I so desperately want to know you and you keep giving me this film in front of your personality."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Too close. Too close. Change the subject back to him, he liked talking about him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Hey! Don't change the subject, Styles. Why were you awake?"</p><p> </p><p>Harry turned away from him, and Louis saw his knees slowly come together in a shy manner.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh C'mon! Tell me. You can trust meeeeeee." Louis said, bringing his face close to Harry's and shaking it happily as he drew out the last word. Harry tucked his head sideways into his own shoulder as he giggled at Louis' closeness.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How is it possible for someone to be this cute? I just wanna throw myself onto his lap and run my fingers through his-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Fine! If you must know, I remembered you were an early riser. I knew none of the boys would be awake and so I just set my alarm for an early time too.."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's missing out on sleep right now for you, Louis. Holy shit, someone's literally choosing you over sleep.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Also...when did you tell him you were an early riser? I don't even remember that...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Why would you do that?" Louis said truly wondering. If he could sleep right now, he would. Why was Harry purposely making his body miserable just for him?</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know...I guess I just wanted to spend some time with you. And I remembered you said you had nightmares, and I wanted to make sure I was awake in case you got one. I know sleeping in a new place could maybe trigger them. I didn't want you to like—uhm—like wake up alone. Is that weird? I'm sorry."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He thought about you having nightmares, and stayed up for the remote possibility you would be uncomfortable.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is he trying to make my heart burst right out of my fucking chest?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"How do you know that?" Louis asked him, still avoiding his eyes in fear he would literally lose control and kiss him after his comment.</p><p> </p><p>"Know what?"</p><p> </p><p>"About the nightmares getting worse in new places."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh! Uhm, My sister used to get nightmares as kid...they were always worse when we traveled. She had some anxiety back then, she kinda still does."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was so nice. So freakin nice.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Really? We're they really bad?"</p><p> </p><p>"Not too much. But enough that I got familiar with them if she needed the help."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And now you're part of people he wants to help. He stayed up for you. Holy crap.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Well. Thank you Harry. That's really nice of you....To stay up for and with me. I really like that you're here right now. I usually spend my mornings alone since nightmares are one of my details."</p><p> </p><p>"Your details?" Harry asked, meeting Louis' eyes again before they both turned quickly away.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. Remember?" Louis said picking at his sweat pants with one hand. "I told you I'd show you some of my details at the bungalow. This is one of mine."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can't believe he's pulling this out of you Louis. He just makes everything seem so warm and safe. How does he do that?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want to maybe tell me another one?" Harry asked, leaning back and letting his fingertips lightly touch Louis' on the stone step. Louis kept them there, happy with the light touch.</p><p> </p><p>"You first."</p><p> </p><p>"But I don't have as many as you, I'll be done quicker."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, I'm sure you have tons. Tell me one. Please?"</p><p> </p><p>Harry paused for a minute, then letting out a dorky smile as he leaned over into his thighs using his elbows to keep him up. Louis found himself missing their fingertips brushing against each other, but brought his hands to his lap too.</p><p> </p><p>"Im trying to think of a better one, but all I got at the top of my head is that I'm actually afraid of snakes. Like terrified."</p><p> </p><p>"Seriously? I guess they're not the most pleasant by any means."</p><p> </p><p>"They are not! Their little noodle bodies freak me out." Harry said lightly shivering and making Louis laugh.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh he can't think that I would think that's the end of it would he? He's so dense sometimes. There's more to that then just their "noodle bodies"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"And..?" Louis pestered.</p><p> </p><p>"And what?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh Cmon, I know you're not scared for no reason. These are your details, it means they're secrets you don't always say out loud."</p><p> </p><p>Harry paused and shifted in his seat again, interlacing his hands together on his lap.</p><p> </p><p>"You can say them out loud to me." Louis said again, trying to comfort Harry as he looked a bit uncomfortable trying to retrieve the memory.</p><p> </p><p>"So, when I was younger my dad and I were camping with a couple of his friends, and one of the boys thought it would be funny to put a snake in my tent-"</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck? That's terrible."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah...well we had been hanging out through the day and he kept making fun of how nervous I was. I was having trouble walking up the rocks and stuff, or just keeping up with them in general. His dad and him thought it would be funny to try and scare it out of me, but when I walked into my tent I screamed so terribly my dad thought I had gotten bit. Luckily it was harmless, but he was so mad that we ended up leaving."</p><p> </p><p>"Good on your dad. I would hate if someone did that to my mom or my sisters or something. I would be pissed."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I was never really the outdoorsy type like that and so most of my dads friends would make fun of me since he was. He lost a lot of them because of that, always defending me. I guess now at least he doesn't have to deal with it because i'm gone."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sure he would rather you be there than having some toxic masculine friends. I think it's fine you don't like that stuff, there's nothing wrong with that."</p><p> </p><p>Harry looked at him fondly, letting his eyes drop on the sides and exhaling. Louis felt his stomach drop at the look.</p><p> </p><p>"What is it?" Louis asked him as Harry kept his eyes locked in his.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing. It's just....Words are different when you say them."</p><p> </p><p>"You're talking about me accent? I mean I GUESS! But you don't have to make fun of it you cheeky fucker!" Louis said, hitting Harry's arm lightly with his own while he laughed.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't mean you're accent, darling. I mean you say everything so effortlessly. Like there's no need for any harsh conviction, you're so honest you don't even have to try. I can feel you're not just telling me something to say it, it's like you actually believe it."</p><p> </p><p>"I mean, I do believe it."</p><p> </p><p>"I like that. You're honest. It's refreshing."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Honest? Harry doesn't even know the half of it. You're sitting here feeling like his words are basically laced in sugar from how much you crave them. You're the last thing but honest.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah...I try with most things."</p><p> </p><p>"What about the other things?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh god, not this early.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Alright, I think that's enough." Louis said standing up from the step. "You're gonna get bored of me by the time we leave this staycation."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh trust me, I'd never get bored of you." Harry said hoping up beside him and facing him.</p><p> </p><p>They stood facing each other, and Harry's eyes grazed over Louis' face. Louis felt his heart itching up his throat and swallowed forcefully.</p><p> </p><p>"What's wrong?" Louis asked him as Harry continued to stare at him intently.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing? Anything wrong with you?"</p><p> </p><p>"I can see your chest rising fast even when I'm staring at you. Why are you so nervous?" Louis asked him keeping his eyes locked on puffing out his lips as he breathed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Let him say it out loud. You know he wants to.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I told you already, you make me nervous." Harry replied</p><p> </p><p>"There's no reason for me to."</p><p> </p><p>"Well then stop looking at me like that, because it makes me nervous." Harry said with a giggle.</p><p> </p><p>Louis took his eyes from Harry and looked down onto the ground. The sun was barely starting to come up, and so he knew they still had a couple of hours before anyone was alive anyway, and he liked spending the time with Harry.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want to take a walk? The boys won't be up for hours anyway." Louis asked him.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh that's a good idea! The store is actually right down the road too so we can go and get some breakfast ingredients if you want."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh Jesus, I'm not a cook, Harry." Louis said laughing.</p><p> </p><p>It was true, his mom always did the cooking for him. It was sorta her way of taking care of him. He also thought that it was her way of feeling like their life was normal, to put a meal on the table rather than fast food. She never let Louis help at all, and therefore he had no real skills in it. He could barely crack an egg.</p><p> </p><p>"Well lucky for you, I am." Harry said smiling at him and winking.</p><p> </p><p>They snuck into the house quietly and Louis slipped on a pair of grey joggers, a green top and Harrys grey beanie he was still borrowing to cover his bed head. He was never good at doing his own hair anyway.</p><p> </p><p>After a bit of maneuvering to get around the sleeping bags and mattresses, Louis managed to also get himself to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face for the day. It was barely six thirty, so he wasn't worried about rushing. He was sure the boys wouldn't be up till after ten anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Harry knocked on the bathroom door to tell Louis he was ready, and so he gathered his things and threw them under the sick so it looked somewhat tidy. They again tip toed out of the house, this time walking through the front of the house.</p><p> </p><p>"I like my beanie on you." Harry said as he closed the door behind them.</p><p> </p><p>"It's only cute, cause it's yours." Louis replied.</p><p> </p><p>The sun had just come up so it felt cool outside as they stepped onto the sidewalk. There wasn't too much sun showing through the light grey clouds. It was always like this, but Louis liked it in a way. He liked the consistency.</p><p> </p><p>"So, what's your speciality Mr. Cook?" Louis asked as he threw a tote bag over his shoulder that Harry had given him for groceries.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I already got your chocolate cereal so-"</p><p> </p><p>"You what?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Did I hear that right?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I-I asked my stepdad to get your cereal. I know how picky you are, and in case we didn't go today to the store I wanted to make sure you had breakfast."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He literally thinks of you all the time, he even thought about your damn breakfast. He thought about your sleeping patterns. He thought about your eating patterns. Holy crap, you have to tell him you like him. This is the moment. He likes you Louis there's no doubt.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Say it. Say it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Harry I-"</p><p> </p><p>"It's not big deal. Don't worry about it." Harry said interrupting him. Louis could tell he was getting extremely shy about the fact he had thought of him so extensively.</p><p> </p><p>"No, Harry I-"</p><p> </p><p>"Can we drop it? I feel embarrassed about it actually. How about we talk about something else?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ugh.. Bad timing?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Sure, uhm yeah we can talk about something else. You know my favorite breakfast now...so what's yours?"</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm..I guess I'd have to say eggs and toast with beans. Oh, and orange juice. I love orange juice the most of all."</p><p> </p><p>"Why, orange juice?"</p><p> </p><p>"I just really like oranges."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That day that you smelt him in that hug...he smelt like orange and cinnamon. You couldn't get the smell out of your head for days.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"You smell like them." Louis blurted out. "Like oranges, I mean. When I hug you I can smell it all over your hair and skin, I remember from the first day of boot camp."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah." Harry nodded his head and put his finger behind his ear. "My mom gave me—wait. You remember how I smelt?"</p><p> </p><p><em>Dammit</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"I mean, an orange is a pretty distinct smell. I wouldn't just forget something like that."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I totally didn't imagine it every single night. There were definitely no big oranges running around in my dreams because I couldn't forget. No way! Not me!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry laughed, and it rang through the open space of the road like a melody. "Well, you smell like mint, and shampoo. That shampoo you have..it's really distinct. I like it. I could smell it even when I ran my fingers through your hair today."</p><p> </p><p>Louis tried to control the blood rushing to his face at the memory of Harry's nails grazing his scalp.</p><p> </p><p>"You're very touchy. I've noticed."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, and you're so shy about it. Did you want me to stop? Is this why you took me on this walk? So you could reject me in private?"</p><p> </p><p>Harry threw his hand over his heart, throwing his head back dramatically. It made for a good laugh, but through it all Louis could hear the nerves in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>As if i'd ever reject someone like you. Is he stupid?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"No, oh God no! I actually..uhm I actually really like it."</p><p> </p><p>"Do you now?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I do."</p><p> </p><p>"So can I grab your hand?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Please. Please grab it. I've been missing your fingertips since this morning on the step.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"If you want to, sure."</p><p> </p><p>"But do you want me to?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He wants you to be sure about it Louis. He's too polite to force anything on you. If this is ever going to go anywhere you need to be honest about it. Maybe he'll be honest about how he feels if you're lucky..</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I want you to."</p><p> </p><p>Harry reached out and interlaced his fingers with Louis. His hands were almost the size of Louis' even though they were much less slender. Although different, somehow they fit perfectly. This was one of the first times he had ever held hands with anyone, and the way it felt made him feel so steady but dizzy simultaneously.</p><p> </p><p>They got to the store, Harry not letting go of Louis' hand for dear life other than to open the door for him, and they picked out some basic things for everyone to enjoy. They both weren't sure of what the boys typically ate, but they made safe bets as they continued on back to the bungalow.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the day continued uneventfully. Once the boys woke up, Harry definitely tended to keep his distance more than he had when it was just the two of them. Louis missed the touch, but at the same time he was glad that they were being cautious around the boys. He didn't know what their views were, and he wanted to be friends with each of them before he became an annoying school girl making googley eyes at her crush all day.</p><p> </p><p>He found himself most attracted to Zayn out of the whole group, and it was obvious that Harry and Niall had made a connection too. They were all messing around with one another, talking about family and love life and school and it all in between. It seemed that before he knew it, it was already ten at night and he was growing tired since he had only slept for less that five hours anyway. They had agreed that tomorrow they would go into town and play football (which Louis was very excited about), but since it was the middle of the summer they were going to wake up early, meaning they called in for an early night.</p><p> </p><p>Louis felt his body fatigued from the entire day, yet once he laid himself down he couldn't help but not want to fall asleep. It was like his own mind was going against him, and he couldn't get himself to close his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn't had the nightmares he usually dealt with very frequently in a while, but they still came and yet every so often. Harry was right when he said that it was more likely to happen in new sleeping environments, and as Louis hadn't thought of that till now he was having an even more difficult time trying to get to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Surprisingly enough to him, he heard snoring surround him soon after they all turned off the TV and curled up in their spaces.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How do people fall asleep so fast? I'm so jealous.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He stared at the dark ceiling, with the only light coming in from the slightly open window on the far side of the room. He thought about how the moon never seemed to have to sleep, and how he envied it. He was silently wishing he never had to sleep himself when he heard his phone vibrate and he grabbed it in fear of the loud noise.</p><p> </p><p>"<strong>From: Harry Styles</strong></p><p>
  <strong>(1) Why are you still awake?"</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How in the hell would he know that? I'm literally being quiet as a fish over here in attempt to not disturb anyone.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>— "<strong>How did you know I'm still awake?"</strong></p><p> </p><p>*<strong>buzz*</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>"From Harry Styles:</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>(1) Lucky guess. Honestly I didn't, but I wanted to check on you."</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>(<strong>2) I assumed if you answered then i'd get my answer, and if you didn't then I would too. It was a win-win for me."</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>— "What does it matter if i'm awake or not?"</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>*<strong>buzz*</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>From: Harry Styles</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>(1) "Because if you're awake it means I can talk to you, and I wanna do that."</strong>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>— "Can't it just wait till</strong> <strong>morning?"</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>*buzz*</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>From: Harry Styles</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>(1) Some things are better said in the dark, would you agree?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is he doing what I think he's doing?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>—<strong> "I suppose. Is there something you wanna tell me</strong>?"</p><p> </p><p>*<strong>buzz</strong>* Louis' stomach felt like it was about to turn inside out.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>From: Harry Styles</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>(1) "I literally can't stop thinking about you, is that odd?"</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's doing exactly what I think he's doing. Holy crap.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>— "<strong>I don't think so. I'm nothing special to think about...but i'm flattered none the less."</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>*buzz*</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>From: Harry Styles</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>(1) "Don't say that about yourself.</strong>
  
</p><p> </p><p>(<strong>2) Do you think about me too? Like how I think about you?"</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Of course I do you idiot, but honestly I've barely come out to myself let alone you!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>—<strong> "Well you're going to have to be a bit more clear on how you think of me, Styles."</strong></p><p> </p><p>*<strong>buzz*</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>From: Harry Styles</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>(1) "How much clearer can I be Tomlinson?"</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>*<strong>Buzz*</strong></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>(2) "P.S. It's what you think."</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How the hell is he so confident with this? I barely can keep my words from not jumbling up and he's here doing this? so smoothly?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Alright. Play it cool.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>— "<strong>You've said it yourself, I'm pretty dense. What is it you wanna say?"</strong></p><p> </p><p>And with that the texts stopped coming in. Louis waited, but was sure that Harry had fallen asleep. After all, he had stayed up basically all night to make sure Louis was okay he must've been exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>Even as tired as Louis was, he still found himself laying on his side unable to sleep. He was imagining all the beautiful happy places his mom told him to see when he had trouble sleeping, but they all seemed dull. As he rolled over to face the inside of the couch, he resorting to trying to think of Harry brushing his finger tips against his. Harry running his fingers though his hair. Harry grabbing his hand to lead him through the store, refusing the let go.</p><p> </p><p>And before he knew it.</p><p> </p><p>He fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>A/N:</p><p>I know I know!! I want them together too already, but trust me we will have lots of content of them being together. Patience my friends 🙆🏼‍♀️</p><p> </p><p>In case you haven't noticed, Louis thoughts tend to be in second person while Harry's are exclusively in first. This is because people that are more insecure about themselves tend to think in second and third person! I thought it would be a nice touch since that's Louis' character rn.</p><p> </p><p>Hope you liked this chapter! Vote if you can :)</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Bungalow (2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Harry's POV*</p><p> </p><p>Harry opened his eyes to the sound of small creeks across the floor. His head started pounding almost immediately from the lack of sleep and he tightened his eyes shut at the feeling.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jesus. I feel like I've only slept for basically ten minutes...Is it seriously already morning?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He groaned as he turned over to see the clock that was ticking near the coach and squinted attempting to see the hands ticking in the dark room.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Three a.m.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Huh? No wonder I felt so exhausted. It's only been three hours.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He couldn't see much, and thought that maybe it would be better for him to go back to sleep anyway. He seriously wanted to just turn and curl up in his bed again, letting his eyes hang heavily. He was barely able to keep his thoughts in one stream as he was in the strange state between awake and asleep, but he couldn't shake the thought that something was wrong. He didn't hear the movement for no reason, and since it was his house he needed to make sure.</p><p> </p><p>He threw his blanket off his side and sat up. His eyes were so dry that they almost hurt as he tried to keep them open, but he slowly got off of his mattress trying to be as quiet as he possibly could. He saw Niall and Liam in their beds after his eyes adjusted, so at least he knew it wasn't them.</p><p> </p><p>He turned on the flashlight with his phone, and tip toed over to the where he had heard the footsteps. He was exhausted, having not slept well in two days, but as he saw the door open and a small silhouetted slide through it, Harry knew it had to be Louis and it was worth it in that distance.</p><p> </p><p>Harry walked over following him just far enough to keep distance, but he couldn't help but look at Louis through the clear back door. The sun still hadn't risen, and the moon barely illuminated the stone step he saw Louis sitting on. The street lights held on a dull warm hue, almost they were too dusty and so they didn't burn bright...or maybe because he was staring at Louis and so a lot of things looked dull in comparison.</p><p> </p><p>He could see from Louis' back and shoulders that his breathing shallower than usual, and he imagined that his hands were probably being cuffed at his sides, grabbing at his pajama pants like they usually did but it was too dark to tell. He had only known him for a short time, but Louis always tended to do it whenever he was around Harry. When he was too nervous.</p><p> </p><p>Harry walked up and turned the knob, opening the clear door slowly in hope to not alarm Louis.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I mean it is three am, you can't expect him not to get frightened.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Louis?"</p><p> </p><p>Louis turned around quickly shuffling to his feet and rubbing his forearm against his eyes and face before looking at Harry.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey! Sorry, couldn't sleep. Nothing to worry about though." He said, but he still had his eyes glued to the floor. "What are you doing up?"</p><p> </p><p>"Checking on you." Harry replied.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh you don't have to! I'm totally fine."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How is he so cute even when he's not telling the truth.... It makes it easier to look at him since I can't see all the features of his face, I'm so glad I can't. I'm too tired to have as much control as I usually do. But I miss his eyes.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Do I have to tell you I know you're lying?" Harry asked him, remembering his words from earlier yesterday morning. Harry had wanted to stay up for him then and he felt the same now as he was sitting next to him. He didn't mind losing sleep for this, even though he felt his mind slowly failing him.</p><p> </p><p>"How can you tell I'm lying?" Louis asked, backing off of the step and stepping into the cool grass with his bare feet. It was long, and tickled him enough that he kept shifting.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why does he always feel like he needs to have distance from me? It's not like it lasts long anyway. I can't stand to be away from him for too long....</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wow. I'm a bit clingy arent I?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry followed Louis' movements, and stepped down onto the stone step right above him. He was a bit taller than him standing like this, and it made Louis' job of avoiding looking at him that much easier.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Now or never, Harry. If he doesn't like you...well if he doesn't like you need to go to therapy or something because obviously that would mean you totally misread this and you need to refresh your social cue reading.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He almost second guessed himself, but he put a finger under Louis' chin so that he would stop letting his eyes drop away. Harry looked down him, and he could see the puffiness that surrounded them in his exhaustion.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I wish I could help him rest. He doesn't know he can let go with me. I could help.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I know you're lying because of the way you keep avoiding my eyes. I can also tell by the way you're grabbing at the sides of your pants, I don't even have to look down to know you're doing it."</p><p> </p><p>Harry felt Louis relax his hands that were at his sides and smiled smugly at his correct assumption, still with Louis' chin being held up by his index finger. Louis' eyes were everywhere except his own.</p><p> </p><p>"You also can't help but bite the inside of your cheek when you're nervous. You're doing it now. I think it's cute actually, makes your jaw look nice. Though I wish you wouldn't do it." Harry said, and Louis smiled releasing the tension in his face.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not nervous because I'm lying though." Louis said, taking his face away from Harry's grasp and turning around. "I'm nervous for other things."</p><p> </p><p>Harry jumped off the stone step and stood next to him.</p><p> </p><p>"So you admit you're lying?" He said putting a finger in Louis' face and smiling. "Tell me the truth."</p><p> </p><p>"Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth." Louis said. Harry could feel Louis' nerves basically seeping through and into the air. He got nervous himself.</p><p> </p><p>"Well,-uhm-It's easier in the dark? Can you tell me in the dark?"</p><p> </p><p>Louis sat himself down on the grass and Harry followed itching to be closer to him. They sat cross legged in front of each other, Louis staring at his hands and Harry trying to meet his eyes but failing desperately. Harry could see him fiddling with the fabric on his pants like he predicted, and he could see the huge wall Louis had put between them so well he could practically see the color.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God, he's so frustrating sometimes. Maybe if I get him out of his comfort zone....That could help break this barrier down? Usually works. He's too scared of me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Hey? Uhm—why don't you C'mere. Lay your head in my lap." Harry said, sitting crisscrossed in front of Louis and gesturing for him to come closer. He pouted his lips out in hope Louis would feel sympathy for his puppy dog eyes.</p><p> </p><p><em>C'mon. Please</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"It's easier to let it go if you're in the dark. But you have to let me close, at least a little bit. C'mon.." Harry said, and Louis looked at him exhausted almost like he was battling with the entire thing in his head.</p><p> </p><p>"C'mon. You can let it go with me."</p><p> </p><p>Louis sighed as he looked back at him, giving him the prettiest eyes Harry couldve ever seen. He couldn't put his finger on the emotion, but all he could grasp on was that they were spilling out.</p><p> </p><p>"If I wasn't so tired, I probably wouldn't. But fine." Louis said, and he leaned back so that the grass was kissing his t shirt and his head sat in Harry's lap. His eyes closed as he did it, almost like he was scared of what they were doing...but Harry took the opportunity to graze over his beautiful features .</p><p> </p><p>It was a scene that seemed to only belong in movies or books. Harry staring down at him, with the stars and moon softly lighting up the shadows of his jaw and cheekbones. He looked so perfect, Harry never thought he needed to see anything beautiful ever again. This was enough for tonight. This was enough for the rest of his life.</p><p> </p><p>"Jesus Christ. You're so gorgeous."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God dammit sleep deprivation. Making me sound like a serial killer staring down at him...but he so is. How could I not see it? How could I ignore it?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Im so tired, so just making sure...Youre calling me gorgeous?" Louis replied fluttering his eyes open and meeting Harry's.</p><p> </p><p>"Uhm—yeah. I'm calling you gorgeous. Is that okay?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah..it's nice actually."</p><p> </p><p>Harry couldn't help but notice Louis' eyes flicker over to his lips and he did the same. He couldn't see completely, but the white haze of the moonlight outlined Louis' lips enough for Harry to imagine just how they might fit against his.</p><p> </p><p>"Can I run my hands through your hair?" Harry breathed out as they continued looking at each other. Louis' lips parted as he nodded quickly, and Harry couldn't help but notice the smile that began inching in his eyes and mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Harry curled his fingers softly and intertwined them with Louis' chestnut hair. It felt silky, just as Harry had imagined it would after feeling it against his cheek in so many of their hugs, and he could already begin smelling the shampoo that reminded him of mint and rain water.</p><p> </p><p>Louis let out a sigh as Harry continued to feather across his scalp with his fingertips. He scooted himself up to drop his whole torso further into Harry's lap and put his arm in front of him to curl into Harry's thighs.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I could literally do this forever. In fact, I might if it means feeling him in my lap for that long.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry felt his own eyes begin to close at the relaxing intimacy. Slowly but surely he was feeling tired himself as he took care of Louis, but he fought his own sleep in attempt to not make Louis feel like a disturb to it.</p><p> </p><p>"What happened darling? Why did you wake up like this?" Harry asked him, now tracing his ear and lingering on the spot between his ear and hairline...traveling down and then using his whole palm to lightly cover his neck and massage it.</p><p> </p><p>"That feels—that feels nice. Your hand on my neck. Uhm..please if you could keep doing that it would be nice." Louis muttered, pressing his cheek against Harry's thigh and holding his legs to him closer with his arm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I would probably do anything you'd want if you ask me to. Especially now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry continued his light massage on Louis neck, then tracing his fingers around the curves of his ear, jaw, and cheeks gently. His imagined himself painting against his skin, wishing he could cover it in kisses as his eyes tried to droop shut.</p><p> </p><p>Harry saw Louis' eyes fluttered down as well, and soon he heard his breath becoming steady with every tracing he did.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I'm jealous of my fingertips...I wish that my lips could run across his face. His jaw. His skin.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Louis adjusted so that he was curled up now facing Harry, with his nose brushed against Harry's lower right hip. Harry couldn't help but take his free hand and trace Louis' lips and then up the bridge of his nose and up to his eyes, as if drawing a one line portrait of the boy.</p><p> </p><p>He stayed there staring at him for a while, just running his fingertips around his skin. The sun was still no where in sight, and for a moment he wondered what the time may have been; but he then honestly felt like he didn't even have to look at the time ever again. If he was with Louis, the time didn't matter. He was where he wanted to be.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's got you wrapped around his little finger.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Lou?" Harry asked, lightly pressing his lips to Louis' ear. "Do you want to go inside with me?" He felt him shiver in his lap at the touch, and they both giggled.</p><p> </p><p>"Can you sleep with me?" Louis slurred out in his tired state. His voice was growing hoarse, it was so sweet and Harry could barely contain himself from kissing him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wait.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh god. Of course. Holy crap, he wants me to sleep with him? In his bed? Next to him? What the hell.. oh god I hope I don't smack him or something in my sleep.. what if I-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Is that a no?" Louis said, finally opening his eyes and looking up at Harry from his lap. Harry could see the sleep in his eyes as they didn't open all the way, and he wanted to shut them with his fingertips and tell Louis' he could rest in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>"No, no! It's a yes. Uhm-I would love if you did. I would love to uhm-sleep with you. I'm not a crazy sleeper. I'll be a great companion I think."</p><p> </p><p>Louis sat up giggling at Harry's comment, and landed himself right in front of him. They had been so close already from him being on his lap, but with him sitting up and turning toward him they were basically nose to nose. It seemed to always happen this way, that they locked eyes and couldn't seem to pull any other direction. Part of Harry felt like maybe if he were planet, Louis had to have been what he was pulled toward. His gravity.</p><p> </p><p>"You said some things were easier said in the dark, right?" Louis whispered as he was inches from his face and running his eyes over it. It seemed anything louder might've broken the bubble they had created for themselves. Harry felt like it was made of glass, and if they looked too far out it would simply disappear. He almost thought his heartbeat was too loud for the space they created.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah. I think they are." Harry managed to breath out.</p><p> </p><p>Louis took in a breath from his nose and swallowed hard. He closed his eyes shut, and Harry could feel his own stomach erupting in butterflies so huge they wanted to leap out of his throat.</p><p> </p><p>"I want to kiss you." Louis whispered, and Harry felt the s's of the word sending shivers down his ribs and into his legs.</p><p> </p><p>"I want you to kiss me." Harry replied, unable to even breathe through his nose at this point. He sat there mouth slightly parted, staring at the way Louis' eyelashes fluttered even though they were shut. Like they were desperately trying to stay closed.</p><p> </p><p>"It's easier in the dark you're right...when I can't see you, Harry, its easy. You make me so nervous. Please. Just kiss me."</p><p> </p><p>Harry's heart beat probably went up to double it's resting rate as the words poured from Louis' mouth. He lifted his hand and ran his thumb over Louis' bottom lip, making him take in a sharp breath as his eyes remained closed.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you sure?." Harry asked him.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes...Please."</p><p> </p><p>And Harry moved his head foreword, and lightly pressed his lips against Louis'. He felt Louis freeze up under him, and felt nervous at the reaction. He stayed there, not wanting to deepen anything, but soon Louis relaxed and Harry felt his warm breath come out of his nose as they sat there.</p><p> </p><p><em>Holy shit. You're kissing Louis Tomlinson. He's kissing you. YOURE KISSING LOUIS</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Harry pulled away after the shallow kiss, not wanting to move it too quickly. As he did, he felt Louis' lips stuck to his for a quick moment as if even they were tempting him that they didn't want to let go. He cupped the side of Louis' face with one hand and looked at him.</p><p> </p><p>"Open your eyes. Let me see them."</p><p> </p><p>And he did. He opened his tired eyes, and Harry swore he was going to be obsessed with that exact shade of blue for the rest of his life.</p><p> </p><p>"You don't have to hide yourself from me. Not your eyes, not your details, not you. I want to see you. Even if it's only in the dark for the time being." Harry said, and Louis stared at him in silence before muttering out to him.</p><p> </p><p>"Sleep with me?" Louis asked him quietly, and Harry nodded pulling back in to peck his lips again before having to force himself to pull away.</p><p> </p><p>"Holy crap, I don't want to stop kissing you." Louis said, and Harry put his hands in Louis' hair so that he was sorta cupping his face gently.</p><p> </p><p>"We'll have more time, right? You need to get some sleep for those eyes."</p><p> </p><p>He helped Louis up off the ground, both of them unable to stop smiling as they walked back into the living room. It seemed as though nothing had changed as they looked at the sleeping boys, but in Harry's mind almost everything had. In one moment, it was completely different.</p><p> </p><p>He guided Louis to lay on his mattress with him, and then followed crawling next to him. Although he desperately wanted to turn around and cuddle Louis closely, he turned himself the other way to keep from moving things too quickly.</p><p> </p><p>He was falling tired, and his eyes began to feel extremely heavy as he laid there. He felt Louis' back pressed against his, and just as he almost slipped into his dreams... he felt Louis' ankle hook under his.</p><p> </p><p>And he couldn't help but smile as he fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>**</p><p> </p><p>The rest of their week managed to be more uneventful than these days. The only moments him and Harry seemed to have we're at night, where Louis would ask to sleep next to him and they would end up tangled in each other till the sun came up and Harry snuck his way over to the couch. Every night he would wait until the boys fell asleep, and whisper to Louis asking if he wanted him to go over with which he would always beg him too. As he laid there, they only shared small moments.</p><p> </p><p>Things like intertwining their ankles, or scooting closer so their backs fit into each other's like puzzle pieces. Louis had even began getting into the habit of tracing notes on Harry's back, saying they were letters he had to guess. They would try and guess them, laughing and smiling till morning just for the sun to rise every time and remind them that their world was only temporary. Louis would say the notes were only lyrics to his favorite songs, but Harry found some consistencies as he traced.</p><p> </p><p>"Harry + Louis"</p><p>or</p><p>"I think I like you."</p><p> </p><p>But Harry never told him that he had picked it up. He only agreed to whatever Louis giggled about that night, hoping that he could feel his fondness for him just as well.</p><p> </p><p>And they fell asleep for the rest of the week and thirteen days, tracing letters on each other's backs until they fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>And it all felt so sempiternal. And you know? Maybe it was.</p><p> </p><p>Because it had only begun.</p><p> </p><p>And it already felt like a lifetime.</p><p> </p><p>A/N</p><p>First baby kiss!! Ugh I love them.</p><p> </p><p>Playlist song that goes with this is : I Love You by Alexa and Sierra. Harry wrote that song and a lot of people (including me) can see it being about the bungalow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Trip Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis' POV</p><p> </p><p>Louis came out the front door to see Harry lugging his suitcase into the back of Anne's trunk, along with the other boys climbing into the car.</p><p> </p><p>"You don't have to do that!" Louis yelled, running over and putting his hands under his case to hike it up onto the top of the tetris style setup Harry had going on. It put him pretty close to Harry after doing so, but luckily by now he was getting more comfortable with his personal bubble being filled with Harry too.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can't believe you kissed him this week. He sorta kissed you..but still! He kissed you! And you didn't pull away! Big steps Lou. Big steps.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Even though the rest of the time had not been as eventful physically, it was extremely eventful for Louis emotionally.</p><p>He had always at some level known that he wasn't completely straight, but it was one of those things that he decided he would deal with when (and if) he was ever in that position. And...well now he was. Because he had a crush a stupid boy, who actually wasn't stupid at all funnily enough.</p><p> </p><p>He was caring and sweet, and remembered things Louis didn't even expect him too. He took care of him in the small ways Louis always seemed to have held onto, and he had never really noticed how heavy all those small things were until Harry helped him carry them.</p><p> </p><p>"Ready?" Harry said, smiling at him sweetly. He noticed how his green eyes trailed over his forehead and down to his lips. He couldn't help but blush and turn away from it all.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah! Let's go."</p><p> </p><p>He grabbed Harry's hand and pulled it over to the side of the car for them to find their seats and settle for the ride to the train station. Louis threw his backpack into his desired spot and sat with Harry following close behind him. Liam and Zayn had taken the two in the front, so they climbed back to join Niall.</p><p> </p><p>"So, how was the experience at Bungalow Twist? Hopefully you didn't just eat chocolate cereal all week?" Robin asked them, turning over and smiling at the boys. Louis laughed, but with it he then immediately found himself missing his own stepdad...the feelings of missing his family creeped in more and more each day. They were a mix of worry, guilt, and homesickness.</p><p> </p><p>"It was great! Harry is a fantastic cook, thank God. Could actually keep us alive!" Liam said laughing, and Anne also smiled catching Harry's eyes in the rear view mirror.</p><p> </p><p>"He got it allll from his Mama!" She teased, and she stretched her hand out to turn up the radio.</p><p> </p><p>Now, Louis had learned a thing or two about Harry's music taste in the past week. The first, was that he literally couldn't sleep without having it in is ear. Every night they would lay on their backs and share headphones, to which Harry would beg to show him every song he ever loved (most of it belonging to the decades previous), but he enjoyed it nonetheless. He had still been waking up frequently in the night at the Bungalow unfortunately, and when he did he would hear the music lightly playing from the headphones they would share into the hours of the night. Honestly? He couldn't imagine how Harry fell asleep to that stuff. It was so loud most of the time.</p><p> </p><p>"You love this song." Louis said turning over to Harry, and henodded excitedly and began humming along to the old tune. As he did, he put his hand on top of Louis' knee casually enough to try and make it seem normal, but it still made Louis feel so electrified he almost wanted to pull away.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Almost</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>He got the guts to put his fingers on top of Harry's, and began drawing circles with his thumb on the back of his hand. He saw Harry's smirk build up and he turned to Louis and smiled shyly.</p><p> </p><p>"I like that." He said softly so Niall wouldn't hear.</p><p> </p><p>"Me too."</p><p> </p><p>They drove the rest of the way keeping their hands slightly touching, and singing along to the music that Louis didn't even know, but enjoyed pretending he did none the less. He tried to keep his hand in Harry's for as long as he could without getting attention from the boys.</p><p> </p><p>They soon arrived at the train station, and piled out with the help of Harry's parents to get their bags. After they seemed to have everything, they pulled Harry into a hug so tight it made Louis' heart ache with jealousy. He wanted his mom, but he knew it wasn't possible just yet. After her hug with Harry, she turned and gave Zayn, Liam and Niall quick hugs and kisses with which they all smiled and thanked her. Louis couldn't help but notice the way her fingers trailed along the boys back lovingly, and it reminded him of how Harrys hugs tended to be.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>We're all basically our parents aren't we?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>When she turned to Louis she smiled, tilting her head slightly to the side in a fondness he wasn't quite sure he was deserving of and she pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back gently. Louis smelt his favorite smell in her hair, just like Harry's. The oranges.</p><p> </p><p>"Take care of my boy. He really wants to stick with you." She whispered, still holding Louis so close it almost made the jealousy he had previously felt feel like it was hugged right out of him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Guess the whole Styles family has that effect on me. Making all the bad parts of me disappear for a second.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I will. I wanna stick with him too so don't worry." He replied, taking one more large smell of her hair. Just like Harry.</p><p> </p><p>She let go of him and squeezed his shoulders tightly, and Louis could practically feel everyone's eyes burning into their small moment but he didn't care. He missed his mom, and that hug made him feel for a second that she wasn't too far away. He also couldn't help but notice just how much Harry resembled her in his demeanor, and it made him smile.</p><p> </p><p>The entire two weeks he had called his mom almost everyday, talking and telling her about every detail he could. Every once and a while he heard plates clattering in the background, or the girls fighting, or even the car whirring in the back. The busyness of the calls made him desperately want to pack everything up and go back immediately. Part of him felt like he was losing out on the time every teenager was suppose to have with his mom.</p><p> </p><p>She didn't expect me to leave so fast.</p><p> </p><p>His typical nightmares managed to stay at bay which he was thankful for as he slept next to a Harry, but new ones creeped in that begged him to shoot upright in bed and feel the need to leave the competition all together. If Harry wouldn't have been there next to him, he was sure he would've been contemplating it as he sat alone more often than not during the entire trip.</p><p> </p><p>"What's wrong?" He heard creep into his thoughts as they began walking away from Harry's parents. Louis was only holding his backpack, and had barely noticed Harry had gotten his luggage for him.</p><p> </p><p>"Nothing, sorry. Just tired. Can you give me my bag?"</p><p> </p><p>"I only give it if you tell the truth."</p><p> </p><p>"Harry C'mon." Louis tried to lean forward to snatch it from his hand but Harry only blocked him smoothly.</p><p> </p><p>"Lou, you gotta trust me darling." Harry looked into his eyes from fluttering his lashes, and Louis only rolled his.</p><p> </p><p>"Keep it then."</p><p> </p><p>"God, you're always this stubborn?" Harry teased, and Louis couldn't help but let out a reluctant smile.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Yes. But he doesn't need to know that.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He continued walking next to him as he rolled both their bags and the others boys played around steps in front of them.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh C'mon. Tell me. Please?" Harry asked, looking at him and furrowing his brows together with a pouted lip.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Him and those stupid puppy eyes. He knows they work on me. I can't bear to say no when he looks at me like that.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Later."</p><p> </p><p>"Fine." Harry said, but Louis could see him practically skipping away being pleased with himself, still with Louis' bag in hand. He walked ahead of the boys and the all followed him shaking their heads and smiling at his silly gesture.</p><p> </p><p>"So how's your parents taking the distance?" Zayn asked him as he caught up.</p><p> </p><p>"Probably the same as anyone's. How are yours?"</p><p> </p><p>"Eh...Not too good. They miss me, and they worry. But I know I'm gonna be fine. It's hard to not see them though."</p><p> </p><p>"I understand. More than you know. I worry about my family all the time....I miss them. I miss my Mum."</p><p> </p><p>Zayn nodded and gave Louis a compassionate smile. Louis returned it and then brought his hand up to rub Zayn's back gently.</p><p> </p><p>"It's alright man. We'll get through it and then be able to go back to em." </p><p> </p><p>Zayn smiled wildly as him. "And hopefully rich and famous too!"</p><p> </p><p>They found their way to the train that was taking them back into London, and boarded. It wasnt too busy this time around and so they all sat somewhere near each other. Zayn had asked Louis to sit with him but Harry had interjected laughing it off and pulling him to their own seats. Louis apologized for it and promised Zayn he would sit next time, or maybe even for the second half of the trip to which he agreed to while laughing at Harry. Niall, Zayn, and Liam sat at a four person set with a convenient table while Louis and Harry sat behind them together.</p><p> </p><p>"So." Harry said as he put his backpack in the space above them. "Are you gonna tell me what you were thinking about?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He literally never gives up does he? Wants to pick at your brain all the fucking time. Ugh. What's the point of it anyway?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I don't understand why you're so obsessed with what's going on in my head." Louis mumbled as Harry sat down next to him. He immediately reached out and grabbed his hand, surprising himself and Harry.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry, force of habit now." Louis said, and he tried to pull away but Harry kept him there close to him.</p><p> </p><p>"Can I ask you something?" Harry asked, staring at their fingers twined together.</p><p> </p><p>"Uhm-yeah I suppose so. As long as you're not expecting me to share my deepest darkest secrets in broad day light on a train."</p><p> </p><p>Harry laughed, the warm one that Louis liked that sometimes trickled into a quick giggle at the end.</p><p> </p><p>"When have I ever asked you to tell me your deepest darkest secrets Louis Tomlinson?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>UHM?!? TRY EVERYTIME WE TALK SMART ASS.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Be nicer than that. Remember you like this person.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Probably more often than you think, Styles." He managed to say.</p><p> </p><p>Harry smiled again, as if finding the whole idea absolutely utterly hilarious and far fetched.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He doesn't know he's basically the only person that knows even the small parts of you. AND YOU KISSED HIM-well he kissed you-BUT STILL THATS THE BIGGEST SECRET OF ALL. I need baby steps. Everything is in such huge strides with him. What if he gets bored of-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"God, always in the head of yours." Harry said, running his thumb over the back of Louis' hand breaking him out of his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>"It's safe here in my head." Louis said using his free hand to point to his forehead comically. "No one can judge what's happening, and that's safe."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can think whatever I want and no one expects me to be responsible for how it makes them feel. Cause it's just me! Just me in here! Love it. Please stop knocking.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Are you not safe with me? You don't trust me in your brain?" Harry asked.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Uhm i've known you for three weeks...so no. not yet.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ugh Louis!! You're gonna break his heart, or bore him. Give him some hope at least. It's not his fault you're as closed off as a chest with a lock.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Uhm- I don't know yet." Louis muttered out. It was the truth, whether he liked it or not Harry had kinda been the only person he'd shown anything to.</p><p> </p><p>"What is there to be afraid of? Why so shy?" Harry said, reintertwining their fingers softly as Louis had tried to unconsciously pull away. There was noise blasting from the speakers, people talking all around them, and little bits of wind coming from the windows...yet it felt silent enough in those two small seats.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not afraid of you like that. It's just, the consequences of trusting someone must be weighed out."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jesus Lou, you're acting like it's a business transaction.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"And how am I weighing out?" Harry asked, turning and softly asking it toward Louis. There was no usual charm in his voice, or flirtatious slurring of his words..it actually sounded like he was concerned for the answer.</p><p> </p><p>"I just need time. I'm not as much of a leaper as you are my darling."</p><p> </p><p>"A leaper? You mean like confident?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah kinda. I need baby steps okay? One thing at a time? I have to look at the ups and downs of it all."</p><p> </p><p>Harry smiled and then took his hand out of Louis, to stand up and grab his journal and pen from his backpack.</p><p> </p><p>"Sounds boring, but alright Louis Tomlinson. As everything needs to be calculated for you to feel safe-"</p><p> </p><p>"Well no-"</p><p> </p><p>"It's okay! I don't mind it. But, what subjects are ON limits? Ones that you won't feel like I'm trying to get you to tell me your deepest darkest secrets on a train in broad daylight?" He winked at Louis and began twirling his pen above the page with one word:</p><p> </p><p>"<strong>LOUIS (1)"</strong></p><p> </p><p>"What's the one for?" Louis asked, leaning into him and watching him write on the very tip of the line.</p><p> </p><p>"Because it's only your first layer. I hope I'll get more and get to change that number."</p><p> </p><p>"Do you have layers?" Louis asked him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's always so insanely confident about it all sometimes I feel like it's crazy for me to have secrets. How does he never feel the fear or the reactions around him? It's more possible to do the wrong thing, than the right thing. I just need time to figure it out..how does he not?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Doesnt everyone?" Harry said, almost like he was shocked at the absurdity of Louis' question.</p><p> </p><p>"Well honestly, sometimes it feels like you don't."</p><p> </p><p>Harry looked away from the journal to look around the train and see everyone's eyes different places. He put his finger under Louis' chin once he saw everyone was well distracted.</p><p> </p><p>"Im usually very full of surprises...I just don't hide them as well with you. You do something to me that I can't really explain. It makes me want to show you my poems, my journals, my deepest thoughts...that's how safe you make me feel."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is this boy the next coming of fucking Shakespeare? How can he speak so romantically with no calculation? Oh God. I HAVE A CRUSH ON THE NEXT SHAKESPEARE?!?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know why it's me...But, I still thank you for it. I would, um, I would love to see those parts of you." Louis replied shuffling out of Harry's touch.</p><p> </p><p>"With you? I'll be an open book Louis." He said as he leaned back into the chair.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God, why is it so hard for me to want to be one too? It's not his fault. He's never done anything. Yet telling him anything is like forcing myself to jump off a ledge.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry I'm not..I'm just not there yet." Louis replied sadly. "It's not you at all! It's just my own shit."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh that's okay. I kinda like it. It's so fun to just admire what you're like and see you become more and more yourself with me. Also...quit picking at your pants you're gonna ruin them."</p><p> </p><p>Louis looked away from Harry and down to his lap to see his sweats in between his nails. He hadn't even noticed it.</p><p> </p><p>"How did you know I was doing that!" Louis asked, hitting Harry on the arm playfully.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's almost too observant for my liking. Is it too much to ask to get some privacy! Louis thought laughing at himself.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"You always do it! It's not my fault I'm good at picking up patterns."</p><p> </p><p>"Leave my patterns alone, they're secrets." Louis said smiling as he pulled Harry closer to him by his shirt so they were almost nose to nose. He looked around the train again to make sure no one had seen before letting go. Louis squinted his eyes at him and then turned away.</p><p> </p><p>The sat in silence for a moment, with Harry turning over to look at Louis every once and a while with his lips rolled into his mouth to stop his sly smile. After a while Harry put his hand on Louis leg, to which he let sit there without acknowledging before speaking up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Fine. Gotta start somewhere.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Favorite things. Like food, or drinks or things like that. Also-"</p><p> </p><p>"Huh? What are you talking about?" Harry asked tilting his head in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>"The on limits topics!! Now write them down before I change my mind pretty boy."</p><p> </p><p>Harry grinned triumphantly, and Louis wanted to kiss it right off his face but decided a public train wasn't the best place for it. He trailed his pen along the pages and wrote down as Louis' continued to speak.</p><p> </p><p>"We can talk about music, I love that. And some family stuff I guess too. Movies are good, hobbies, school, flowers-"</p><p> </p><p>"Flowers?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh man. I didn't think he'd be hung up on it.. Maybe he thinks it's stupid and dorky. I should cover it up!</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No Lou. Just tell the truth, he wants to know.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>NOO COVER IT UP. HE THINKS YOURE STUPID.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No! don't! maybe he'll find it endearing!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>COVER. UP.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>NOOOO</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"Can you shut up?" Louis mumbled as he knitted his forehead annoyed at the thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>"Me?" Harry asked also confused. "Im sorry I was just making sure you said-"</p><p> </p><p>"Not you. My brain... Also, that I said Flowers? Yeah. I like them. I used to collect them for my mom when I was kid and-"</p><p> </p><p>Harry looked at him intently as if strings of gold were floating out of his mouth. His eyes were getting wider and his smile forming as he spoke....and Louis wasn't too keen on it. He was just a normal person, and he began feeling the pressure of how much this boy liked him sink in.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What if he's only desperate to see what goes on in your mind because he can't get it? What if he doesn't even care and he's just doing it out of boredom?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What if you're wrong about it all completely, but he does like you but he's expecting you to be this wonderful and amazing person and you're just...regular. That's all I am. He talks about me like I'm the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm just not. I can't do that for him. I don't want to be his light at the end of the tunnel.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry. Uhm-I'm going to go sit with Zayn." Louis said as he grabbed his things quickly and shuffled into the aisle. Harry looked at his with confused eyes, and stood up with him.</p><p> </p><p>"What? Why would you want to do that?" He asked. Louis saw his chest rising higher as if trying to make up for his insecurities.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You can't hide it from me love.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"I just want to Harry? I mean it's fine. It's fine right? We've been together for two weeks straight."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I know it's not fine. I know you want to know me, but you're slowly making me into someone i'm just not. I can tell. Someone too wonderful for words. That's not me, I'm just me. I don't want the pressure like that.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"It's not-I mean it is but like..I want to talk to you? Can you stay? I don't want you to go." Harry's voice had dropped, and suddenly it was him who couldn't meet Louis' eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh c'mon. It's nothing with you okay? Distance makes the heart grow fonder anyway. We can't just be together 100% of the time right?" Louis said, but he still felt like he had hurt Harry from wanting to sit with someone else and leave so abruptly.</p><p> </p><p>"I guess." he replied.</p><p> </p><p>Louis got up leaving Harry with an annoyed look on his face and asked if he could join the other boys at the table. Zayn looked at him happily when he took his seat next to him, and they handed him a handful of cards that they were playing with.</p><p> </p><p>Louis looked over and saw Harry scribbling in his journal, with his lips rolled into themselves in annoyance.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He's just trying to get close to you. Its not his fault that you're nervous about it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But then again, he shouldn't feel entitled to having you sit with him and talk to only him..</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How are we suppose to be a band if he's too selfish to let me get to know all the boys here?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You know that's not why he's upset. It's because you shut him out.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Okay, shut up me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>So Louis began playing with the cards, and soon he was having a great time full of their light hearted conversation and laughter avoiding his dread of feeling so unavailable to the only person he wanted to be available to. He liked the game enough, but he kept turning over to Harry and seeing him delved into his little leather journal or book while they all sang and laughed joyfully.</p><p> </p><p>I <em>wonder what's up with him? He can't be so offended that I came to sit somewhere else right? Oh C'mon. That's a bit dramatic.</em></p><p> </p><p>They rode the rest of the way, laughing and enjoying themselves. Harry giving Louis shy smiles every time he would look over, and even though he beckoned him to play he only told Louis it was fine and he was busy.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He can't expect me to beg him? A bit selfish I would think for him to get so upset over me sitting with the other guys.. he could've joined! Nobody is stopping him! Or maybe he really is busy? I don't know. I don't particularly enjoy it though.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>After the couple of hours, the warning bell rang for them all the go ahead into their seats and prepare to get to the London station. Louis used this as an opportunity to go back and sit by Harry, who seemed to be in a bit of an upset mood.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey? What's the matter? Everything okay?" Louis said as he slide in front of him and sat in the seat beside his. Harry smiled shyly.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm honestly embarrassed that I feel so annoyed at you wanting to leave our conversation. You have that right...I don't know why I'm so upset by it. I'm sorry, it's not anything with you. Sorry if I was a bit moody."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>HOW THE FUCK IS COMMUNICATING SO EASY FOR HIM?</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Jesus lord help me.</em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>"I mean you still are being a bit moody." Louis replied smiling.</p><p> </p><p>"Im sorry. I'll get over it."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm joking Harry. You're the sweetest moody lad i've ever seen."</p><p> </p><p>And Harry's whole demeanor changed at the comment just a bit, but enough for Louis to notice.</p><p> </p><p>"It was strange Lou, I didn't like it very much so I journaled my life away hoping it would help. It somewhat did, but I still missed you while you were over there. I just didn't want to join and be annoying with my attitude."</p><p> </p><p>"That's alright. I understand. But you're right in saying you can't be moody because I want to spend time with other people... got it?"</p><p> </p><p>"Got it. I promise I do."</p><p> </p><p>"And you could never annoy me. You got that too?"</p><p> </p><p>"Got it, Lou."</p><p> </p><p>Louis grabbed Harrys hand that laid on his lap and raised it so he could put his legs in Harry's lap and intertwine their fingers. Harry's mood immediately changed and he couldn't stop himself from smiling and the contact.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so moody but I'll work on it."</p><p> </p><p>"It's okay, you're my favorite even when you're moody!"</p><p> </p><p>And Harry laughed and ran his free hand through his hair as they waited for their arrival to the station. Louis and him talking about the insanity that they were beginning X Factor, and cuddled up together at the back of the train, almost not caring about who saw them</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I forget how young he actually is..he's got so much to learn. But, so do I honestly. I can't be too hard on him, he's just trying. At least he's self aware! I'm not the best at that...and he's honest. That's more than I say-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Jesus, quit thinking for four seconds. Just be here with me. We'll have time to think later okay?" Harry said, reaching over and brushing Louis' hair out of his face.</p><p> </p><p>"How can you tell I'm thinking?"</p><p> </p><p>"You make a face and furrow your brows like you're mad at your thoughts. Try not to think about anything too much for like the next couple of hours. Just focus on us being ON THE XFACTOR!"</p><p> </p><p>And so Louis tried to do that as they approached the station. He tried to do that as they walked through it and Harry grabbed his hand gently when no one was watching. He tried to do it as they piled into their car, and drove to the X Factor house.</p><p> </p><p>And there was so much he could've thought about!</p><p> </p><p>But he didn't. He stayed with Harry in the moment they were experiencing, and thought about how maybe he could get used to not thinking much at all...</p><p> </p><p>A/N</p><p>Hellllooooo! Little Louis, always so worried about everything :, (</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. X.F. Week One (Rehearsal)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry's POV.</p><p>"Finally I get to give a proper Good Morning," Liam told him with a laugh as Harry began his daily search for any leftover available vegetables in the breakfast serving they had at the house.</p><p>Their last couple of days had truly been as dreamy as Harry could've imagined. They began running in actually rehearsing studios, they got assigned music, and they even worked on solo voice details and Harry was already imagining himself standing on the stage alone one day. They had gotten the earliest time slot for rehearsing at the stage, so it meant five am rehearsals, but it also meant they were out by ten which was extremely nice. It was everything he wanted, and he was having a pretty fun time doing it too.</p><p>He admitted that a lot of that feeling had to do with his spending copious amounts of time with Louis, which he would never complain about. It was so often that even sleeping felt weird because he couldn't be with him completely. He had found his way into every thought he had, and even made his way into his dreams...but so casually it felt like maybe he had always been there. Or maybe it was just that he was always MEANT to be there.</p><p>They had been keeping their distance (annoyingly enough to Harry), only having their moments in the spaces between busy work and when the sun went down and everyone thought they had slept. They would stay up through the night and talk, sit together, or even just listen to their favorite music together...talking their ears off and losing their voices from the whispering. It was all so perfectly soothing and yet completely exciting as well. They hadn't really talked about what was going on between them and so telling people seemed like a far-off motive, but either way, he kinda liked watching it all develop so slowly but so purposefully. He noticed himself thinking of Louis even in times he would've not particularly expected to, and he saw it in Louis' body language too. Consciously choosing each other all the time. Consciously remembering each other all the time. There was beauty in the unconscious worry you feel for someone, but being purposefully chosen every day was worth so much more than he had anticipated feeling.</p><p>Louis woke up early to sit next to Harry as he journaled. Harry saved him seats at their table and would leave his sweater behind so Louis could wear it. Harry would stay up late to draw circles on Louis' back after everyone had fallen tired, so he wouldn't have nightmares. Louis would leave notes to remind Harry to call his mom and sister, or even to just remind him that he liked him immensely. Being purposely chosen felt extraordinary.</p><p>
  
</p><p>So as Harry greeted Liam, he also felt his eyes wander around the room, waiting for Louis to pop out any second. They had just finished their morning rehearsal, and Harry had caught Louis looking at him and smiling multiple times and was feeling the need to tease him for it.</p><p>To his dismay, Louis wasn't anywhere to be found for his teasing. Or just for his enjoyment of simply starting at him.</p><p>
  <em>What a cruel world it is.</em>
</p><p>Harry couldn't believe he was training and getting ready to sing in front of a panel of judges all day, with boys he had never sung with, and he was most nervous about a boy staring at him throughout the rehearsal? That's what he was worried about?</p><p>The answer was, undoubtedly, yes.</p><p>He grabbed his breakfast, which he managed to scrape together from leftovers of everyone else (having earliest rehearsal was the worst), and went to sit at a table with the rest of the boys. They had all been working tirelessly the past couple of days, and so he wasn't surprised to see all their plates piled high with toast, eggs, and sausages.</p><p>"Jesus, I'm starving. We really should be waking up earlier before rehearsal to eat. But, at least even the stale food is good." Niall said shoving a spoonful of hot oatmeal into his mouth and smiling happily.</p><p>"I can start waking you all up earlier if you want. I don't mind." Harry said as he joined them in eating. They talked about their schedules, and Harry found himself laughing at how much responsibly everyone had seemed to put on a bunch of teenagers.</p><p>
  <em>I guess when your career depends on it, you gotta do what you gotta do. I don't think any other place </em>
  <em>I've</em>
  <em> seen would have five teenage boys wanting to wake up earlier.</em>
</p><p>Harry saw the people that organized their breakfasts smile at them, and Liam told them they had all gotten their food and so if they needed help cleaning after they would gladly assist, to which they laughed off and told them to enjoy their rest time.</p><p>"What should we do for the rest of the day? We only have that meeting at six now, we kinda have-" But Zayns voice got interrupted by Harry's own thought process.</p><p>
  <em>Oh shit! Louis' food! He's not gonna get anything.</em>
</p><p>"Sorry Zayn, lemme get something for Louis before they pack up. Anyone know where he is?" Harry said as he continued to look around for him.</p><p>"He told me he was going to go talk to his Mum. I think he'd appreciate breakfast, didn't even think of it." Zayn said.</p><p>
  <em>Of course, you didn't, but that's okay. It's me who'll get to think of him and be taking care of him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Also, why did he tell Zayn and not me where he was going?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Relax Harry. Fuck.</em>
</p><p>He walked over to the cooks and apologized to them, asking if he could get some toast, ham, and cereal before they left. They graciously agreed and Harry popped everything together as quickly as possible, making sure to keep it looking nice for whenever he decided to join them.</p><p>They sat talking about what they wanted to do today, but Harry couldn't seem to keep his mind off of why Louis was running so terribly late.</p><p>
  <em>He knows we need to eat..and he wouldn't miss out on that unless there was something strange happening. Maybe something happened with his family? Could be. But even then, I would be sure he would text me and ask me to get him food...unless his stomach is upset 'cause he is nervous.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I should go check on him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Noooo! Privacy is good. If Louis has taught you anything so far it's that all he wants is his privacy. Sit your butt in this chair and do not get up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But what if he's stressed? What if HE'S JUST WAITING IN THE HALL CRYING AND HOPING YOU'LL COME AND GET HIM</em>
  <br/>
  <em>AND SWEEP HIM OFF HIS FEET AND HUG HIM AND-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Okay, maybe stop thinking of everything like it's some romantic movie...Seriously, I don't need to go, </em>
  <em>I'll</em>
  <em> give him his privacy.</em>
</p><p>And...that worked for about forty-three seconds (according to his personal counting) before he dismissed himself temporarily from the table and began searching the halls for the recognizable accent. It wasn't long before he heard it near their bedroom, and as he turned the corner he saw Louis sitting there<br/>with his back pressed against the wall and head resting there.</p><p>"I'm sorry. There's not much I can do from here though. I'm not sure what to do right now." He heard Louis say.</p><p>
  <em>I knew it! Thank goodness I trusted my instincts. I shouldn't second guess myself like that. I knew something was wrong.</em>
</p><p>"—Well, what do you want from me? To leave? Cause I'll do that but you just need to make sure I don't come home and she's pissed at you for asking."</p><p>
  <em>What? No. No, he can't leave. I can't have him gone from me...</em>
</p><p>"Yeah. I know she wouldn't want that either but how is it suppose to make me feel when you tell me shit like th—yeah.—yeah I know you're not.—I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that.—I'm sor—Alright, I'll talk to you soon.—Love you and Mum.—Alright, bye."</p><p>
  <em>Huh? What is this person trying to make him feel bad about? It sounded like it would be his stepdad from the conversation...but why would Louis blame himself for something he's not even there for?</em>
</p><p>He watched Louis stand up from the floor and close his eyes while rubbing his palm against his forehead. He let out a deep breath from his nose but the muscles in his jaw were still knotted up tightly. Harry wanted to go and kiss his clenched muscles away and tell him that nothing was his fault and he needed to be easier on himself.</p><p>
  <em>But he wants privacy. I need to give that to him. In fact, he'd probably be pissed I was eavesdropping in the first place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I can't just leave him like this? I could help. I need to talk care of him, he needs it now. But what if he gets pissed cause I was listening?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well by the time I figure it out he's gonna be turning over here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dumbass...</em>
</p><p>The questions were answered for him as Louis did exactly as he predicted and began walking over his way with his head still down. Harry decided it was far too late to try and play a game of hide and seek, so he backed up a few steps and pretended to be looking down the halls—running into Louis in the fake process like he wanted to.</p><p>"Hey!" He said as Louis ran into his chest. He was trying to keep it sounding surprised as if he hadn't been listening the entire time.</p><p>"I just came to look for you! I got your breakfast ready if you want it."</p><p>"How'd you know I was over here?" Louis asked slowly lifting his eyes up to Harry's</p><p>
  <em>Good grief he's always so stressed. I swear the world's problems could lie in those eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh shit, he asked you something... Lie. For sure.</em>
</p><p>"I didn't really," Harry said. "Just kinda started looking for you from where made the most sense."</p><p>
  <em>Technically that's not lying..he didn't ask how long </em>
  <em>I'd</em>
  <em> been there for! I did come looking for him!</em>
</p><p>"Oh...well thanks. And thanks for breakfast. I'm starving actually."</p><p>He met Harry's eyes and then pulled him in for a hug. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, and he held him there smelling the classic mint he loved so much that came from his hair. He ran his fingers over his back and Louis fell into him further, only the noise of the air whirred above them as they stayed there in silence for a few minutes. Harry tried to push every bit of care out of his body and into his fingertips as they ran across Louis' shirt, bunching it up.</p><p>"Everything alright?" Harry asked softly, Louis still grasping onto him and pressing his cheek into his shoulder.</p><p>
  
</p><p>"Yeah. Just talking to my stepdad about stuff. We hadn't caught up in a while that's all."</p><p>
  <em>Liar. Why are you lying? Well...I guess I technically did too...God, Are we already doing this wrong?</em>
</p><p>"Lou? I know you're lying..."</p><p>"I'm not lying Harry-" Louis said trying to interrupt.</p><p>"—but you know that's actually okay. You don't have to tell me right now if you don't want to." Harry said.</p><p>Louis' voice went soft. "It's okay that I'm lying?"</p><p>"Well, Uhm—yeah. Because I know you're not doing it because you're being sneaky or mean...you're just not ready. And, that's okay. I'll be here when you are. There's no rush."</p><p>And Harry felt Louis sink into him further.</p><p>
  <em>Has everything in his life always been too fast? I want to finally let him go at whatever speed he wants. I want to give him that security, even in things as small as this. His timing is good enough, in fact, its perfect for me.</em>
</p><p>"You know why there's no rush with you?"</p><p>Louis hummed in response as if asking Harry "why" without opening his mouth to do it.</p><p>"Because if I'm with you, why would I want to rush to the next thing?"</p><p>And Harry could practically feel every bone in Louis' body erupting in energy like there was sudden fluttering in the space of them.</p><p>
  <em>God, I wish I could read his thoughts right now. Say something, please.</em>
</p><p>But there was only more silence for a good portion of a minute, where Louis buried his face into Harry's shoulder and kissed it lightly before pulling away.</p><p>
  <em>What a terrible day to wear a long sleeve. God, I wish I was the fabric on my shoulder right now. What I would do to feel his lips on-</em>
</p><p>"Let's go eat?" Louis said interrupting the personal monologue Harry had going on.</p><p>"Yeah. I got you cereal, toast, and ham. And don't worry! I left the milk on the side so it doesn't get soggy."</p><p>Louis gave him a bright smile before grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly.</p><p>
  
</p><p>"I like you so much." He said, giving Harry the fondest look he had ever seen.</p><p>
  <em>The butterflies are going to pop right out of my chest if you keep looking at me like this.</em>
</p><p>"Yeah-uhm-obviously me too." He said stuttering over his words as Louis' eyes stayed locked in his.</p><p>The rest of the boys had stayed laughing and talking, and now that Louis was there eating beside him, Harry felt more relaxed and was able to participate in the conversation. They decided they were going to go around London today after they all called their families and got proper ready, get snacks at the grocery store, have a relaxing four 'o-clock dinner, and get good sleep for tomorrow after their meeting at six. Harry was excited for the house meeting as they hadn't gotten too much time to see the other contestants, and they'd finally get to socialize for at least an hour or two before going to bed.</p><p>"It's a good thing they start serving dinner early for us. I'm so beat..I'll probably be asleep by nine." Niall said, getting all of their plates together and then taking them over to the kitchen.</p><p>"Me too. These early rehearsals are hell." Zayn said.</p><p>"Do you all want to take a quick nap before we go? It's only eleven, how about we leave by twelve-thirty or one?" Louis said, putting his hand on Harry's leg under the table. The boys all thought it would be a great idea, and they finished up and headed to their rooms for a nap.</p><p>"Hey?" Louis said as they began walking back, his hand lightly inched toward grabbing Harry's but it was like he was too nervous to grab it completely.</p><p>"Yes?" Harry asked smiling toward Louis, hoping it would be enough to make Louis blush his eyes out. He found that he was completely correct as he caught his eye and saw Louis' cheeks red with embarrassment.</p><p>"God don't look at me like that in front of everyone! Are you trying to destroy me?"</p><p>"Maybe a little bit," Harry said winking over at him. They walked over into the room and Harry flopped onto his own bed happily, ready for some well-deserved sleep before realizing he hadn't known why Louis had asked for his attention in the first place out in the hall. He grabbed his phone over and it vibrated almost immediately.</p><p>
  <em>Weird. Same thoughts...</em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>From: Louis Tomlinson</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>"(1) Do you think they're asleep yet?"</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Harry listened around and heard Zayn's snoring which he expected. The second that his head hit the pillow Zayn always fell asleep each time. Niall was still shuffling in bed, and Liam's phone was still lighting up his face.</p><p>— <b><em>No, but I'm sure they will be soon. I'm definitely planning on it, we need some rest.</em></b></p><p>
  <b>
    <em>From Louis Tomlinson: </em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>"(1) Will you come over and sleep with me when they're asleep?"</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"(1) I mean..only if you want to."</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"(1) I think I'm just too used to it by now."</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"(1) Sorry."</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Harry smiled to himself at the message, and he couldn't even contain it. His eyes crinkled up and his cheeks ached from how big the smile was. His body felt happy right down to his toes.</p><p>
  <b>-"You don't have to apologize."</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-"I'll come over once I hear Liam's loud snore."</b>
</p><p>He heard Louis' giggle from across the room and knew that he had received the message. He waited until Niall's breath above him in the bunk got louder, and Liam and Zayn's snore seemed to sync in harmony. He climbed out of bed, trying to stay as quiet as possible, and walked over to Louis' bunk. Luckily they had both chosen the bottom bunks, and so sneaking to and from each other's beds would be easy.</p><p>
  <em>That is gonna come in handy.</em>
</p><p>"Uhm—so do you want me to just-"</p><p>And then he felt himself being pulled by his shirt to topple onto Louis. He caught himself by putting both hands on each side of Louis' head before rolling himself over to the side closest to the wall next to him.</p><p>"Jesus, at least give me a warning!" Harry said in a loud whisper after he landed on his back in the bed. Louis laughed and turned to cuddle his head into Harry's neck. Harry felt his nose tickling his skin and Louis nuzzling into him.</p><p>
  <em>He's never this forward? I'm always the one having to do all this shit. I love when he's like this.</em>
</p><p>"Someone wants cuddles, don't you?" Harry said feeling himself falling into the cheesy romanticism he always swore he'd never do...but with Louis, it only seemed appropriate to be so sugary sweet romantic it made him want to puke. There was no other way he wanted to treat him other than that.</p><p>"Yeah, but only with you," Louis said giggling and slightly turning his head up to meet his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>How is he so gorgeous?</em>
</p><p>"It better be only with me. Also, Jesus Christ, you are so gorgeous it makes me want to cry."</p><p>
  <em>Bit Dramatic are we?</em>
</p><p>"Stop that...at least you can't see me blushing. That's a good thing." Louis responded in a quiet whisper.</p><p>"But...I want to see you blush. I like seeing you flustered."</p><p>"How would you feel if I made you blush every time I spoke to you?"</p><p>"Oh, I dare you to try," Harry said smirking. And he was feeling quite cocky about the whole thing until suddenly he felt Louis' fingers grip the fabric on his chest and pull him so close that his lips were hovering over him.</p><p>"You want me to try?" Louis said, and Harry found himself completely flustered already. Every bit of his body erupted in heat as he stayed staring at Louis, only able to nod his head at his question.</p><p>Louis lowered his voice so that it was barely audible, so much so that Harry felt his hot breath touching his lips more than he did actually hear the words.</p><p>"You're beautiful. The most stunning person I've ever seen. I crave your fingers to trace over my back so much I can't sleep without it....I—I Uhm—feel like I'm practically addicted to you."</p><p>Harry laid there motionless as Louis brought himself to lay on his chest, still propped up on his elbows, and ran his thumb over his bottom lip.</p><p>"The way you kissed me. Even once? Has me thinking about it in my dreams. I can't take my eyes off of your pretty lips."</p><p>Harry turned his face away in pure fear of waking up his bandmates by breathing too heavily. He grabbed Louis' hand that had been lightly placed on his face and brought it to his lips and kissed it.</p><p>"Turn so I can put you to sleep, and then sleep myself. I wanna dream about you, alright?"</p><p>And Louis laughed and turned himself around so his back was facing up toward the ceiling. Harry took his fingers and placed them on him, outlining shapes that he wasn't sure even existed over his spine.</p><p>"Write me a Like-Letter," Louis said softly.</p><p>"A—a what?"</p><p>"A Like-Letter. Not quite love, but still nice things. Whatever you wanna say, trace it."</p><p>"Alright, but only cause you won't be able to tell what I'm writing."</p><p>And so Harry began writing his favorite things about Louis, making bullet points on his shoulders and all the way down to the back of his hip. Writing small paragraphs on the way he sleeps so soundly, or the way his hair kissed his forehead when he wore his favorite beanies. Writing poems about the butterflies in his stomach when Louis looked at him, and about the way his insides glimmered like water reflections whenever Louis' eyes looked into his.</p><p>He felt himself getting more poetic as he wrote about the way Louis was the ocean at sunrise, like the cold waves had been being touched by the moonlight, only to be saved by the soft warming of the rising sun. Like he was the sand that laid under your feet, on those days on the beach that made you feel like the earth was so real and also so unreal at that moment.</p><p>And he wrote about the way that he hoped in a moment of trust, Louis would let down his walls. That he would not know what the future was, but open his hands and fall freely with him. He hoped Louis would hold his hand out one day to him with his heart and say:</p><p>Here. Take it.</p><p>But it all seemed so far-fetched, and for now, the quiet sound of his breathing as Harry lulled him to sleep with his poem tracing was enough. It was enough to know that he trusted him with at least that, and maybe the walls still stood but they were perhaps only wood now instead of cement.</p><p>And maybe, Harry would find a way to let his cave in too.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N</p><p>I just think they're so cute. Louis slowlyyyy letting him in!! it's getting there.</p><p>Can we also celebrate Eleanor getting a job? SHE CAN QUIT BEING A BEARD. I FEEL VERY SIMILAR TO THEIR BREAKUP THE FIRST TIME.</p><p>Big things are happening.</p><p>Thank you for ready. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Vote if youre able!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. X.F. Week One (The Beach)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TO CLARIFY: When Louis is talking about his "dad" he is talking about his original birth dad not Mark. Mark is always referenced as Mark :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Louis POV*</p><p>"What do you say about going to the beach with us? We all wanna play some footie and swim and all." Nicolo asked the group. They had already rehearsed for the day (Louis feeling more rested than he had in weeks after his napping AND full night's rest the past day), and the rest of the group was going out for some bonding.</p><p>"Sounds good to me, I'm an excellent football player," Louis spoke up, and Niall nudged him playfully.</p><p>"Yeah right, you couldn't outrun me if you tried with those little legs!"</p><p>Harry laughed next to him, then brought his hand to his mouth to cover it. Louis lightly elbowed him in the stomach for the action before turning his attention back to Niall.</p><p>"Don't push it, Horan. I used to get in trouble for skipping school to play with my neighbors. I'll make your ankles twist around each other."</p><p>"Hot ain't he?" Zayn said laughing as he spoke to Nicolo and gestured toward Louis with his eyebrows, rolling his eyes.</p><p>"Maybe too much...I'd like to see the game you got, Tomlinson," Nicolo replied putting his hand out very officially which Louis took and shook.</p><p>"Don't have to ask me twice. I'm not the kind to back down, baby." Louis smirked. He felt the boys laugh beside him, and they all agreed to meet at the beach as soon as they all got ready.</p><p>"So you're a good footballer?" Liam asked as they headed over to the room to change.</p><p>
  <em>Didn't I just say that?</em>
</p><p>"Uhm-Yeah, I'd like to think so. I guess it depends on who you ask really."</p><p>"Then I wanna be on your team today," Liam said, wrapping his arm around Louis and ruffling his hair. He smiled and leaned his head into him agreeing that he would take one for EVERY team and let Liam on his. It earned him a messing up of his hair and a light pinch in his side.</p><p>They changed into their swim shorts as they got in, and Louis put on a t-shirt that was laying on his bed to cover himself up before walking out. He met with Niall and Harry who were already dressed and ready, talking to a set of girls he wasn't familiar with. He lightly inserted himself next to Harry and watched him talk as the conversation around him continued.</p><p>
  
</p><p>He heard them talking around him for a bit but got lost in his thoughts as per usual. He began to realize that he was a bit unsure of where he stood with Harry in all honesty, and none of that was Harry's fault. Harry was actually making it extremely easy to see that he liked Louis and wanted everything that came with it, but the concept of having him and Harry get together seemed so foreign and far fetched. Louis really never imagined them getting to this point.</p><p>When he began liking Harry, he always told himself he wouldn't have to tell his mother unless Harry liked him back. Then when that happened, Louis promised himself that he would tell his mom only if they kissed. Then...after that happened he SWORE he would do it only if they began dating.</p><p>And now this was the last step of avoidance, and so he was reluctant to jump off of it into the deep end. He never thought he'd have to really come out since he still identified himself as bisexual, so now thinking of doing it gave him a headache. He always imagined himself just ignoring the feeling and only approaching women.</p><p>
  <em>It could've been so easy! You could've lived a perfectly normal life and given mom grandkids and Lottie an additional girl to the family and MAYBE your real dad would even show up to a birthday or two...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whoa. Where did that come from? You don't need that prick around. Don't think those things.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why can't my subconscious just shut up for ten seconds about him?</em>
</p><p>Louis grew annoyed as he had been thinking of his dad more and more these days. For years, he had gotten away with not worrying about him all, with his father only visiting in the dreams that scared him awake. He buried the memories so deep they didn't surface too often, so he was annoyed that they were so prominent nowadays.</p><p>
  <em>I mean to even disrupt my basic thinking in broad daylight? I've never wanted him at my birthdays...what the fuck was that?</em>
</p><p>But deep down Louis obviously knew. He knew that no matter what had happened, the ache he felt for the shit he had gone through was there. His mom always told him it was okay to not know how to deal with the emotions from it all...but the longer it prolonged the bigger they got, like a huge ball that was taking up most of the room. The fear, the disgust with himself, the anger at his emotions. It took him a lot to even get to the point he was now, but he only wished his stupid father would leave him alone.</p><p>
  <em>Give it a rest Lou. You were thinking about mom, not that bastard.</em>
</p><p>He brought himself back to his original thoughts. He <em>really </em>didn't want to hide the fact that he was dating someone from his mom and sisters, but also wondered if this was really even the time to tell them? And was it really that important for them to know? I mean he and Harry weren't really anything yet..but he couldn't help but think ahead.</p><p>
  <em>Louis do you like breaking your mother's heart? You think she'd ever forgive you if you tried to keep this secret? It's not gonna change anything so there's no point in hiding. She'll cry her eyes out if you keep something like this from her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then again, it could either change nothing or...EVERYTHING. And is it even worth taking that step for Harry? It's literally been four weeks! That's nothing! What if it crumbled and then I simply did it for nothing?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well no, coming out to your parents might be a good idea anyway Louis. Then again...why even force this stress on myself? This stuff we're doing doesn't HAVE to mean anything. I mean it's only been one kiss! I'm just...I'm just lonely. That's all. That's all it is. There's no use stressing Mum out like this, especially now. You know what Mark said. She needs to take it easy. You're just lonely, this is nothing but some fooling around.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right?</em>
</p><p>But not even he could convince himself of that. He knew that the feelings he had for Harry were not easily deniable, even though he sure wished they were. He thought of him too often, and much too fondly for this just to be an experiment or a one-time thing.</p><p>
  <em>Harry also doesn't deserve to be treated like a fucking experiment Louis. He's too good for you to want to deny your feelings for him because you're too scared. If this is how you feel, like he's just a plaything, then you need to end it. And fast. You're gonna let things that happened over ten years ago define you now? C'mon Louis. When are you going to quit being so scared?</em>
</p><p>And even thinking about it made his stomach sorta ache in a way he'd never felt before. Part of him was completely sure that he didn't want to give Harry up, but the thoughts that picked apart his every move weren't going away so easily. He felt...wrong? And if he was bisexual, why should he even bother going through all of this anyway? Just pick a girl it's literally that easy, right? He didn't think his mom was going to be too open to the whole idea, but he hoped she would keep an open mind..</p><p>
  <em>Why are you constantly having to make everything harder than it is? You haven't even thought about Mark yet...what if he doesn't want a faggot son?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis, don't use that word on yourself. It's long gone. That's old daddy peaking through again.</em>
</p><p>He thought Mark would be understanding at the very least. I mean, he wasn't particularly sure they would be EXCITED about the whole thing but after everything that had happened, Louis couldn't help but only imagining them all as very understanding and accepting. They knew they had to be.</p><p>Still...the trauma that even haunted his subconscious crept in every time he touched Harry's skin, and it felt like he was getting closer and closer to shutting the door each time. He hated the images. It was like coming up for a breath of air after being underwater, only for your lungs to burn. It was <em>meant </em>to feel good, but after being drowned for so long it only felt painful.</p><p>Harry kept asking what the nightmares were each time he'd wake up in a frightened manner, and Louis lied each time.</p><p>
  <em>Great way to start a relationship, Lou. Lying! Guess it only goes up from here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or maybe it won't since you refuse to define it as a relationship...so maybe cliches don't even apply to it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well...I hope they do. I want it to go up from here.</em>
</p><p>"...We're doing alright though. How's the situation with you all sharing a room?" one of the girls asked facing in Niall's direction. It snapped Louis out of his thoughts and he tried to focus on her bubble gum pink blush on her cheeks and listen.</p><p>"It's alright. I mean, we all thankfully have the same sleeping schedule so it's not been hard to fall asleep and stay there. Nobody snores or anything from what I notice."</p><p>
  <em>Oh well thank goodness they at least hadn't heard Harry and you talking your voices gone. That's comforting.</em>
</p><p>"The only hard part is keeping it clean." Niall continued. "Because SOMEONE, doesn't know how to pick up his own shit." He tilted his head in Louis' direction and Louis only shrugged his shoulders in defense.</p><p>"There are so many better things to do than clean. I'm too busy to tidy."</p><p>"Yeah, that's why Harry follows you around picking everything up!" Niall said laughing. "In fact...I'm pretty sure that's his shirt you're wearing now. Really Lou? Not even checking if it's yours?"</p><p>
  <em>Holy crap am I really wearing his shirt? But it was in my bed...I don't remember him ever taking his shirt off in my bed... He probably left it there changing? Maybe he hoped I would grab it? Holy shit what if everyone starts to think we're together and I'm not even sure of what-</em>
</p><p>"Snap out of it Louis. No one cares it's mine." Harry said quietly putting his hand on the small of his back. Louis felt himself deeply exhale at the touch, trying to stay calm. It felt anchoring to have him there, just as it felt confusing.</p><p>
  <em>This constant battle you have with yourself is not healthy for you or Harry. You want him one second so bad your skin itches to be against his, and the next he grabs your hand and you feel like he's doing the most terrible thing he could. It's not his fault the shit that people put other people through, and taking out your fear of being gay on him is NOT right. It's not right at all,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So why does it feel so good that his hand is on my back?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goddammit, I'm gonna fuck the both of us up if I don't get my shit organized. I can't keep making him run in circles like this. I want you! No, actually I'm getting nightmares again of my dad calling me a faggot and—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck. Not the time to think of your most traumatic experiences Louis. Just shut it and let's play some football or something.</em>
</p><p>"Can we head to the beach? I really wanna play already." Louis blurted out interrupting the flow of the conversation. They all seemed taken aback by his sudden speak up, but still agreed nonetheless and gathered into a couple of cars.</p><p>"Is something the matter?" Harry asked quietly as they climbed into the cab with the other boys following them behind.</p><p>"No. I'm fine."</p><p>
  <em>Just contemplating my whole existence as a person that likes boys is all. It feels liberating and right and perfect and terrible and disgusting and like I should bury myself into a hole all at once. But fine! Fine.</em>
</p><p>"That's not true. But.. are you lying because of me or because this isn't the place to talk about it?" Harry pushed. Louis always hated how he knew he was lying through his teeth, but also he was glad Harry never forced himself on him.</p><p>"Just not the place," Louis replied, and Harry grabbed his hand gently intertwining their fingers and rubbed small circles with his thumb. Louis felt like the world was in place again as he felt the comfort and all his thoughts melted away with just the touch. The effect Harry had on his was almost not of this world, he just had a way of making all the parts of Louis that he didn't like melt away. It almost annoyed him that Harry always seemed to have to take care of him. If anything it should've been the other way around, but he was too busy fighting the demons of his own memories to even think about it.</p><p>
  <em>Does everyone feel this guilty about stuff like this? Not being able to do what you really want because your brain is against you?</em>
</p><p>They got to the beach and piled out, and Louis decided that for the moment he was going to follow Harry's advice and not think about anything other than what was in front of him. And right now there was a gorgeous beach, with his friends and a football game to impress his crush with.</p><p>"Tomlinson!" He heard Nicolo call and run toward him. He was in a pair of bright green swim trunks and wearing a Manchester United cap. Louis suddenly wished he was repping Donnie better.</p><p>"Ready?" Nicolo asked.</p><p>"Never been more. What are the teams?"</p><p>They broke themselves off into even teams, Louis taking his place as the defender of the bunch. Football had always been important to him, and his position on the field had a way of making him feel like he was protecting his team. Like he was tougher than he really was on the front line of the game, and he found himself to be pretty scrappy on the field.</p><p>They played for about an hour, the rest of the boys losing stamina as Louis ran circles around them. He jeered at Niall for his comment from early, and continued to play with ease. It felt good to play again, and even better that he could feel Harry's eyes on him the entire time. Gave him a sort of...</p><p>
  <em>Motivation.</em>
</p><p>"Alright alright, Tomlinson! We get it, you're the best in the game. I admit it!" Nicolo said trying to catch his breath and laughing. Louis decided to be showy and juggled the ball between his two feet, up to his knees, and then caught it gracefully.</p><p>
  <em>Thank goodness that worked.</em>
</p><p>"Can we all go for a swim yet? I'm literally burning hot. We've been playing for over an hour." Liam whined, and after a proper banter about the game they all happily agreed. Louis ran up to the shore with them all laughing and kicking sand at him to try and slow him down.</p><p>
  <em>Unsuccessfully of course.</em>
</p><p>They began running into the water, tackling one another playfully and trying to dip their heads under. Zayn was chasing Louis down further in the ocean and he was running as fast as he could in the treading water when he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his foot.</p><p>"Ah! Fuck!" Louis yelled toppling over himself. He felt the pain move through the side of his foot and grasped onto it collapsing into the water before Zayn came to pick him up.</p><p>"Oh shit! What happened? I thought you were joking cause I was about to catch you! What did you do?" Zayn asked picking him up. Louis had his eyes closed and nose crinkled up in pain. He could feel his foot throbbing under him, but he bit his tongue to prevent him from whining too much. Before he could tell Zayn he was fine, he was feeling himself get hiked up onto someone's back.</p><p>"What happened? Louis, you alright?" He heard Harry ask him. He was seated on Harry's hips and kept his arms wrapped around his neck in the piggyback, trying to not make a bigger deal than he needed to.</p><p>"I can walk fine Harry. It's alright, I'm alright." He tried to lower himself down but Harry only grasped his thighs to hold him up more as he walked through the water.</p><p>"Just...let's get you at least to the sand. So you can sit." He said, and Louis obliged, letting Harry carry him. The pain had begun to dull due to Harry's help, but he knew the second that he put any pressure on it it would only come back.</p><p>They arrived at the shore and the other boys surrounded him asking what had happened. He explained that he was only running from Zayn, and then assumed he had stepped in something in the water. The side of his foot was beginning to swell up and he saw some little black spots around the pained area too. He was trying to laugh it off, but there was definitely pain there.</p><p>
  
</p><p>"It's no big deal guys. I'm all good." He said still trying to shake it off. He climbed off of Harry and put all his weight on his good foot before lowering himself to the ground.</p><p>"Jesus! Go go! You're making me claustrophobic all of you!" Louis said playfully. Internally he was definitely feeling the pain, but he wanted time to wince in his privacy—away from people he had just met. The boys laughed and rolled their eyes but departed anyway, other than Harry of course who had taken a seat next to him after Louis held his arm close to him while everyone walked away.</p><p>
  <em>Wow, he looks really good shirtless...almost too good. Almost good enough to make me forget this fucking PAIN IN MY GODDAMN FOOT! OUCH!</em>
</p><p>Louis winced as the pain shot down to his toes. Harry grabbed his hand and moved Louis' legs to rest in his lap so he could look at Louis' injury.</p><p>"Goddamnit, what did you do darling?" Harry said softly as he looked and it. He began to brush off some of the dirt and with it came off most of the black spikes that had been lodged in his foot.</p><p>"I think it's a sea urchin sting or something. I remember seeing one of my mates get one when I was a kid. Does it hurt a lot?"</p><p>
  <em>Yes.</em>
</p><p>"No, not really. I'm alright I swear. You should go off and do whatever! Today is supposed to be fun."</p><p>And it was like God was playing some cruel joke on him because as Harry tried to brush the last of the sand away, Louis felt like a big needle had just been ripped out of his foot and he winced in pain.</p><p>"I'm sorry! Did I hurt you!" Harry said apologetically. Louis shook his head trying to convince him it wasn't his fault and he was just being a baby.</p><p>"We honestly should call the hospital. What if it gets worse Lou? You can't even stand?"</p><p>"It's fine! I can walk it off. I just gotta get the spikes out and then the swelling will die down." Louis said, bracing himself and then pulling another visible one out. He knew there were some that he was not going to be able to get, so saying he was not going to the hospital was only kidding himself.</p><p>After watching him pull out the bits of spike and wince each time, Harry broke down and called the X-Factor team who called an emergency cab for them to take Louis to the hospital. The rest of the boys offered their assistance in taking care of him, but Harry only hiked him up on his hips again and rejected them as he piggybacked Louis to the cab and then later helped him into the hospital doors.</p><p>"I can't believe you wanted to walk it off," Harry said as Louis was using him as a human crutch to get into the doors of the check-up room.</p><p>"Hey! It was worth a shot. I hate seeing you so worried." Louis said as Harry sat him down in the waiting room.</p><p>"You have a sea urchin in your foot and you're worried about ME being worried about YOU? You're so good to me, but please let's use that big brain of yours and focus on what's important." </p><p>Harry went and checked Louis in while Louis sent a text to his mom of what happened. She freaked out initially but was more relaxed after knowing Louis wasn't alone and he wasn't in insane amounts of pain either.</p><p>"Do you want me to stay with you? Like until you're out?" Harry asked, grabbing Louis' hand tightly in the empty waiting room. Louis looked over at him and smiled, wishing so bad he could kiss him.</p><p>"I think I'll be alright Harold. But, thank you for everything anyway."</p><p>After a bit more convincing, Harry departed giving Louis a small kiss on the cheek (which made him blush like a madman he must admit). They called him in shortly after, telling him it was not to be worried about, but he should stay the day tomorrow anyway so they could make sure he wasn't allergic or it got worse.</p><p>"I can't stay all day. I have a rehearsal for a show the day after tomorrow. I can't let my mates down." Louis told them.</p><p>"Well we're sorry Mr. Tomlinson, but if you don't then you standing without pain is unlikely. If you just stay tomorrow and rest, you'll be completely better in no time."</p><p>And as stubborn as Louis was, it seemed like the right thing to do either way. He sorta found himself wishing that he had asked Harry to stay, and wondered if he was already asleep or not...</p><p>The rest of his night consisted of him trying to sleep, but being awakened by the beginnings of his subconscious trying to destroy him.</p><p><em>Screw these nightmares. </em>He would think each time he woke up.</p><p>At two am he saw his dad pulling him around the room, and screaming at him. At three it was the one of him coming home with shopping bags and throwing Louis a dress calling him stupid names and telling him to play dress up. At four it was seeing his mom yanking Louis away from his dads grasp, before he would ultimately win and throw Louis into his room for wanting to help his mom clean or cook.</p><p>As he lay there after that one, he thought of Niall's words from the morning.</p><p>"Because SOMEONE, doesn't know how to pick up his own shit." He had said.</p><p>
  <em>I always got in trouble for picking up. That was Mom's job. If I did Dad would get pissed. Men don't do those things...they don't tidy.</em>
</p><p>But he had only said he was too busy to clean. It was always his excuse. "Too Busy." but in reality, he didn't even know how to do it. Dad wouldn't let him.</p><p>What made it worse was each time he woke up, he would reach out and hope to find Harry sleeping there.</p><p>All the no prevail.</p><p>
  <em>When did I forget what it was like to sleep alone?</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N <br/>Thank you for always reading. Your comments make my day! Thank you!</p><p>More chapters coming soon :) I've got it all planned out!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Unclear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*Harry's POV*</p><p>Harry couldn't keep his hands off of Louis since the second that he had gotten back. Every moment he was trying to get close to him, brushing his shoulder, locking their pinkies, running his hands through his hair...Anything he could do, he was doing it.</p><p>
  
</p><p>He hadn't been able to sleep at all the night that Louis was away. He was worried about him being uncomfortable or feeling unsafe. He worried about the nightmares, or even just how thoughtful Louis was and how it seemed he could drown in his own brain. But, although Harry thought he was lying, Louis assured him he slept soundly through the night.</p><p>
  <em>You're gonna have to stop questioning everything he does. Just trust him, or at least make him think you do.</em>
</p><p>He didn't question Louis in any way after, to try and follow through with his own advice, and it seemed to make everything flow incredibly smoothly for a while. Once he returned to the house Harry couldn't help but throw his arms about him and hold him close.</p><p>Harry had missed the scent of his hair. He had missed the feeling of his cheek pressed against his. He had missed the way Louis twined their fingers together when he thought Harry was asleep. He would've kissed him as soon as he arrived if there wouldn't have been cameras.</p><p>
  
</p><p><br/>To make the whole thing that much better, they made it through judges' houses after their "Torn" performance and were on their way to their new housing location. Harry was sad to see some of his friends go, but at the same time he knew it only meant less competition for them and that was most definitely a good thing. He sat beside Louis in their cab and had his fingers resting on his leg, Louis staring at the window lost in his mind as usual.</p><p>"Whatcha thinking about?" Harry asked, running his finger on his thigh and bunching up the soft fabric. Louis turned and gave Harry a tired smile.</p><p>
  <em>Always thinking. Precious boy, never letting himself rest.</em>
</p><p>"About the house. New place. And... I didn't sleep as well as I told you at the hospital, so I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing."</p><p>
  <em>Did he just..tell me the truth? SOUND THE ALARM. SOUND THE ALARM.</em>
</p><p>"Why—uhm—why didn't you just tell me from the beginning that you had trouble sleeping? I was just worried.. you don't have to hide things like that from me you know." Harry asked him truly curious. He never understood why Louis tried to dodge every opportunity Harry had to get to know him. Didn't he want to get closer? Was that not the whole point?</p><p>"Not sure. I guess I'm still getting used to this whole thing you know?" Louis said quietly enough that really only Harry could hear him. Harry didn't completely understand Louis' reasoning behind the slow-motion they seemed to be going in, but he didn't mind having to be patient.</p><p>The rest of the boys continued their loud singing and laughing while Harry watched Louis breathe deeply as if battling every thought in his head.</p><p>
  <em>Like always.</em>
</p><p>"That's okay. I'm still getting used to it all too." Harry replied, and Louis smiled at him once again. The kind that barely reached his eyes because it was obviously not the most comfortable.</p><p>"It's okay to be tired. We'll sleep well tonight, alright?" Harry leaned in and whispered into his ear. Louis shivered, obviously affected by the action, and then suddenly pulled himself away from Harry. Harry was confused by it, Louis would typically never yank himself away like that.</p><p>"Sorry. Did I do something wrong?" Harry asked, and Louis only stayed seated further from<br/>him, and almost like he was shutting himself down into his own little bubble. This happened every once and a while, but never this prominent.</p><p>Harry would've been stupid not to notice that Louis was timid about the affection they shared sometimes. He knew that Louis wasn't completely ready for the type of thing they were doing (whatever that was). He suspected it was because Louis was scared, though he wasn't sure exactly where it stemmed from since his level of communication was four out of ten at best. Was it fear of commitment? Was it fear of getting hurt? Was it fear of liking a boy in general? Harry had no clue, but honestly? He was perfectly fine with that. He was fine with waiting. Mostly because he had no choice, but also he really didn't mind being patient with Louis.</p><p>And it only had hurt his feelings a couple of times. All of which Louis was not completely focused! So, Harry never blamed him for those.</p><p>Sometimes, when Louis would think Harry was asleep, he would peel himself out of their entanglement while Harry pretended not to notice. Sometimes, when they were holding hands, Louis would try and slowly get himself out of it. Sometimes, when they were talking half asleep and Harry got too close, Louis would back up suddenly. Harry tried to be understanding to the whole thing, and he wanted to say that he was thinking of all the other outside factors that could've made this happen as well like a rational person.</p><p>But he wasn't.</p><p>To him...it just kinda felt like Louis didn't want him. He convinced himself over and over that the idea was far from the truth, and if he didn't want him he would've never asked Harry to kiss him that night. Still, the whole puzzle of their relationship was peculiar to him and he imagined that Louis had already overthought himself into the next dimension and so he was pulling away. Harry wanted him to feel wanted, but also didn't want to force anything on him so it kinda felt like a dangerous game.</p><p>
  <em>If only he would just tell me. I don't want to push him, but I know he's thinking too far ahead and scaring himself. Why can't he just ever be in the moment?</em>
</p><p>"I don't need you to sleep well, Harry. I'll be fine." Louis mumbled sternly. Harry furrowed his brows in confusion as he tried to take Louis' hand again to no prevail.</p><p>"I didn't mean that Lou—I just meant.."</p><p>"I know what you meant. Stop thinking I need you so badly, alright? Jesus. You're all over me all the damn time. It's exhausting."</p><p>And Harry stopped for a minute, looking at the way the scene was set up. His fingers were reaching out for Louis, and he had been leaning on him. In fact, it looked like he was the only one not in his own bubble and Louis wasn't reciprocating at all.</p><p>
  <em>How didn't I notice that? God, I'm totally invading his space and he hates it.</em>
</p><p>"Well, sorry." He said as pulled himself off of Louis swiftly, turning his torso away from him. He felt his chest rising a bit taller as he felt insecure about the rejection and tried to hide it, but as the embarrassment subsided he realized he was actually more angry than anything else. Sure, Louis had done small things that made him feel a bit confused but Harry could always blame it on exhaustion or unconsciousness.</p><p>This time he couldn't. Louis looked at him right there and told him that. And he would be lying if he said it didn't make his chest hurt a little bit.</p><p>
  <em>Always playing this stupid little push and pull game with me. I like you! No never mind. No, wait Harry yes! Nooo actually never mind. Jesus, I'm so sick of him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I'm also so not sick of him at all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How annoying.</em>
</p><p>Louis obviously began to feel remorseful as he tried to get Harry's attention once more with a subject change, but Harry was only cross with him. Louis reached out to grab his hand, but Harry only put them on his lap and shuffled from the touch.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, see</em>
  <em>, </em>
  <em>Louis</em>
  <em>? </em>
  <em>Doesn't feel good to be peeled away from huh?</em>
</p><p>He really didn't want to play these back and forth games with Louis, it simply wasn't his style. He was an honest person, and Louis knew what Harry wanted and even though he didn't mind waiting it didn't mean he was going to let Louis speak to him crossly. After letting Harry pack his clothes, clean up after him, take him to the hospital, and even get his breakfast ready, he decided Harry deserved to be spoken to crossly?</p><p>
  <em>Yeah right. You'll see what </em>
  <em>being </em>
  <em>all over </em>
  <em>someone </em>
  <em>looks like.</em>
</p><p>And so as Louis sat mumbling to Harry something he couldn't make out, Harry leaned into Liam and kissed his cheek playfully to which Liam laughed and wrapped his arm around Harry. Harry put his head on his shoulder and joined the conversation easily.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>He's the one with all the shit going on in his brain. Not me. I shouldn't have to pay for his goddamn moodiness.</em>
</p><p>He talked amongst his friends easily. Singing along to the music they all had memorized for some reason, and texting his family that he was doing well. He was trying to have a fine off time, but it was hard to ignore Louis' attitude next to him.</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I wish I wasn't able to get a read on everyone so well. I'm sure I'd have a much better time.</em>
</p><p>Louis continued to sulk to himself, turning his face away from Harry. Mostly nobody noticed, but once one of their favorite songs came on and Louis didn't sing the rest of the boys began their concern.</p><p>"What's the matter with you, huh?" Zayn asked turning his head around to meet Louis'. "What's the sour face for?"</p><p>"Fucking nothing! Turn it around pretty boy!" Louis said giving a smile at the end. Zayn narrowed his eyes like he didn't believe him, but turned anyway. Harry focused on basically crawling into Liam's lap and acting as unbothered as possible.</p><p>"Don't poke the bear huh?" Zayn said gesturing to Louis. Harry rolled his eyes smiling and the other boys laughed, even though to Harry it wasn't that funny.</p><p>
  <em>He wants me to not be all over him? Fine. He should know that he's lucky</em>
  <em>! I </em>
  <em>literally do whatever he wants and think about his likes and dislikes constantly, and he wants to tell me to get off and think it'll all be fixed with one </em>
  <em>half-ass </em>
  <em>apology? Yeah right.</em>
</p><p>The day continued as such. Harry felt sorta guilty after a couple of hours watching Louis grow more annoyed, but since at this point he would've texted Gemma asking what to do and he really couldn't he was basically winging it. He hadn't told any of his family about then in protection of Louis' privacy. He didn't want to overstep anything, but it also meant he couldn't get any advice from them.</p><p>Louis kept trying to get close to him, and Harry would only move and pull away. He wasn't exactly sure of what his goal was, but he knew at the very least Gemma would say he would need to apologize for his words before Harry did much of anything. She would also say Harry deserved for someone to not talk to him aggressively and then cease to apologize.</p><p>"What do you all want to do tonight? No rehearsal in the morning!" Niall said, sitting next to Harry on the white couches in the living room of their new space. They had seen their rooms, gotten bunk beds once more, and unpacked their things. It wasn't the biggest room in the house, but it would do for now. Harry was bunking under Niall, while Liam and Louis bunked theirs and Zayn slept in one on his own.</p><p>"We should go down to the store and get some beers and watch a movie! Not much else we can do, can we? Could be fun?" Liam suggested, and they all looked excited at the idea until Louis scoffed.</p><p>"Who's gonna buy the drinks, boys? I'm the only one able!"</p><p>"Sorry, Lou," Liam said. They all looked around at one another wondering what was up with him. Harry only shrugged his shoulders as if he was totally oblivious, but was feeling rather bad that because Harry was acting the way he was all the boys had to suffer.</p><p><em>"</em>If you go, I bet Harry will go with you!" Zayn said. Harry gave him a confused look with raised eyebrows, trying to tell him "Why would you say that?!?"</p><p>But Louis' face softened a bit at the comment and he met Harry's eyes. He wanted to turn away, but based on how he felt the other boys sending daggers into him he reluctantly agreed.</p><p>"Fine. We'll be back soon. Someone order a pizza for when we get back!". Harry began lacing up his shoes and then hopped up to walk with Louis out the door, keeping his distance still. The boys had given them a couple of pounds that he put away into his pocket, along with his hands.</p><p>They walked in silence for a good while until reaching the store. Harry wished he could've said he was surprised by the outcome, but since this was the first time Louis had hurt his feelings, this was all new territory completely. Louis snuck glances at Harry every now and again, and he tried to ignore them.</p><p>
  <em>All I need is an apology. Like, I'm not even that mad anymore! He just won't even do that. I don't like him rejecting my touch that angrily. All he has to do is say he's not in the mood...</em>
</p><p>"What do you think we should get?" Louis finally said speaking up as they walked about the convenience store. Harry hummed out as if to say "I don't know", but with his mouth still shut as he grabbed a bag of crisps and a muffin.</p><p>"Jesus. You're that mad at me? You can't even open your mouth? And because I told you to stop touching me on the train? C'mon. I'm allowed to say that."</p><p>"Of course you are, who do you think I am? But think about the fucking way you talk to me, yeah?"</p><p>"You can't take everything so goddamn personally, Harry."</p><p>"How about you stop being a dick in the store and let's just get what we need and go." Harry snapped. Louis rolled his eyes and then went and bought a couple of six-packs for the night. Harry handed him the pounds he had been given and then waited outside until Louis came. He had gotten snacks for himself while he was in there, and reluctantly threw some of the treats he knew Louis enjoyed too.</p><p>
  <em>Me</em>
  <em>? Take</em>
  <em> everything personally...PFFT. How could he say that? He's the one with the fucking attitude. Not me. Anyone would be acting how I am.</em>
</p><p>"Can I help you with them?" Harry asked as Louis came out obviously struggling. He nodded reluctantly and handed Harry one of the packs rolling his lips into his mouth.</p><p>"Thanks."</p><p>They began their stupid walk up, still in silence. Harry could only hear the shuffling of the plastic bags against their legs and their tennis shoes against the street. He thought about what a great time they could be having together if Louis would just <em>TALK </em>to him.</p><p>Finally, when Harry couldn't stand it any longer and they were close to home he stepped in front of Louis and blocked his way. He was not in the mood to continue the whole night like that and obviously, Louis wasn't going to do anything about it.</p><p>"Harry mov-" Louis began trying to get around him.</p><p>"What's the matter with you, huh? Do you think it feels nice for me to get rejected by you like that? Do you think I enjoy being talked to like that?"</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"I'm actually asking you, Louis," Harry said, and even though he was trying desperately to hide it, even he could hear the own hurt in his voice.</p><p>"No. I didn't mean for it to come out so terribly." Louis almost whispered.</p><p>"Well then what did you mean it to come out as? Because "You're all over me" doesn't really have a positive connotation to me in ANY way. I don't like you acting like I'm annoying you with my touch. You asked me to kiss YOU remember? And if you weren't in the mood you could've just told me and I would've backed off! Not gotten so upset out of nowhere and in front of everyone!"</p><p>"Jesus, you don't have to be so high strung about it. It's not my fault that you're constantly trying to be on top of me."</p><p>"Oh, so I shouldn't do that?"</p><p>"That's not what I-"</p><p>"Quit saying that! "That's not what I meant." WELL, either say what you mean or think about your words. You can't have both." Harry spat out.</p><p>He turned away from Louis in frustration and began walking back up the road to their new living space. Louis followed behind him, running to keep up with Harry's quick pace.</p><p>"Harry, C'mon. You can't be mad at me forever. Of course, I like that you're all over me... I mean obviously."</p><p>"Then why did you say that, Hmm?" Harry said turning around to face him once again. Louis was caught off guard and stumbled backward as he ran into Harry's chest.</p><p>
  <em>Why does he look like he's constantly having an entire battle raging in his mind!! What could be so hard?! Either you're sorry for what you said or you're not! Either you like me or not!!</em>
</p><p>"Look, Louis. I'm not trying to rush anything, no matter what your brain might be telling you. The pace you're taking with whatever this is is FINE with me, but you can't be rude to me. I'm still something...or at least I think I'm something to you. Am I right in saying that?"</p><p>Silence.</p><p>Louis continued to stay quiet, and Harry MADE SURE he was choosing to. They stayed there for what seemed like a whole minute of pure silence, with Harry waiting for Louis to admit that they are something (ANYTHING), after all. He felt his teeth clenching into each other and his breath became unsteady as he waited for anything.</p><p>But he didn't get it. Louis stayed there, staring at his shoes and avoiding Harry's eyes.</p><p>So Harry snatched the beers from Louis' hand and lugged all three packs as he walked up and into the doors. Louis trailed behind me still with his foot in his mouth.</p><p>"How'd it go! Any trouble?" Zayn asked, running and taking the beers from Harry to help him carry it. Harry gave it to him as politely as he could while being so upset, after all, it wasn't Zayn's fault he felt so stupid.</p><p>"Nothing with the beers, no," Harry replied, and Louis only stood behind him with his chest collapsed and eyes down.</p><p>"Well, c'mon! We picked a movie to watch and I'm starving. We wanted to wait for you to eat the pizza." Zayn said again, and Harry followed him not giving Louis one glance.</p><p>
  <em>Guess I was reading the whole thing as more intimate than I thought. Whether or not he doesn't think we're anything, doesn't want us to be anything, or simply doesn't want to admit it to himself doesn't really matter either way. With that, he's made it clear he actually doesn't want me enough to even say it out loud...I'm willing to wait. I told him I was! But I just need to make sure he wants this at all...</em>
</p><p>Harry's mind began to get quieter as he chugged down his beer. He hadn't eaten much of anything all day, and so it definitely felt nice as his cheeks began to go rosy and the laughter became louder and happier. Soon he was watching the stupid movie that boys had picked, and had almost forgotten how upset he was.</p><p>
  <em>Almost.</em>
</p><p>They enjoyed themselves, Harry with his back to Louis as he sat on the floor with Niall, playing their own made-up drinking game. Harry had eaten his weight in pizza and grabbed the muffin he had bought out to split with Niall. He threw the bag behind him to hit the floor and then turned back over to the movie.</p><p>"Uhm-Harry, what'd you buy this for?" Louis said as he shuffled through the grocery bag and pulled out the chocolate he had snuck in it for Louis.</p><p>
  <em>Of course. Only wants to talk to me when it involves something for him.</em>
</p><p>"You, idiot. I know you like it. It doesn't change that you're being a fucking wanker, but yeah it's yours." Harry said, clenching his jaw and feeling upset again.</p><p>
  <em>OKAY BUT </em>
  <em>DID I JUST </em>
  <em>CALL HIM A WANKER?!</em>
</p><p>"Whoa! What an insult! What did you do Lewis?" Niall teased still shoving the chocolate chip muffin in his mouth. Harry looked over to see if he'd get a response, only to see that he was still looking at the candy bar and then back to Harry.</p><p>"How'd you know I like this one?" He asked keeping his eyes locked on Harry. It had been the first time of the night that Harry had looked at him, and he didn't know if it was the beer or not but all the blood rushed to his face as they held their stare. Luckily all the boys had already looked away, so Harry kept his eyes for a bit longer.</p><p>"Because I listen to you darling," Harry said rolling his lips into his mouth in annoyance. He was finding himself stupidly overwhelmed at the way Louis' hair was just a bit messed up from laying on the couch, and how his lips were wet from the beer he had just drunk.</p><p>They held staring at each other while the other guys laughed and played around, throwing crisps and straw wrappers at each other. Harry was positive if they weren't tipsy, there would be more questions but luckily they could avoid it for now.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Louis let his shoulders relax as they continued looking at each other, almost unable to peel away. His teeth released the inside of his cheek, and he slowly mouthed the words "I'm Sorry" before pouting and furrowing his lips. Harry smiled just a bit and gestured for their escape as he nodded.</p><p>
  <em>I just need to know he WANTS to try. That's it. I'm not unreasonable.</em>
</p><p>"We're gonna go out for a smoke lads," Louis said, and both he and Harry got to their feet. Harry was trying to keep his mind at bay because he still wanted Louis to explain what had triggered the mean commentary before basically pouncing on him.</p><p>"Oh really!" Zayn said, quickly getting up. "Can I have one off ya? I'll give you some extra pounds tomorrow. Please, Lou!"<br/>he begged. Louis rolled his eyes looking apologetically toward Harry but agreed. The three of them walked outside and Harry simply watched as they both shared their drag.</p><p>
  <em>I feel like Rachel Green when her boss smoked but she didn't. That was a funny episode. I remember Gemma-"</em>
</p><p>"Harry and I will stay out here a bit longer. He hasn't gotten a drag yet. But you go Zayn! We'll be in in a bit." Louis said. Zayn gave them both a sweet and overwhelming hug before going back into the house smelling like cigarette smoke and beer.</p><p>"Harry, I'm sorry," Louis said as soon as he turned around from watching Zayn walk back in.</p><p>His face looked like he was so exhausted, and suddenly Harry began to feel bad again. He wasn't sure if what Louis did was on purpose or not, but he knew it frustrated him just as well to not be able to feel normal with Harry.</p><p>"You—Uhm—you don't have to really be sorry. You're right in that you can say no to me being all over you-"</p><p>"No, but I like that. I like that you are! I don't know why I said that." Louis said frantically as if he didn't want Harry to think that for even one more second.</p><p>
  <em>Well, I don't want to think about it either.</em>
</p><p>"Lou. These things are hard. And I know it's harder on you than you're admitting to me. But that's OKAY. I just need to know...am I something to you? Someone that.. makes you want to be with them? Like in the way you're thinking-"</p><p>And Louis moved forward quickly and grasped Harry's face in his hands. Harry let his sentence fade out as they were nose to nose, Harry feeling Louis' chest rising against his with both their mouths agape.</p><p>"You are more than just something to me, Harry...You're all I think about. That moment I first met you...remember how it felt like the world went quiet? For a second? I know you noticed it."</p><p>Harry nodded his head, leaning it into one of Louis' palms like a cat wanting to nuzzle in for a pet.</p><p>"I think the world was just waiting for me to meet someone like you."</p><p>And Louis leaned in eighty percent of the way, closing his eyes and waiting for Harry to close everything in. He thought about how he <em>really </em>wanted to know the reasoning behind what had happened in the car before snogging him.</p><p>But at this point, it didn't really matter.</p><p>He leaned in and closed the gap between them. Harry knew he had kissed Louis before, but they were both too exhausted and surprised for it to be any good. In the years to come, Harry would always think of this moment as their first real kiss whenever he reminisced.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Louis ran his fingers up Harry's hair, taking a handful in it and closing his fists. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis so tightly, the air in between them was going to have to be shared carefully because it would be sparse. The taste of the cigarette smoke lingered as Harry tasted it on Louis' lips. They pushed their lips against each other unembarrassed, and Harry could feel hot breath escaping them both through their noses as they desperately didn't want to pull away. Harry pressed against Louis' bottom lip, massaging it over and over while Louis began pressing his hips into him. He pulled gently on his hair and Harry responded by moving one of his hands down to his lower back and pushing him closer. He was about to release his jaw and give Louis full power over the situation when he found his lips cold.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Louis said breathlessly. "I'm so scared. It's not your fault baby. It's mine." He was breathing hard and pressing his forehead against Harry's. Harry lifted his hand up and gently brushed Louis' hair behind his ear, pecking his swollen lips once more.</p><p>"We can take it slow. There's no rush. There's never any rush with you." Harry said, and Louis leaned back in and kissed him even more desperately than before. He pulled Harry's hair toward him, then planted kisses not only on his lips but trailing over his blushing face and neck as well.</p><p>"Call me what you just called me again," Harry said breathlessly as Louis began kissing his neck gently. He moved his head back so that Louis could actually have the leverage he needed.</p><p>
  <em>Gimme a love bite darling. Trust me. I'll be fine.</em>
</p><p>"What's that?" Louis said as he reluctantly pried his lips from Harry's neck. He climbed up once again and then held himself only centimeters away from Harry's lips.</p><p>"Oh. You mean baby?" He said smirking, and Harry gave his lower back a light tap before smiling shyly and letting his gaze drop.</p><p>"No, hey! Look at me." Louis said, trying to lightly bring Harry's gaze back up by lifting his chin. As he grabbed it he also brushed Harry's bottom lip with his finger.</p><p>"Please, baby?" Louis cooed leaning into his ear. Harry found himself shivering right down to his toes, and he looked up at Louis meeting his eyes.</p><p>"Thank you. For your patience. I'm sorry I'm such a fucking mess." Louis said, and he almost looked sad by the end of it. Harry pecked his lips again.</p><p>"Mess or not, I want it. I'm a mess too sometimes. Do you want me?"</p><p>"More than anything."</p><p>"Alright, then it's settled."</p><p>And they stood out there for a while after, Harry tangling himself in Louis once again.</p><p>
  <em>You're safe with me. I won't hurt you. I won't judge you. All your worries would be safe with me if you'd just let me in.</em>
</p><p>Guess everyone that it was one long smoke break.</p>
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